Letters To My Son

“Ego needs honors in order to be validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition.” - Ryan Holiday, Ego Is The Enemy

I’m just lucky to be here. We are lucky to be here. We’re lucky to have challenges that push us forward, lucky to have ups and downs that bring us closer to the people in our lives.

Keep your head in the game in the present moment. Focus on making one good play and doing your part, moment by moment, until the competition ends.

“But no matter how mightily you might struggle, the world will believe in you, follow you, and allow themselves to be saved - If they know you to be honest, trustworthy, of good character and good faith.”

If you are one of the lucky ones to be playing in New York City right now trying to win three matches to earn a spot on the main draw of the US Open, good luck. What an exciting time in your life to have an opportunity to make a childhood dream come true.

Role models offer a practical wisdom. The closer the role models experience is to yours, the more practical advice you may find. No one can speak to a wounded veteran like another wounded veteran. No one can speak to a family that has cared for a desperately ill child like another family that has done the same.

To be humble is to recognize that one’s intellect, one’s physical strength, one’s wealth all pale when compared to the vastness, the complexity, the richness, the power, and the grandeur of the universe.

When you find yourself reflecting on someone’s positive example to guide your thinking and your actions and you begin to imitate them, then you have a role model.

“Be original. Be yourself. To be anything else is to be a coward. Don’t let the opinion of cowards influence what you think or do. The future depends on it.”

In times of upheaval, crisis, and turmoil, great leaders turn to humor as a source of strength for themselves and those that they lead.

Great coaches understand this, whether you’re a Division 1 college hopeful or a gifted young musician on your way to play Carnegie Hall one day. It’s all about having a process that helps close the gap from where you are to where you want to be.

Only one thing matters at a time, and that one thing is the most important thing in the world.

Motivation comes from thought. Every act we take is preceded by a thought that inspires that act. And when we quit thinking, we lose the motivation to act. We eventually slip into pessimism, and the pessimism leads to even less thinking. And so it goes, A downward spiral of negativity and passivity, feeding on itself like cancer. - Steve Chandler, 100 ways to motivate yourself

“Someday a small act of courage may change the course of a nation, and someday a small act of sacrifice may change the course of history. You must start preparing now by learning from the heroes that came before you and those who walk among you today.”

Forgiveness will never be easy. It was not meant to be. It takes a strong person to forgive. But the act of forgiving will strengthen your character immeasurably and it will rid you of hatred that is the demise of so many good men and women.

“He had this gaunt look and he wore all the pain of running on his face. You can imagine him in sight of the finish, pain clawing through his thighs, the rhythm of his heart pounding in his ears, his lungs on fire. That’s very real pain. And a very real pleasure.

To continually show up for yourself, to get to know yourself, to remove the armor, to literally change your thought processes and brain pathways is some of the most important work I continue to do. There is a different kind of stamina needed, a different kind of endurance needed, for a journey that has no finish line.

Why do some quit while others continue? Why do some assume they have failed when no one told them they failed? Why do some refuse to believe they failed when others insist they are a failure?

Expecting adversity is a hallmark of many successful people, and it extends well beyond the world of sports. If you think this kind of visualization practice is reserved only for Olympic athletes, you would be incorrect.

“Apply yourself to thinking through difficulties - hard times can be softened, tight squeezes widened, and heavy loads made lighter for those who apply the right pressure.“ - Ryan Holiday, Courage is calling

Realize that time isn’t standing still for you, me, or anyone. Grab life by the horns. Don’t sleepwalk by opportunities. Go to bed each night thinking, today I was at my best. And make each day your masterpiece.

Why do I cry just remembering the US men’s hockey team on the verge of beating the powerhouse Russian squad and the crowd in Lake Placid is counting down the seconds and Al Michaels asks, “do you believe in miracles?”

“You think it’d be better if things were easy. You wish you didn’t have to take this risk. If only the leap didn’t look so damn dangerous. That’s just the fear talking.”

In the Taoist tradition, the core teaching is that the key to our full potential is to balance our Yin (feminine) and Yang (masculine) energies.

We need to fall in love with who we are. Our flaws, our brilliance, our quirkiness, our insecurities, our psychotic thoughts. The whole spectrum. Appreciate YOU.