Investigative Selfism

Since my whole second season is on discomfort, it’s time for an important reminder. Taking care of ourselves when we’re moving through discomfort is not a luxury. We can live without luxuries but we can’t go on if we’re constantly burned out. Here’s my reminder on why it’s important to be kind to ourselves when things are tough and how certain things that seem unimportant become the base for us to...

"The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships." If you’ve ever had a bad day (a bad week? a bad month?) because of one single person, you know how true it is. So if relationships are at the cornerstone of how we feel, how can we improve this area of our lives? How can we deconstruct what there is to be improved (or, rather, worked on) in the first place? In my episode, I summarise...

I understand it's not enough to say "just normalise discomfort". OK, cool, but how do we do that? What can help us to take that uncomfortable action? Luckily, there are some practical tips here. In my previous episode , I was all about "be OK with discomfort!", "understand why it's so important to choose your discomforts wisely!" In this episode, I quickly share a strange metaphor and then move to...

This is a message I'd like to hear as the year is ending, as a year is starting, or on any other day. In my episode, I dive more deeply into why it's so valuable to normalise discomfort in our lives. Or, rather, why it's important to CHOOSE it. It sounds weird, I know. But I have wonderful quotes and some stories for you that I know will be worthy of your time.  

After a long break, I'm very excited to tell you that my podcast is back. The learning and unlearning didn't stop, nor did my desire to share everything with you. I'm very excited to dive more deeply into a number of topics, but first - a wrap-up of my first season with a (very unsexy, oh my!) description of what waits ahead. My apologies for the ambiance sounds: I was filming this during my trave...

To respond with empathy might be our intention but it's not as easy it might seem. Our busy and caring minds tend to jump to so many potential responses, yet we have to be aware that not all of them are what creates that meaningful connection. So what is an empathetic response and what are the common mistakes we make? Find all the resources I mention in my episode here: https://wp.me/p1WQjD-JZ

Deep listening is a thing: if you've ever felt that you weren't truly seen in a conversation then you know it's real. How can we improve our listening skills? What frameworks and reminders can we use? I have some suggestions for you. That's a mix of what psychology, Buddhist psychology, and nonviolent communication point to. A disclaimer: although they might sound like simple tools, they are NOT e...

Fear is a companion we'll always have.  How we live with that companion is a choice: we can do that in ways that don't serve us and we can put conscious effort to manage our minds just a little bit better.  In my episode (which I start with a ridiculous personal story!), I share several approaches that can help you befriend your fears. Not to negate or minimise them, but to accept them,...

Sometimes, the way to encourage yourself is to...discourage yourself! Among so many reminders to "keep on going", we also need reminders to quit the thing that's wrong for us. This podcast episode is exactly that: it's a kind reminder that we can allow ourselves to quit the things that don't serve us anymore. We can put the tool of quitting into our personal development toolbox.  Here's a qui...

Why? Because it ties so nicely into so many topics I've already covered in my podcast and articles. But more importantly, because it's an incredibly powerful framework to use. To think about integrity can be extremely useful when you feel that "something's wrong." If we take emotions as signals - as we should! - one of the ways to analyse them can be asking yourself a simple yet powerful question:...

What's the difference between "I DID something bad" and "I AM bad?" Turns out, it's a huge one. "I did something bad" describes a behaviour. That's guilt. "I am bad" focuses on the self. That's shame. The price of not realising the difference between these two concepts - that we sometimes use interchangeably, right? - can be a life of misery. So, I ask: What does shame correlate with? What's the d...

(How to go from seeing a boring Excel course as something exciting?) We all know it's not enough to say "Just take that action!" - if anything, an encouragement like this can sound rather annoying. ("Thanks, cool, yes, I'll do it now, since you've said it...") To feel that momentum, we need much more. So what is that exactly? To deconstruct this concept is a monumental task ("I need some momentum...

A warning: this is a painful reflection exercise. Another warning:  it can result in meaningful change. What I talk about in my episode is the price of inaction. It's a simple concept - that comes with that painful reflection exercise - that allows us to better imagine what the hidden cost of not taking a risk is. Neurolinguistic programming would say that our decisions can have one of the fo...

If you've ever heard someone brag about a new healthy habit they have formed recently you probably wanted to roll your eyes (at least a bit). Yes yes, habits are very important. But they truly are, and that's why we need to talk about them. Habits can either serve us or reinforce our limiting beliefs. They can also help us establish our identity if we're willing to truly commit to pursuing our cur...

You know those times when someone's driving you crazy? When your self-image of a kind and empathetic person is being tested? Yep, we've all had those. The bad news is that there's no shortcut here. To respond mindfully can be pretty damn hard sometimes. The good news is that it's something we can work on, and it's absolutely rewarding. In this episode, I present several tactics for specifically th...

"No mud, no lotus" - this might not be the prettiest Buddhist metaphor but man it is true! This pandemic has sucked in many ways, and there's no magical metaphor or quote to make it go away. What we can do, however, is to realise how much we have learned during it and because of it. We should definitely appreciate that new knowledge: precisely because we have gained it through such a painful exper...

The work we do on ourselves and with ourselves is extremely important. But how can we bring that mindfulness, that empathy, that deep listening, and thoughtfulness to work? I'd say, it's not easy. And your effort alone isn't enough. Yet there is a technique I'd like to share with you. It's called adopting a leader's mindset - check it out! Actually, don't JUST check it out: use it and see what hap...

This is the last episode of Watch Your Language!, a three-part series within this podcast. First, we have learned about the importance of talking to ourselves with compassion. Then, we acknowledged that we can choose to use empowering language instead of disempowering language.  Now, it's time to start using the language of action! "I might listen to this episode..." -- "I WILL listen to this...

"I would like to quit my job but I can't."  "I just can't wake up early." If you've ever found yourself feeling helpless and powerless, this episode is for you. Interestingly, there are tiny ways in which we give up that power. It's truly surprising how it happens. Can we notice these disempowering patterns in our language? Can we change them? The answer is YES! Why change them? Because it's...

Am I gonna live my whole life without having ever truly befriended myself? A lack of compassion towards ourselves is no joke. It’s not a pleasant way to live. Constant negative self-regulation, playing small and seeing anything that didn’t go “how it was supposed to go” as a failure serves no purpose. It's not shameful to do it but we definitely don’t need to tolerate it. We need to take care of o...

Ah, the good old Buddhist saying: You’re already perfect. And there’s space for improvement! This is what Investigative Selfism is about. In this episode, I explain to you what you can expect from this podcast and what my take on “the project of our lives” is. You can read more about that "project" here: https://investigativeselfism.com/ 

In this episode, I reveal to you why my podcast has such a lengthy title and what I will be exploring in my upcoming episodes. Ah, but let me tell you right away: it will be topics on mindfulness, leadership, and personal development!