Inappropriate Conversations

A common stereotype is that athletes and coaches are reactionary "dumb jocks" who only stir up trouble in a school environment.  I have personally experienced the exact opposite, which is not to say that either stereotype is true.  I openly wonder how racism functions within those assumptions and what it says about us if we don't even notice. Different Drummer: Jim Valvano

Over the past hundred years, film is by far the most significant form of art.  As a new medium, this probably goes without saying.  It is also true when considering artistic achievement within the realm of commerce or entertainment.  Movies re-established a balance that hasn't been true in music since what we call "classical" today was actually "pop" for its time.  Like music, films of all kinds h...

When I first heard The Electrics' song "Party Goin' On Upstairs" on a bargain bin CD, the expression "RSVP" kept running through my head.  Some Christians, and some non-Christians, imply that Jesus places a large blockade in front of heaven's gate.  For them, the concept of a narrow way means that the path is hidden and the savior's calling is cryptic.  Actually, Jesus is quite clear about the obv...

In order to understand everything we experience as humans, I believe there are four distinct types of knowledge.  Two are obvious, and perhaps the other two are controversial.  The fact is that one of the most common questions of all -- "do I exist?" -- is among the most difficult to prove.  This is particularly true if you only give yourself half a chance. Different Drummer: Joan Girardi

I try not to be hypocritical about hypocrisy.  My feelings are too intense, though, to let some stuff go.  The more responsibility you have, whether an elected government official or a lead cashier in a retail store, the more important it is to manage intensity properly while avoiding short-sighted double standards.  For Christians, it has a lot to do with focusing on relationships and understandi...

Monogamy is not just a good idea in the sense we often hear about democracy or capitalism, with it being the "best system among many flawed choices."  From a purely sexual perspective, a deeply committed relationship is the best way to explore all that human sexuality has to offer.  The opposite approach is to merely skim the surface, and changing the topography might seem like a reasonable way to...

Almost everything wrong with masculinity today can be described by the fear of being "found out."  Sexual aggression is often a front for homophobia. Bullying is often an attempt to use a seeming boldness and bluntness to cover for the fear of weakness.  This blunt-force macho nonsense does not reveal men at their best; it reveals our very worst. Different Drummer: John Eldredge

Friendship is not limited or dictated by gender.  Factors far more important than sexual organs should determine whether two people consider themselves to be in a platonic partnership.  Decades of experiences have shown me that keeping inter-sexual friendships sacred provides a much deeper connection than any of the "with benefits" or "more than a friend" concepts that we frankly ought to reject....

Perhaps we have too much of a black-and-white perspective on what Martin Luther King, Jr. was saying when he urged us to elevate "content of character" above "color of skin" in his 1963 speech.  No doubt, he was talking about racial injustice, but our insensitivity is much broader than that.  It isn't any better to judge people based on other select things we disagree with or disapprove of -- like...

Films made for television between 1967-1976: Run a Crooked Mile, The Longest Hundred Miles, Shadow Over Elveron, Probe (Search), The Stranger, City Beneath the Sea, Vanished, Hunter, Duel, Brian's Song, A Cold Night's Death (Chill Factor), Trilogy of Terror, A Short Walk to Daylight, Go Ask Alice, The Man Without a Country, Death Race, Trapped, The Morning After. Different Drummer: Dan Carlin Comm...

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?  No, and the same applies to family.  For me, the cryptic lyrics to a song so often sung on New Year's Eve has extra meaning because the day itself recalls loved ones who have gone too soon and left us behind.  Sorry, but it is a struggle for me to look at this time of year without wrestling with regrets. Different Drummer: Tony Pucci T...

The impeachment of Bill Clinton near the end of his presidency was one of the most embarrassing moments in the history of the United States government.  The president virtually declared that he couldn't define the word "is."  More than 200 representatives in Congress demonstrated a weak grasp of the word "other."  Millions of dollars were wasted on an assumption that a majority of American voters...

It's ironic, but some of the same people who believe in confession and accountability reject any notion of a right to privacy.  Without some sense of privacy, though, you cannot have true intimacy. And without intimacy, all relationships suffer - among family members, between friends, and with God. Different Drummer: Drew Pinsky

Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas often generate family traditions.  At its best, the nostalgia of childhood forms a bond of memories that lasts a lifetime.  For me, a sheet of paper folded like a triangle has spun across four decades now, resting on nothing less than the edge of brotherhood. Different Drummer: Keith Jackson Yes, the tabletop looks like a basketball court rather than a foot...

Plenty of evidence suggests that those who argue the loudest about homosexuality are not able to explain what it is.  Perhaps it is human nature to lash out in fear against things we don't understand, but that is certainly not a proper Christian response.  Bullying and marginalizing people is not what Jesus would do.  Knowing how that fact conflicts with the actions of many Christians does not mak...

It's interesting to see how pro-choice friends react when I define abortion as the killing of an unborn child.  It is also interesting to observe the reaction of pro-life friends when I suggest that such a killing isn't necessarily or always "unjust."  Obviously, we have to clear up a few things before we can even define the word abortion, much less deal with the issue. Different Drummer: Judith J...

Arguments against the Electoral College assign too much importance to the "popular vote" and too little importance to the "state" part of the United States of America. In a landslide led by the most populous parts of the country, as few as a dozen states could sway an election within the Electoral College. How few states would it be in a system based solely on popular vote? Before you answer, reme...

Halloween has always been about kids dressing in costumes and collecting candy, right?  As I got older, the holiday was more about listening to the music of departed musicians and sharing stories with a close group of friends.  Is something inherently evil about October 31st? Or does the conservative backlash against Halloween actually do the devil's bidding by publicizing Satanism more than any H...

Time to respond to feedback for the first time, and certainly not the last.  The P's and Q's are your points and questions: excellent ideas for me to consider ... hopefully with adequate answers.  Thanks! Different Drummer: Hank Hanegraaff

Memory separates me from many of my friends and peers. It's not just that I have strong recollections of past events. I also remember at great detail some events that others do not recall at all, except perhaps with a vague sense of satisfaction or regret.  Well, if I've told you that I would remember you, I meant it. Always. Different Drummer: Alain Resnais

Banned Books Week is an annual event that draws much needed attention on the freedom to read or even really the freedom to think. We all should stand up when schools are pressured to prevent students from reading To Kill a Mockingbird, particularly in cases where "concerned parents" believe they are opposing racism and injustice by banning a book that would accomplish more by being read.  Are we t...

Continuing from last week, prayer may be the best example of establishing religion. From a Christian perspective, if your prayers "in no way establish a religion" then you are not praying. So, does a "pledge of allegiance" to God establish religion?  Never mind, Jesus explicitly warns against such public declarations in the Gospel according to Saint Matthew. Different Drummer: Matthew

With a strong Biblical foundation, I have a theory that most prayers at public events like high school football games or graduation ceremonies have more to do with the speaker than God. If you only bow your head to follow a spoken prayer led by someone on a public address system, are you really genuinely praying? I believe prayer is much more than that. Different Drummer: Andy Partridge

If we are serious about free market capitalism, then we shouldn't be name-calling or establishing barriers to the free exchange of opinions and beliefs. This notion is consistent with America's founding fathers. It is consistent with the writings of the apostles who spread the word of Jesus without any help from a ruling majority in government. Are we "restoring America" to those perspectives? If...

Where were you on September 11, 2001, when planes hit the towers in New York City?  I was facing questions about whether God is in control of all things, and how to reconcile that with acts that scream to be called "un-Godly."  My answer involves as much metaphysics as theology. In each case, possible world theory has much to do with how I understand both Providence and prayer. Different Drummer:...