Just Meaningful Plastic: A DWTS Retrospective

How to describe this one? 1, 2, 3- atrocious. The opposite of atrocious is, of course, Edyta. Praise for the Queen of Zoos, Lady Legwarmer, the Beautiful Swamp Witch, Our City Mouse abounds here because we are who we are. We’re here to give tips on the kicks, just like we always do. Even better than them, though- Jerry, Kenny, and Len are here to give the people what they need in a new edition of...

Welcome back to the disco inferno, you… I’m thinking of a word, and while I can't think of it, I know it’s “*something* hoe”. As usual, it’s chaotic energy as Chris reveals far more personal information than intended and Katy sees red as echoes of her ballroom tragedies reverberate across seasons. And if you put money on an obscure NYC-only musical commercial from the 80s as this week's joke-to-be...

Karma is a b*tch, folks, as is Chris’ computer. But you’d never tell that this was our longest recording session ever, plagued with technical difficulties! Unless you can tell where there’s missing audio, which, um, there definitely isn’t any. And if you’re wondering if Chris will ever record a pod in a house with three kids under 5 again, the answer is a resounding teeheehee. But enjoy some SPECI...

If we don’t write a proper description, WE could be going home. If we don’t keep beating a dead horse, WE could be going home. If we don’t avoid saying things that could be considered slanderous, WE could be going home. If we don’t stan a middle-aged woman and/or psychoanalyze her, WE could be going home. If you don’t start the episode and we don’t end this bit right now, WE could be going home. F...

Did you forget something? Yes: Cloris! And now that she’s been found, everyone is losing their minds, Chris and Katy included. Well, mostly Chris. His brain is off the rails. Katy is just leading him away from Diana the Musical and toward the star of DWTS, edition 7, Kim K! There may be a fight brewing about her, but at least there is one person they can agree upon- oh, Oprah! Follow us on Twitter...

The streak is over- DWTS 7! It’s week 7, or season 7 if you speak correctly, and that means “Does Katy Know These Celebrities?” returns, this time with added echo effect! More than usual, Katy either knows the people or makes good guesses. Or maybe it just feels that way and it's just as rough as usual. And the question is finally answered- how is Brooke Burke famous beyond being a future host of...

Heads up, golden girls and jive daddies! The finale of Dancing with the Stars’ sixth season is here, and Edyta is in a finale! That’s right, the lone figure on the DWTS Mt. Rushmore finally gets to do a freestyle, and she does what many a pro has done. Fortunately, she doesn’t speak the dreaded word (disco). But Chris will, and he and Katy will hash out many an argument they’ve had in finales past...

Okay. Chris knows this episode is unlistenable if you don’t know or care about Diana the Musical. Don’t blame him, Charles; tame him, Charles! Anyway, it’s the semi-finals of DWTS6 and it’s time to be surprised about how good it is? It’s good! Really! And it all might be thanks to either Edyta or Kristi. Who is the titular pretty, pretty girl? It’s a mystery! Follow us on Twitter @JMPPod , on Face...

Conjure pictures of Karina doing a cha-cha in a caftan or Kristi jumping in a jive, because this episode of JMP has that and more! Chris and Katy talk about arm injuries, the joy that is Jason Taylor, and the arrival of real sparkle in DanceCenter. Most importantly, the panthra queen has returned to her status of icon of the ballroom. Daddy, we love Edyta! And please, don’t leave any reviews this...

Cristiàn, what are you doing? We still have a dance to learn. Follow us on Twitter @JMPPod , on Facebook at Just Meaningful Plastic , or on Instagram at @jmp.pod Podcast art: Kat Fey Music: "Mister Capone" by Alex Khaskin

Some equations from your favorite DWTS mathematicians: Katy + Jonathan = True Love Steve Gutenberg + Genuine Charm = America’s newest Sweetheart Kristi + Dancing = 9s = World domination Mario + A Beach - A Shirt = Yes DWTS6 - Adam Carrolla = A better, happier JMP (but like the limit, this doesn't exist) Follow us on Twitter @JMPPod , on Facebook at Just Meaningful Plastic , or on Instagram at @jmp...

The most beautiful woman in the world is here to grace Dancing with the Stars with her presence. No, not Katy, although that is a good guess. Ladies and gentlemen, Kristi Yamaguchi is here, and Chris and Katy are primed to rhapsodize about her. They would like to stare at her for an hour if possible. There are other things that happened, too, like the fact that Chris loves a classy older woman or...

Your hoSTs are back for a brand new 2008 season of DWTS! It is season six, and just like the previous one, the men are here to disappoint with their premiere. When only two dances impress Chris and Katy, you know it’s off to a good start. Luckily, there’s a very nice man who is hot and plays football to win them over, and another Mario with Karina (even if Katy is ready to ask for a Sophie’s Choic...

New year, new us, new cast, same shenanigans! “Does Katy Know These Celebrities?” finally returns, as Katy and Chris are about to dive into Dancing with the Stars’ sixth season. As usual, Katy muddles her way through the top-tier stars of 2008, and she’s as accurate as ever. Meanwhile, Chris tests the limits of how many times he can say the word “alright”. Not that we would encourage games of this...

Have you come to this place for magic? Somehow does heartbreak feel good in a place like this? Do stories feel perfect and powerful here? Well, then this is the place for you to drop the mirrorball for 2022, because Chris, Katy, and Megan are here to retrospect themselves! The full JMP-QSR fam has gathered to celebrate the pod’s birthday and to ring in the new year. They share some of their favori...

It’s a quickstep reaction tonight! Chris and Katy are ready to jazz it up and have themselves a ball talking about Steven Spielberg’s new adaptation of West Side Story. Recorded shortly after they both saw it, your star-crossed hosts freely share their initial feelings about the movie. Did they like it? Is Rachel Zegler a star? Can “I Feel Pretty” finally win over Katy? Is the prostitute obviously...

RIP in the most peace, Stephen Sondheim. No jokes, just grief. There are jokes in the episode, there's movie speculation, whatever, but Chris still doesn't have it in him to write much more than that. And go see Spielberg's West Side Story, now in theaters! The reaction Chris talks about: https://griefbacon.substack.com/p/a-fragment-of-the-day Follow us on Twitter @JMPPod , on Facebook at Just Mea...

Play it cool, boys, because Katy and Chris are giving out a CJMPT in this episode. What is that? You’ll have to listen to find out! Why wouldn’t you anyway, because it’s West Side Story! In this second episode of WSS Month, it’s Act 2 of the original film, and Katy has a scalding hot taek that is actually about as basic as you can get. Oh, and Chris basically raves about “America” again, but this...

It’s December, so it is time to talk about the most anticipated cinematic musical event since CATS (2019): West Side Story! For the first week of a month dedicated to the release of Spielberg’s remake, we are talking about the 1961 original! Katy and Chris break down Act 1 of the film that means so much to them, with some really spicy takes. Of course they start with 9 minutes about Wicked, and th...

Captain America vs. Iron Man. What makes a gay anthem. How famous judges should be. Leaving voice mails. Horrific audio quality. Lady Gaga’s sexuality. That one time Tyra pretended to have rabies. All that and more. It’s the finale. Enjoy it. What more do you want from us? Follow us on Twitter @JMPPod , on Facebook at Just Meaningful Plastic , or on Instagram at @jmp.pod Podcast art: Kat Fey Music...

Dear middle schoolers who listen to us: we love you, we support you, and we hope you enjoyed the semi-finals of DWTS 30! It is quite a time to be alive, and the Queens of the Night have a lot of feelings on the highs and lows. It’s a very emotional night full of good audio content like sign language. There are a lot of tears to be shed and Cody Rigsbys to be ripped to shreds, so make that night pi...

We are all perfectly hinged for Miss Jackson! Season 30 has hit the quarterfinals with half the cast in tow, and Katy and Megan say much of what you’d expect. Should you still listen, even if you know their two queens and their mortal enemy? Of course you should! Otherwise, you would miss some Internet bullying, things that give Cher, words that start with the letter F, and so much more dumb stuff...

Why is Chris talking about the 80th and 90th birthday concerts for Stephen Sondheim? Why is Katy confusing celebrity wines and underestimating values? Because they don't really care to wrap up their thoughts on DWTS' fifth season! They're disorganized, out of sorts, and honestly, isn't that when your hosts are more fun? Following that, they give an update on the podcast schedule, where they'r...

The three queens of the night are here for Queen night, and they are bringing a real dark energy to the table. Nobody is feeling like a champion after this episode of DWTS, and there are only murders in this building. A terrible bottom two, horrible production mistakes, the audacity Queen had in making the garbage Oscar-winning Bohemian Rhapsody … All you’re going to hear is radio gag-worthy. Foll...

Hey, doll enthusiasts! It's the season 5 finale of Dancing with the Stars , and uh oh. Things go belly-up from the word go. But at least there is talk of the upcoming holiday season, coffee orders, Mario Lopez and Emmitt Smith, Julianne Hough's wine, Desperate Housewives , and as much as Chris and Katy can muster that's not this final. Come for the silly digressions, stay for the answer to th...