Keeper Chat

Do you like to bury small things in the woods, vomit into your children's mouths, listen to ABBA 24/7 and leave your STD's everywhere you go? Are you an American Burying Beetle? Cause they do that.

They are BEARY cute, BEARY interesting, and BEARY INHUMANELY KEPT IN TINY CAGES TO HARVEST THEIR GALLBLADDERS FOR BILE. But also BEARY a man in a bear suit.

Self CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can you do to treat yourself after a tough day at work that doesn't involve raging alcoholism? Good question. We answer: - Zookeeping is a very physically and emotionally difficult job, and part of taking the best care of our animals is taking care of ourselves. Beyond heavy drinking, making sure to get plenty of rest, and drinking plenty of water, what are some oth...

The world's best astronaut is a lil mossy piglet.

THE CURSE IS REAL. This episode is ......a patchwork quilt....of my nightmares. Anyway, the Secretary Bird is really cool. It is the KING of DDR and also Satan, who knew?

Biggest bony fish, bisexual icon, dinner plate with a face, child-killer. MOLA

Where is the beef? It's here. This thing has all of it.

Y'all know whales get us WORKED UP. This is an extra long episode and we get serious and confused and mad. But beluga's have big fat foreheads so it's okay.

The cat that is like an ocelot but not. It can also rocket launch it's entire body 12 feet. Which is insane. Also, add another conspiracy to the list: slim jim's are just old hot dogs someone forgot to refrigerate.

IT'S ALF.

Answering an amazing question from a listener! So, we always complain about the worst zoo visitors.... So we answer, How can you be the best zoo visitor!? What are the do's and don'ts of zoo visits

Hartebeest, it's like Benedict Cumberbatch on all fours.

Wanting to become a keeper and are feeling stuck? Want some advice from two nimrods? Look no further. We don't claim to be experts on anything, but hey we have been there. Interview, resume, and overall keeper life advice.

You didn't ask for it but here it is anyway!!!! BUGS.

We answer not one BUT TWO user submitted questions. Sorta. We kind of aren't qualified to answer one of them. Anyway, have you ever wanted to hear about poop? Cause boy do we have the ep for you.

It's creepy shark time! Who doesn't love some protrusible jaws??!!

The spook continues with those other flying things - vampire bats. They slurp blood, fine, that's cool. They fly, dope. They RUN!??? Bruh, that's terrifying.

It's Spooktober. Let's talk about spooky animals - starting with the Satanic Leaf-Tailed Gecko. It's satanic in appearance only, while we are satanic in all ways.

D. TORT. Bowser jr sux. Desert Tortoise are cool - and ready for the apocolypse.

Chameleon of the sea. Or are chameleons cuttlefish of the land? In any case cuttlefish are insanely smart and whose to say they aren't just stealing our credit scores as we speak?

Okapi! Is it real? Is it a sweater your grandma knitted you? Is butt a potty word? Do we go on like 5 seperate tangents that don't have anything to do with anything? The answers will surprise you....

A QND about Current Events. But uploaded a week after the events were current. Okay, so sue me. We talk extinction, poaching, and murder-for-hire. It's a wild one.

The patrons have spoken! Pseudo-Penis ahoy. Get ready for a hyena...and human biology lesson.

Part 2 of our Zoo special.

We went for it. Why do Zebra when you can do ZOO! Ever wonder how to respond to people who are anti-zoo? Who think animals 'look' sad and haven't read a book since 1910? Well listen up! We tell you how. This is Part 1 of 2.