Life Over Coffee

A few years ago I was counseling a couple who were angry with each other. During our counseling, I asked the wife what was wrong with the marriage. Without hesitation or skipping a beat, she gave me a long, clear, and detailed list of all the things that were wrong with her husband. There was was no question about it: he was a failure. Because I like to play fair, I turned to the lady’s husband an...

What were the practical things you did when you first won your spouse’s affections? Are you still doing them, or has the pace of life diverted your attention from your early marriage priorities? Reflect upon the giddy time in your relationship. Do you remember those carefree and silly days when it was just you two? Those days do not have to remain in your past. It was important to Lucia and me tha...

The modeling of Christ and practicing repentance in your home are at the top of the list of what you both should be doing in your family relationships. Suppose you are not imitating Christ or repenting of sins. In that case, your marriage can only limp along, with a Band-Aid approach while accelerating the accumulative frustration that leftover, hungover sinning does until death disrupts your one-...

One of the most powerful ways to imitate Jesus in our marriages is by having an other-worldly lack of self-interest (Philippians 2:5-11). A profound statement that connects so well with the gospel is that if the gospel truly anchors us, we have nothing to fear, nothing to defend, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide. Isn’t Jesus like that with you? He is so secure in His relationship with you that...

Finally, after several attempts to convince them of the futility of their positions, I conceded any further hope of a ceasefire. There would be no redemptive-relational progress that day. They were too mad, too self-justified, too hurt, too unforgiving, and too stubborn to change. At that point, I gave up and recommended that the combatants continue fighting. Yes, I told them to pursue their anger...

When your spouse sins, who pays for it? Do you make them pay for what they did wrong, or do you take your spouse to Jesus and show them how His death is enough punishment to remove the transgression? Christians understand the point of the gospel: Christ paid for our sins. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-2-who-pays-for-your-spouses-sins/ Will you help us to continue providing free content...

Shows Main Idea – The struggle with pornography is a significant issue that affects both men and women, though it might manifest differently and need somewhat nuanced approaches to overcome it. In the context of biblical teaching, the use of pornography is a misdirection of the God-given desire for love and intimate connection, which becomes corrupted by sin, making our normal desires self-centere...

If you are going to imitate the Lord in your marriage (Ephesians 5:1), being for your spouse must be a logical and loving objective and practice. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-3-are-you-for-your-spouse/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donat...

God never condemns, mocks, criticizes, or puts you down when you share your heart with Him (Ephesians 4:29). He is always ready to listen and willing to help. The Father knows your frame and understands your weaknesses. He encourages you by speaking into your various situations with love (Psalm 103:12-14). Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-4-no-more-condemnation/ Will you help us to contin...

A husband and wife are not just two people within the marriage. Yes, they have independent relationships with the Lord and with other people, but they are also one flesh. Like our blessed Trinity, there is perfect oneness that unites the Persons. This kind of union is both a mystery and a practical reality. Though you cannot fully understand what a one-flesh union means, you can functionally and f...

If you put two sinners in a room (home) for an extended period with no plan for escape, you can expect problems. There may be a lot of love along the way, but there will also be problems. It's unavoidable. The dating couple can break up and go on to the next relationship. Vocational workmates are similar. If you don't like your boss or the environment in which you work, you can move on to the next...

What Adam lacked was not someone to fill his empty love cup but someone who would allow him to display God in the world in a more complete way. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-13-the-main-reason-you-need-someone/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurri...

We are one body (Hebrews 13:3). When I sin—no matter what it is—my wife has a responsibility for that sin. She would never say, "That's Rick's problem. That's his sin." No, it's our sin. She is not guilty of my sin, and she does not repent of my sin, but she has a role to play because she is me, and I am here—we are one. When I sin, she runs to my aid by calling me out or caring for me. She become...

What is the most important quality you would like to have in your life? Of all the qualities to choose from, there is one transcending quality that must be at the top of your list. That one transcending quality is God's glory. If your desire to glorify God is the chief aim of your life, there is a fantastic chance you will experience a meaningful and satisfying life and marriage, even should your...

One of the more common complaints I hear from spouses is when one of the partners in the marriage talks about being alone in the marriage. These lonely spouses perceive a seemingly invisible barrier between each other. It's a communication barrier they cannot change because the deepest and most intimate component of marriage communication is uniquely spiritual. While couples can relate in many way...

The sex talk begins in a child's toddler years as they learn about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships through the attitudes, words, and interactions of their parents. Sex is a shame-laced subject because of our mutual fallenness. One talk just before they head off to high school is not enough to help them think right about gender, identity, and sexuality. Even our worldly counterparts—though t...

One of the most exciting and bittersweet times in a parent’s life is walking their child through the sex talk. It’s the season that leads them into adulthood. It’s the secret handshake that lets them know that the curtain of childhood is dropping and a brave new world is in front of them. It’s exciting because you are the one leading her. It’s bittersweet because your little kid is growing up. Rea...

The sex talk is a transitional time in a child’s life, but long before you have the talk, your child will have a worldview and practice in place that will form the backdrop for how he will process what you’re telling him during the sex talk. His home environment forms that worldview and develops his relational habits long before he learns about the most intimate aspects of male and female relation...

Is there a terrific way to introduce the sex talk to your child? Every parent is faced with the challenge, though every parent does not think about sex the same way. Of course, there are a few parents who kick the sex talk can down the road, assuming they will learn eventually. I suspect if you brought the sex talk up to a group of adults, there would be a mixed bag of responses. Read Here: https:...

The wedding day is not the best time to learn how to be a spouse. Too many young couples begin this way. Without prior marriage training, they had to figure out how to get along with each other in the school of hard knocks. Some of them do not endure their marriage, which is why we chose to give our son three wives. If practice makes perfect, the assumption is that we could help him get close to w...

Statistically speaking, the chances of your son or daughter being married are greater than them spending their adult lives as singles. This likelihood is not inside information but public knowledge. Boys like girls and girls like boys, and most boys and girls will tie the knot in holy matrimony, even though there has been a multi-decade assault on marriage between a man and woman. How do you prepa...

It is impossible to engage our culture at any level and not hear their language, including curse words. Whether it is social media, a television show, or a stroll in the park, our culture’s words do not discriminate or care about our worldview. Because of the unending assault of their language upon us, the questions every caring parent must answer is who is going to teach their child the culture’s...

Though it would be simpler to place the lust problem in the lap of one gender, it would bring harm to God’s Word because lust is every person’s temptation. Perhaps a couple of synonyms for lust will level the playing field, holstering our tongues to where we’re less likely to go, “Ready! Fire! Aim,” and react more soberly as we consider the wisdom in the sequence of the log and speck (Matthew 7:3-...

Every home is a laboratory where parents have the privilege of incrementally introducing their children to the culture around them. This incremental child development process prepares them to live in and engage in their world as adults while not being overcome by the culture. The proactive and intentional parent does not wait until the child is an adult to teach them how to live like an adult. Rea...

Many women preparing for marriage ask, “What should I know if the man I’m dating struggles with porn?” That’s the question this chapter aims to answer. If you’re a single woman walking toward marriage, or if you’re already in a relationship with a man who has a history with pornography, you need more than sympathy or vague assurances. You need biblical clarity. You need to understand the depth of...