Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

...you don't want to know. Honestly, you don't. Plus PE with Lee Hardliwell - follow him @PEWithLee Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Also - American Mailboxes! Antibiotics! And we launch the thrilling summer read: Count Spatula... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ben and Jerry's have waded in on the migrant situation. And we share more Celebrity Stools. I know. I'm very sorry. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Donald Trump wants to increase water consumption in the country that is the second-biggest consumer of water, because he has trouble rinsing his hair. Uh yup ok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Morning! It's too hot for the gym, so I think I'll drink cocktails instead. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have some GREAT TIPS, along with the HOTTEST DATES from Toby Young's new dating site. Plus, the utter disgrace of PPE procurement contracts as revealed by YorkshireBylines. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Uh, I think I covered everything in the title. Apart from charity shop self-help books. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Morality in video games, pluuuuuus the Developers' Charter and IT'S A DUCK OK Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to enhance your pipi ALL NATURAL SUPPLEMENTS V1AGRA C1AL1S etc etc ohhhhh the sodding Male Ego, plus we meet the Moto Duck. The what? Oh, just listen. x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Professor Christine Nicol discusses whether fish feel pain or not, and we have a fun new workout with mega-not-depressed fitness coach, Lee Hardleywell. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being a short essay on why comedy is in such a parlous state right now. I mean, it isn't. But it's been... Oh, just listen to the damn thing. Also - pineapples, pears, and beansprouts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which we look at tory bungs, and ask ourselves - are they big enough? Jacob Rees-Mogg sings a charming job advert, and OMG THANKS PATREONS xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exploring the funtime wackadoo claims of Dr Stella Immanuel, the woman Trump describes as 'impressive'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, um, you will hear sounds you never knew you needed to hear before. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

YOU PODCASTERS YOU ARE ALL ZE SAME Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's get the nation fighting-fit, Boris Johnson / Joe Wicks-style! Plus Dora Dale on Jack Charlton, and we ask for your REVENGE STORIES. Email yours to nottoday at swanburst dot com x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hostage selfies, Golden Visas (which sounds really horrifically euphemistic) and a bonus song because I felt guilty. xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Evy Lynch drops by to talk about The Prince of Persia, and what the game - nay, the man, Prince Dastan - meant to her. Plus some Corona Campaigning gone awry... Have a good weekend! xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Look, you probably can't handle the truthing I'm doing in this episode. We'll chew through the movie memorabilia and Dora Dale talking to Martin Kelner about Dame Vera Lynn, but there is a WAR GOING ON, and it's happening ON TV RIGHT NOW and up til now, we just COULDN'T SEE IT with our BLINKERED LITTLE EYES Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

PLUS! Professor Christine Nicol talks about The Good Kind Of Animal Tourism - yes, there totally IS SOME. And Lord of the Rings thievery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bless. Plus That's Lovely, and film memorabilialols. xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's short but sweet. Plus, I bloody love the Grimsby Telegraph. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bubonic plague lols, Apple's windfalls, The Men Who Love Amol, and yes. The new Drake single is out. Bon weekend! xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#FreeBritney, why hayfever is so bad (clue: MEN), and Dave Yapp, my cousin, shares some delightfully filthy and esoteric audio from his unique collection. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Professor Christine Nicol shows us how the avians don't just squawk the squawk. Plus global fertility rates, and why they're bad BUT REALLY ARE THEY and LLAMA NEWS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.