Jane Austen Stories

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Jane Austen Stories is the new show from the Noiser podcast network, narrated by Dame Julie Andrews. Season One begins with Julie reading an all-time classic of English literature, Pride and Prejudice, in its original masterful form. Join us twice a week as we walk grand estates, take tea with well-dressed gentlewomen, and enter ballrooms to dance with the great and good of the county. But in this tranquil corner of England, not everything is quite as it appears... Can our heroine Elizabeth navigate a world of secrets and simmering passions? Can the Bennet family avoid scandal and destitution?...

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Episodes

[S3E40] The Test 24.10.2019 48:02

Here it is, the scariest film of the decade. The Test is a masterclass of terror, with a romance so unsettling that it may put you off men who wear yellow ties forever.

[S3E39] Drop Dead Fred 17.10.2019 46:15

We really, really wanted to like it.

[S3E38] All About Steve LIVE 09.10.2019 59:06

Live from the She Makes Me Laugh Comedy Festival at The People's Improv Theater, we dragged 2009's All About Steve, a movie which suggests that pre-Jackson Maine Bradley Cooper is worth looking at.

[S3E37] Employee of the Month 02.10.2019 39:44

The remake of There's Something About Mary absolutely no one asked for.

[S3E36] Eat Pray Love 27.09.2019 41:03

This movie is only 4 minutes shorter than The Master.

[S3E35] The D Train 11.09.2019 44:49

We didn't think we'd be covering a film with an Oscar-worthy performance on this podcast either. The D Train is bad, don't worry about it. But it's badness should be studied. We need to get to the bottom of this.

[S3E34] The Feels 05.09.2019 40:44

This week on the podcast, we tried our best to stay interested in the mumblecore dud The Feels, a movie that only pretends to care about the female orgasm.

[S3E33] Accidental Love 29.08.2019 45:59

David O. Russell never wanted this film to be released. We totally understand why.

[S3E32] What's Your Number? 20.08.2019 49:37

Masterpiece.

[S3E31] Shallow Hal (Milly Tamarez) 07.08.2019 58:57

For our 100th episode, we subjected the hilarious Milly Tamarez (@MillyTamarez) to 2001's Shallow Hal, a movie that expects us to believe that Tony Robbins could ever be a feminist.

[S3E30] It's Pat 31.07.2019 53:16

We lost our minds watching 1994's It's Pat and this recording was done in our padded cell.

Body of Evidence (with Melissa Rocha) 30.07.2019 42:47

This month we are joined by comedian Melissa Rocha (@melisshious) for a very special public episode of our erotic thriller podcast IN THE SM(U)T. Our movie this month is 1993's Body of Evidence, a dreary thriller that tries too hard to be sexy and wastes the very well-endowed Willem Dafoe in one of his worst roles. Madonna is there also, for some reason. The costume designer obviously hated her. Y...

[S3E29] The Ugly Truth (with SallyAnn Hall) 27.07.2019 51:24

This week we had hilarious comedian SallyAnn Hall on to tackle the gigantic mess that is 2009's The Ugly Truth.follow @funnysallyann on twitter!

[S3E28] Love Potion No.9 18.07.2019 45:59

1992's Love Potion No. 9 is a bad movie that was built to be loved. It introduced the world to Sandra Bullock's charms. It also asked us to tolerate Tate Donovan, and we begrudgingly obliged.

[S3E27] Penelope 10.07.2019 40:20

Who in their right mind wouldn't marry Christina Ricci?

[S3E26] There's Something About Mary 04.07.2019 59:18

This week, declare your independence from the idea that 1998's There's Something About Mary is funny.

[S3E25] You Got Served 27.06.2019 48:32

(announcer voice) What happens when horrible direction, wooden acting, and misogyny collide?

[S3E24] Chasing Papi 20.06.2019 41:25

We wanted to like this movie but it didn't like us back.

[S3E23] I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry 12.06.2019 55:06

This episode is not going to go the way you expect, but yes, we hate it.

[S3E22] I Think I Love My Wife 06.06.2019 1:01:30

We think we hate this movie. 2007 was a very, very long time ago.

[S3E21] Guess Who 29.05.2019 56:04

We're not wild about the original, but this... this is a mess.

[S3E20] Laws of Attraction 22.05.2019 39:01

We think... Julianne Moore needed to buy a summer home.

[S3E19] Dirty Love 15.05.2019 46:03

This is somehow a movie. It has actors in it. It was reviewed by Roger Ebert, which means that he must have seen it in a theater. But despite the overwhelming evidence (like the fact that we watched it), we are unsure as to whether or not this is a real thing that exists. Investigate with us.

[S3E18] City of Angels 07.05.2019 41:18

This week, Jourdain and Kyle try to make sense of the 1998 remake to the Wim Wenders classic, Wings of Desire. It turns out, there's not much sense to be made of it.

[S3E17] Forever My Girl 01.05.2019 41:45

Jessica Rothe deserves more horror movies, action, a co-star who has presence, etc. Forever My Girl is not good enough for her.