Kirsten Johnson Podcast

Let's open up about the reason leaving Alcoholics Anonymous is so hard. For me, it was probably the phobia indoctrination , the deeply ingrained belief that to leave is to die. ✨ But today is about you . What’s been the hardest part for you about leaving AA? Whether you’re freshly out or still untangling the mindset years later, this episode holds space for your truth—and invites you to share it....

What if you're going to meetings, working with a sponsor, maybe even doing the steps… but deep down, you don’t believe it anymore? Today’s episode is for you. This is a living f*cking amends to anyone I ever indoctrinated into AA. I used to believe it all. I taught it all. And now I know better. If you're stuck in that weird in-between— half in, half out —you're not alone. And you're not crazy. We...

When you're deprogramming from Alcoholics Anonymous or any high-control group, finding the right therapist can make all the difference. In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast, I walk you through key questions to ask when choosing a therapist — based on advice from cult recovery expert Dr. Janja Lalich. This isn’t just about credentials. It’s about alignment, safety, and whether your therap...

If your therapist is in AA and reinforces the fear, they’re not holding space for your healing — they’re likely holding you hostage to an outdated ideology. In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast, we’re diving into a hard truth: You can’t deprogram from AA with a therapist who’s still inside the program. Even if they claim to be open-minded or say they support other paths… if they're still...

Today I’m telling the story of the most disturbing thing my AA sponsor ever said to me. It was about a known predator in our Alcoholics Anonymous meetings… and how she spiritualized it. This is part of the deprogramming AA series and a crucial conversation about the 13th step—a term so common it has its own name, and that alone should raise alarms. If you've ever felt unsafe, doubted your gut, or...

In 30 signs you're being emotionally manipulated, we're diving in so you can recognize emotional manipulation in real time AND reclaim your power. We’re diving into 30 emotional manipulation tactics—what they are, how they show up in everyday life, and how they’re often used inside Alcoholics Anonymous. This episodes corresponding free guide and online course 👇 📖 30 Signs You're Being Emotionall...

You got sober—but did you get free? In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast , we’re talking about something few people in recovery circles are willing to touch: the idea that Alcoholics Anonymous itself can become addictive. For some of us, the meetings, the steps, the fellowship… it all felt like self medicine. Or maybe it never did. Does AA become another addiction? We'll dive into: How A...

Everyone says AA is free. But what if it’s not? In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast , we break down the real costs of Alcoholics Anonymous—from the thousands of hours of unpaid emotional labor to the therapy bills many of us face after leaving. If you’ve ever paid to unfuck your mind from 12-step ideology, this is for you. We’ll dive into: The hidden emotional, psychological, and financ...

Today in our deprogram AA series we’re unpacking how the AA disease model doesn’t just offer support—it can program you into a state of learned helplessness. What starts as help can turn into a trap: you’re told you’re powerless, broken, and forever in recovery. But what if that’s not true? What if the idea of having a “fatal, progressive disease” is a belief system—not a biological reality—and wh...

What if you weren’t an “alcoholic” after all? In this episode, we dive deep into two of AA’s most insidious high-control tactics: 🔹 Identity manipulation 🔹 Self-diagnosis under pressure We unpack: How AA gets you to adopt the “alcoholic” label when you’re at your most vulnerable Why that label isn’t a medical diagnosis (and never has been) The harm that comes from mistaking neurodivergence, trau...

In today's Daily Dogma Detox series, we’re talking about a phase of sobriety that no one seems to mention — graduating from recovery . What if you don’t need to “recover” for the rest of your life? What if you’re actually done? We'll reflect on what it means to leave AA, the silence around the exit, the courage it takes to trust your gut, and the power of reclaiming your own timeline. This episode...

What happens when a recovery group uses fear to keep you from leaving? In this episode, I unpack one of the most manipulative (and most normalized) control tactics inside AA: phobia indoctrination —the messaging that to leave the group is to die. We talk about: How this tactic is baked into AA's structure and slogans Why it feels so terrifying to leave—even if your intuition is screaming to go A r...

The question so many of us wonder... Is Alcoholics Anonymous a Cult? We're pulling today's pod from Sobriety Bestie YouTube on.. is AA a cult. Listen in here or you can watch it on Sobriety Bestie Youtube. Based on my 10 years inside AA, 5 years outside AA, and everything I’ve learned since speaking publicly — I’m unpacking it all. Inside this episode: ✨ My first impressions of AA (hint: it wasn’...

In this raw and honest episode, I dive deep into one of the most common mantras in recovery spaces: “AA saved my life.” But what if it didn’t? What if you saved your own life? This is a powerful conversation for anyone walking through the fog of deprogramming—especially if you’ve ever felt like AA took credit for your transformation while gaslighting your intuition. I’m unpacking the cultural cond...

When I left AA, I didn’t just walk away from meetings—I dove straight into studying emotional manipulation . Because I felt humiliated. Embarrassed. Played. Like how did I believe all the nonsense FULLY and for so long. So I wanted to understand what the hell had happened—and how to never fall for it again. In this episode, I’m sharing: The simple tactic I use in real time to break free from manip...

AA told me I had “alcoholic thinking," and "untreated alcoholism" amongst other terms Bill made up. But it turns out… I’m autistic. And ADHD. Not broken, not diseased, not spiritually bankrupt—just wired differently. In today’s Daily Dogma Detox episode, I’m unpacking how Alcoholics Anonymous blocked me from discovering who I really am . I was misdiagnosed inside the rooms—told that my neurodiverg...

Why does AA react so intense when you leave? We're diving into it in another Daily Dogma Detox special episode. In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the real reason why AA members push back so hard when someone chooses to leave—and thrive. When your exit doesn’t fit their narrative, it becomes a threat to their identity. The system can’t acknowledge your freedom, so it labels you as wrong, danger...

What happens when you finally speak your truth about leaving Alcoholics Anonymous? In this episode, I’m diving into the shock of sharing publicly about my exit from Alcoholics Anonymous—and the unexpected emotional and psychological waves that followed. From subtle manipulation to ideological possession, we’re naming what happens when you walk away from a high-control group… and dare to say so out...

What if you were never actually an alcoholic… but neurodivergent all along? Or maybe you have another diagnosis that explains everything like Type 2 Bipolar or depression or... In this episode, I share how Alcoholics Anonymous misdiagnosed me—and how I came to discover I’m autistic and ADHD after I left the rooms. We unpack the pressure to conform inside AA, the common misdiagnosis, especially wit...

📝 SHOW NOTES: Five days ago, I told the internet that I left Alcoholics Anonymous—after 10 years in, and 5 years out. I finally said it out loud. And everything exploded. In this episode, I’m giving you the real, raw, behind-the-scenes of what happened next. From the relief I felt, to the backlash I received, to the massive outpouring of support that showed me just how many people are silently st...

🎧 Episode Summary: In this raw, unfiltered, and deeply personal episode, I finally break my silence and my anonymity around Alcoholics Anonymous. After 10 years as a devoted, true-believer AA member and 5 years since leaving the program, I'm opening up about why I left — and what happened next. This is the story of what it means to evolve beyond recovery . It’s not an AA bash-fest. It’s a soul-tr...