Late To The Table

You know the scariest thing about The Exorcist?  The fact that I have to post these episodes super early in the morning AND (Borat voice) my wife (/Borat voice) keeps the house so cold it feels like I’m dying.  Cold like Regan’s room in The Exorcist.  See that transition?  That’s why I’m a pro.  It was nominated for 10 Academy Awards in 1973, BUT IS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR TWO DUMMIES LIKE MIKE AND RIC...

Mike has never seen an episode of Seinfeld.  Rich and Dev threatened to murder his dog if he didn’t change that.  Mike watched an episode of Seinfeld.  NOT JUST ONE EPISODE.  Three! Three episodes of Seinfeld.  Is it the greatest show of all time, or just a pretender?  I mean probably neither right?  People make too make bold statements.  Get into it! 

Pros:  Glengarry Glen Ross has an amazing cast/team behind it.  Cons: It’s not very good.  Hear me out! It just doesn't hold up for Mike and Rich!  Maybe you disagree…MAYBE YOU’RE AN IDIOT.   I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.  Listen to the utter disappointment in the guys’ voices as they try to figure out what went wrong.  This episode brought to you by Traffic Cop!

Planes, Trains, And Automobiles is one of Roger Ebert’s “Great Movies” as well as Steve Martin’s and John Candy’s favorite movie of there own.   So then why do the guys politely disagree?  Are the able to keep a critical mindset in the face of John Hughes filled 80s nostalgia or are they just bad people?  Both?  Neither?  I mean we’re okay.  

We did it.  We really did it.  Does Top Gun hold up in 2015?  Are pedophiles allowed in the danger zone?  What NFL quarterback is the equivalent of Tom Cruise’s Maverick?  This episode will take your breath away.  Guaranteed.  

The guys venture into Jim Henson’s 1986 movie labyrinth and encounter a perplexing maze of their own, filled with poorly conceived plot structure and extraneous scenes.  OK.  This movie was rough for us.  We’re guys in our late 20s, early 30s.  This movie was not meant for us.  Maybe it was meant for you.  Maybe you saw it as a child/are Jennifer Connelly.  We don’t poop all over it.  We try to fi...

Dev’s back from vacation!  The team has reassembled like the Avengers, except their super power is making the BEST SHOW EVER…all while winning Peabody awards and being deflowered by multiple groupies.  See Cameron Crowe?  I can be hagiographic too.  Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go drape shopping with Wiz Khalifa.  (SINCERITY CORNER! I LIKE THIS MOVIE! YOU PROBABLY WILL TOO! CHECK. IT. OUT.)

The guys have never seen the Wes Craven classic and set out to investigate if it holds up to the hype.  There they fall prey to the evils of DMX, public education, and drinking absinthe while podcasting. 

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of mid level account executives at toy companies?  Tom Hanks does, and he’s here to fight for justice…80s style.  C’mon man it’s Big!  Everyone in the world except me has seen Big.  Topics include Jodie Sweetie, new world religions/economies,  and the elephant in the room: pedophilia   Side note:  this is one of my perosnal favorite Late To The Table episode...

Mike and Rich knock off the rust from their recent vacations by watching the Scorcese classic Goodfellas.  Marvel at their wit!  Wonder at their analysis! Be vaguely amused by their future HBO reality tv show!  Hit it!

In order to fulfill Late To The Table’s “Never Miss An Update Brah!” policy/prophecy, Mike and Rich aggressively pull a two a day and review The Last Of Us.  IT’S A CLASSIC! WE MISSED IT IN THE CORRECT WINDOW OF TIME!  IT’S OUR LONGEST EPISODE EVER…BY FAR…REALLY FAR.  It came out recently, but who cares?  It qualifies!  Listen to the guys exhaustedly make dick jokes/poignant observations/poignant...

Did you know sometimes I write these descriptions at 1:30 in the morning after traveling for 20 hours?  WELL I DO.  We watched Annie Hall and it’s a good movie and an episode of the podcast  I’m really proud of.  What’s that? Sincerity?! HEY IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES.  I feel we did a great job analyzing the movie while keeping true to the dick jokes and Nazi themed humor you’ve come to expect from the...

In an effort to do three episodes in one week Mike and Rich enlist the help of their old friend Brent Thomas Anderson.  The Professional is good!  We’re cutting back on 9/11 jokes, promise….even though this was directed by Luc Besson who directed The 5th Element, the 9/11 of movies.  That was the last one.  I’m swearing off them.  From now on it’s nothing but classic family humor…and jokes about H...

The gang watches a movie that is universally considered one of the greatest of all time and devolve into 9/11 conspiracy jokes.  Sorry. I’m so sorry. We’re doing some community service soon, I swear! 

Dev is busy learning to use the force on Dagobah.  Mike and Rich flee to Cloud City in hopes of evading Darth Vader.  Wait that’s the plot to Empire.  Shit!  What happened this week?  Mike and Rich go off on a ton of tangents and eventually discuss the 80’s classic Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  Also: a Dog is there. 

Can you count on this cult classic movie suckas?  Follow the adventures of a street gang who alternate between being pretty solid dudes and violent rapists(?)!  It’s dark.  It’s funny!  But not on purpose?  Bop your ears over to this PURE PODCAST GOOOOOOLD.  This episode brought to you by twizzlers!

You want us to watch good movies?  HOW ABOUT THE BEST MOVIE…OF ALL TIME.  Or is it?! Okay it’s pretty good and Charles Foster Kane (Mr. Kane if you’re nasty) is quite the gangster.  Topics include thug life, deep critical film analysis, and the smooth, smooth taste of Dr. Pepper.

The guys watch the most 2008 movie possible.  Post couch Tom Cruise, pre-McConaissance McConaughey, immediately after Iron Man RDJ!  Everyone likes Tropic Thunder!  I don’t!  That’s right, I don’t!  It’s Mike writing these!  Dev and Rich can’t stop me!  They like it!  So does everyone else!  You’re all zombies!  SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

Apocalypse now rocks, Robert Duvall rocks, Dr. Pepper rocks!  Wanna know why?  I bet you would…you dork!  Listen to the show! Topics include grenade based fetishes, the darkness within the hearts of men, and a whooooollleee lotta surfing!  

Mike’s sick!  Dev can’t make it!  The quest for the ring stands on the edge of a knife!  WE PUSH FORWARD.  Wet Hot American Summer:  believe the reviews or the hype?  Don’t believe the reviews!  This movie rocks!  Paul Rudd is charming even while he allows children to die.  Imma go fondle some sweaters,  download that show yo!

The gang once again succumb to the evils of alcohol while checking out their first Scorsese film.  Robert De Niro kills it...but not as much as last night's Game of Thrones episode.  I mean did you see that?  Holy shit.  How are they going to follow that?  That had to be like the rest of the season's budget.  That was a amazing...also: Jodie Foster as a 13 year old prostitute and friend of the sho...

Lots of podcasts are doing tie ins with Mad Max Fury Road, but it’s cheap, and tawdry, and we’re above that….so here’s our Mad Max themed 25th episode spectacular*!  The gang hated the original Mad Max, everyone in the world loves Fury Road, how does Road Warrior hold up?  Who could ever forget such iconic characters like Warrior Women and Mechanic?  FIND OUT…now...ish.     *it’s not that spectacu...

The crew switch it up this week by watching a good movie that’s not lying about being based on a true story.  I’m looking at you Starship Troopers!  They discover a hidden gem of a movie and the secret of Al Pacino’s acting talent (volume.)  ATTICA!

We get it.  It’s a satire. It’s a beloved movie by the internet/Rich.  Mike and Dev have issues with it.  Watch Private Johnny “Spider” Rico get continually promoted due to the death of his superior officers.  See Neil Patrick Harris be kind of a dick.  Experience Denise Richards.  This episode brought to you by Activia Yogurt: Activia, the yogurt that helps you poop.

The Rock is a solid (as a rock!) mid 90’s action flick.  It’s also a Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer joint.  Is it the best of a bad lot or is Michael Bay some kind of secret genius?  Minor spoilers for Netflix’s Daredevil and JaMarcus Russell fans.