Kiefer? I Barely Knew Her!

Join Chris and B as we double down on avoiding anything water related after watching “The Meg 2.” What’s worse than “The Meg?” Certainly not “The Meg 2,” if that’s what you were expecting. We smoke up and walk the trench to discuss Jason Statham’s hella sick Jet Ski skills, appreciate DJ’s Sarah Connor-like dedication to preparing for a sequel, and wonder if the severely limited gene pool for Mega...

Join Chris and B as we don’t even don our wetsuits because we’ll be avoiding puddles after watching “The Meg.” What’s worse than a mega shark movie with no actual blood and gore? A mega shark movie with no actual blood and gore starring Jason Statham who can’t even use the “F” word. We smoke up and dive down deep to discuss the impacts of a story where the antagonist has no motivation, try to coun...

Join Chris and B as we barter for our pizza and watch “Killer Klowns from Outer Space.” What would be worse than a group of killer klowns from outer space terrorizing your small town? Finding out they already got Joe Lombardo! We smoke up and crash land while we postulate the possible need for an episode of Ancient Aliens showing how the Klowns gave us blueprints for castles, introduce a new tool...

Join Chris and B as we enjoy “Die Hard” with little to no vengeance. What’s worse than being accidentally invited to a holiday party on the other side of the country where the guests become hostages for a group of presumed terrorists? Being invited on purpose. We smoke up and chuck loose bricks of C4 down elevator shafts while discussing the importance of planning your heist wardrobe, do our best...

Join Chris and B as we leap from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit of 2015’s “Krampus”. What's worse than spending the holidays with extended family, in a home without power, during a blizzard? Nothing… I’ve got nothin’. We smoke up and chomp down on prioritizing the delivery of a one-liner over your child’s life, acknowledge we’re being presented with the consequences of not John McClane-ing it, and...

Join Chris and B as we shoulder check our way to the front of the line for 1996’s “Jingle All the Way.” What's worse than driving from store to store to get that last minute gift on Christmas Eve? Realizing your only motivation is to avoid telling the truth. We smoke up and lower our expectations of father figures to consider whether Sinbad was truly Arnold’s enemy or the product of a stress induc...

Join Chris and B as we dive into the deep end of “Gremlins” from 1984. What's worse than your entire town being attacked by the unclassified creature you’ve just been gifted? Realizing your own parenting (or lack thereof) was to blame. We smoke up and turn the lights down to discuss Mama Peltzer’s murder first and ask questions never approach, consider whether mogwai are aliens or demons with moun...

Join Chris and B as we drop into the original "Predator" with Arnold from 1987. What's worse than barely surviving being hunted in an unforgiving jungle? Learning your evidence serial number is one digit off from the Arch of the Covenant's. We smoke up and bunker down to discuss how the Predator could get exonerated if he had the right lawyer, who would (and should) found "Puns and Muscles" magazi...

Join Chris and B as we bludgeon our way through Simon Pegg's "Shaun of the Dead." What's scarier than a zombie apocalypse? Realizing that it feels like any other day you're late for work. We smoke up and bite down on how all it takes to grow as a person is a zombie apocalypse, how refusing change can mean your death, and postulate on how much safer a world made up of just zombies would be.

Join Chris and B as we rewrite history with 1985's "Back to the Future." What's more terrifying than your father's bully in his prime? Your mother's teenage libido aimed right at you! We smoke up and travel back to discuss the concept of Doc and Marty stuck in a Time Loop, wonder if we can trust Doc with this kind of technology, and lament over the wasted time Marty could have used to move the fre...

Join Chris and B as we relive our childhoods and watch "Toy Story" from 1995. What's weirder than having realizations about Andy's playtime? Having some realHIGHzations about your own childhood while recording this podcast... We smoke up and sit down criss cross applesauce to discuss the angel/devil comparison between Andy and Sid, the horrors that must be involved in new toy "orientation," and Bu...

Join Chris and B as we geek out over the classic movie "The Matrix" from 1999. What's worse than computers enslaving humanity within a computer program? Being removed from that program and knowing you've never technically eaten pizza. We smoke up and download the idea of killing for the "greater good," the possibility that the Agents were programmed by storm troopers, and why saying you "have the...

Join Chris and B as we untangle the horror anthology "Trick 'r Treat." What's more terrifying than a serial-killer principal? The little red riding hood that he's got his sights set on. We smoke up and sink our teeth into Halloween traditions, the importance of a spot-check enforcement system, and the best way to re-escalate a scare after you've already been unmasked.

Join Chris and B as we refill our prescription for Hypnocil and watch Wes Craven's original "Nightmare on Elm Street." What's more terrifying than the same man hunting you down in your dreams night after night? The same man hunting your friends down in their dreams! We smoke out and tuck ourselves in for a nice long chat about Johnny Depp in a blender, compare Freddy to some of his competitors in...

Join Chris and B as we make our way through Denzel Washington's "The Equalizer" from 2014. What's more terrifying than a trained killer with your name on his list? A trained killer, forced out of retirement who can't get back to his book until he crosses your name off his list! We smoke up and break down the blessing and curse of "loving what you do" in this line of work, the importance of making...

Join Chris and B as we get pulled into Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell" from 2009. What's worse than losing the button from your coat? Thinking you had given that damn cursed object away and now you've wasted money on a whole new coat! We smoke up and get dragged down into this camp fest to talk about the myriad of things being poured or shot into Chris Brown's mouth, if the fly bothering you is aski...

Join Chris and B for a very special episode of "BACONATOR? I Barely Knew Her!" where we give Kiefer Sutherland a break and focus on the interminable Kevin Bacon. Was this the most fun the Baconator ever had filming a movie? Or was this one of his greatest regrets? OR WAS IT BOTH?! We smoke up and burrow down into the major romance and bromance envy, introduce the inaugural entry to the Monster Pun...

Join Chris and B as we once again honor our namesake by watching his 1990 film "Flatliners." What could be worse than arrogant young doctors with God complexes dying? Arrogant young doctors dying, then being brought back to life and asserting that they are God. We smoke up and fall deep into the art of negging Julia Roberts, explore the merit of Oliver Platt, and discuss which is the most useless...

Join Chris and B as we share the joy and wonder that is 1993's Jurassic Park. What's more terrifying than a Tyrannosaurus Rex? The malfunctioning animatronic that played it! We smoke up and fall headfirst into what it truly means to "spare no expense," uncover the consistent theme of divorce (in every Jurassic movie), and include some behind the scenes/making of trivia!

Join Chris and B for our first episode, as we talk about Kiefer Sutherland's own "The Lost Boys." Back in 1987, vampires didn't sparkle - hell, they didn't even turn you. Through the cunning use of peer pressure, they got you to turn yourself! We smoke up and break down the plot, vampire lore, and the growing urgency to learn how to do a pull up to save your own life.

Join Chris and B as we delight over John Carpenter's "Halloween." Who knew the 70's could be so scary? Oh wait, yeah, I guess we all did. We smoke up then dive deep into Dr. Loomis' twisted therapy sessions, the art of decorating by Michael Myers, and question if Laurie Strode is Michael Myers' only weakness??

Join Chris and B as we explore Joss Whedon's 2011 movie "Cabin in the Woods." Ever wonder why you're always screaming at people in horror movies for making terrible choices? This movie aims to answer that at every opportunity. We smoke up and dig deep into positive stoner representation, the free will of meat bags, and how to defeat a merman.