It's Christmastown

We started DATING THE DELANEYS ( 2022 ), but:   Do you know how loud jai alai is? ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE   Wink! ... Wine Clown (taupe) ... Rom-rom, with jokes ... Jennifer Barrow Appreciation Station ...   Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO   Cast Rundown ... McNamara nostalgia ... Restorative justice f...

Uproxx's VINCE MANCINI gave us a buzz to talk CUT, COLOR, MURDER ( 2022 ), but:   Forensics can wait for the pageant ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE   All things seamy, guest starring Sutton Niekro ... Sopranos vs. Hallmark podcasting ... Vince's Hallmark bona fides ... Gilmore Girls comp ... Muted romance, many speakers ... Lego...

CHARLES STAR is remanded to WALKING THE DOG ( 2017 ) and arguing public-use law via:   Circuit court bingo (wait for applause) ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Free legal advice! ... Reporters who don't vote ... Best lawed plans ... Pet adoption kickbacks ... Blue-collar and moppet dogs ... Cast Rundown ... Unsolicited AARP discount...

ANDY LEVY comes out of retirement and needs A CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS with THE CHRISTMAS COACH ( 2022 ), all that plus:   Highlights and analysis from Cousin Peter. THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   The New Abnormal, an unserious podcast ... Pink Slime Concentrate Christmas ... Treacly AND bland ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge...

PAT BLANCHFIELD puts the death drive on autopilot to consider (with) us THE PERFECT PAIRING ( 2022 ), plus:   It's no big deal, it's just amnesia! THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Meet Pat Blanchfield! ... CGI soufflé ... Concussed? Take two Sauternes and one nap ... Pat's Brechtian cockfight Hallmark prom night ... Nordstrom piano ......

We're carbo-loading for a WEDDING EVERY WEEKEND ( 2020 ) but we're breaking down on the: The Smelts-to-Dealts Pipeline … "I'm a sourdough guy" …   THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   "Four Weddings and a [Car] Restoration" ... Pure, high-concept Hallmark ... Joel McHale + Weezer = Joel Campbell ... Recalling Episode 019 - The Quotable Gus...

The Daily Beast's ASAWIN SUEBSAENG joins us to observe BUTLERS IN LOVE ( 2022 ) and ask: Did you hear when the butt went "Bwaammp"? THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Violating dibs ... A Desperate Housewives thing ... Go to bed, Ryan Murphy ... Did the nerds hear about this movie?   Break: "Clue, Main Theme" by John Morris PART TWO   Cas...

Writer/activist MAURA QUINT returns for A KISS BEFORE CHRISTMAS ( 2021 ), to learn:   Wishmaster-ass Santa Claus ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   A singular Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Welcome to Nog Chat ... The Jewish BS starts early ... Whoopie Pies, Whippy Dip ... Is nog a prank? ... Christmas is a dare festival ... Mor...

ZACK HANDLEN of the AV Club (and more) joins us, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT ( 2021 ), to learn:   This is our job, and we're doing our job ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   The Irish BS starts early ... All foreign accents are the same ... Lavish Zack intro ... Defending "Pusher" ... Trusting reviewers ... Angry Walking Dead fans ... Need...

WILL LEITCH spikes this show into THE TURKEY BOWL ( 2019 ) and gets us community service watching: The Barry Switzer Showcase ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Not a baking mystery ... It's not it! ... Too many penises and butts within two minutes ... A solid forever runtime ... A tame Old School, a risqué Hallmark ... No darkness or...

TEASER: Thanksgiving, 2031: A Reckoning Everyone's not murdered, and nothing is magnetic ... THEME: " Dead Man's Party ," by Oingo Boingo PART ONE: All Our Troubles Are Gone Welcome back to Will Leitch ... No plugs ... Vaccinated child blood ... Mask affinity ... Can there be a pandemic off-ramp? ... Torn pandemic bicep ... You just have a bad body now ... Without shared struggle, there is no shar...

We get looped into a TIMELESS LOVE ( 2019 ) and forget our kids to: Find out what your mom's coffin would be like! THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Flexing some podcast muscles ... Embarrassing personal life statement ... Accidentally watching Candace Cameron movies ... Spousal and child loss is upsetting ... Maudlin/Frothy knob ... Eff...

We FOLLOW OUR HEART ( 2020 ) to Mountain View, Arkansas and: It's good to not be entertained ...   THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   We're back! We're back! ... Workin' pieless before vacation ... Is this a mystery? ... Malick-inflected TV Amish ... Enough that Pie Would Remark On It ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... St...

SARA KATE WILKINSON takes us CRASHING THROUGH THE SNOW ( 2021 ) and:   We kept the shirt on, and we liked it ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Kasem intro ... You get $20, but we never speak again ... The Edge ... "Back to normal and fine" ... A five-tool movie ... Cast rundown: Todd Burpo's doctor and Canadian treasures ... The Expo...

SARAH D. BUNTING joins BRANDI BROWN to solve CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: A PUZZLE TO DIE FOR ( 2019 ), starting with:   A getting-to-be-so-driven exercise ... Don't look at the NY Magazine's art critic's life ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   Other podcasts ... Welcome, Brandi and Sarah D. B-b-b-b-bunting ... The ironic-to-sincere Bosch pro...

NPR's LINDA HOLMES joins TARA ARIANO in saying YOU HAD ME AT ALOHA ( 2021 ) and:   Pick up the phone and pod. What's so difficult? Just pick up the phone and pod. THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE   The GOAT Lady ... Linda's Hallmark cred ... Jack Wagner Appreciation Station ... Expanding the Hallmark humane universe ... Kissing and plasti...

MAURA QUINT returns and we DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART ( 2021 ) for:   Editing IMDB to include more scared priests ... THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome back Maura ... Flip this host ... No song ... Noom brainwashing ... "Advantage Monthly" ... New York Sports Club Magazine ... You were going to be kidnapped ... Reviewing Ohio commu...

We're adding A DASH OF LOVE ( 2017 ) and:   We're going to pass on the rolls. THEME: THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel ... Brendan Penny heat check ... Barely a movie ... Wasted Gilpin ... Previously a book? ... Ecce Homo ... Real-movie themes ... Too false, weird and murky ... Cast Rundown ......

We're the next big thing, and we're in the BEVERLY HILLS WEDDING ( 2021 ) and:   We had to cancel the Beverly Hills wedding. THEME: "The Rockford Files," by Mike Post PART ONE Dave is baking evasive ... THE Beverly Hills wedding ... Dan Smith, BYU ... Edited by Valentine's, 2022 ... Go balls out ... Cast rundown, callbacks and The Hume Cronins ... The Expositional Challenge ... False twist expecta...

SARA KATE WILKINSON and MAURA QUINT ice over CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS ( 2020 ) and:   Gabe had to go live on the cranberry farm THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE We bought the farm! ... Meet Maura ... Losing your Hallmark virginity ... A manifestation of a sick society ... The Don Jr. Face Spectrum ... Canadian cocaine ... Children shouldn't ic...

We speak to the dead for A NASHVILLE CHRISTMAS CAROL ( 2020 ) and:   We are doing this cold open live ... The Francesa Voice ... Four letters, starts with D THEME: " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Buster Poindexter ... Show business ... Terry Benedict's podcast ... The Elliot Gould of this podcast ... Podcast crisis hotline ... Defenseless befor...

We get handsome and competent with THE CHRISTMAS HOUSE ( 2020 ) and: Treat Williams is not in The Substitute ... It's natural and OK to talk about Treat Williams ... Wrong movie ... Daybrooding ... Sniper   THEME:  " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Handsome Podcast ... Whaddaya want, it's good ... Podcast business ... The shortcomings of "Dave an...

BRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER ( 2017 ) and: A message about our namechange. THEME:  " Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas ," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ... Grandma troll wants the cusses ... Comic books and Hubert Humphrey   Break: " Hubert Humphrey ,"...

TARA ARIANO and SARAH D. BUNTING take a trip to NORTHPOLE ( 2014 ) and: Robots, they're just like us ... Classic Tudyk ... THEME ... Joe E. Tata ... Plugs! ... Sequel book ... No Swank ... "Enough" ... Dina Meyer ... Ridgewood, NJ. 07450 ... Pleasantly surprised ... Accidentally in Love ... Paula Abdul's "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" number ... The Mac Rangers ... Wanting to talk about Fastlane ......

CASEY TAYLOR joins us and SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED for THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED (2018) and : A tedious audio warning ... We are going to Pueblo! ... THEME ... Boofed the intro ... Meet Casey Taylor ... Elite Christian postal detectives ... Casey was USPS ... Red flags ... Never be friends with supervisors ... The Signed, Sealed, Delivered universe ... Cast rundown ... Haywith guy or Dorman guy ......