IMPOSSIBLE COIN

The conclave has gathered and there is white smoke. Impossible Coin names 2019's dumbest, evilest and most disappointing. Don't worry, there will be a magic show. (Not the juicy kind.) These are video games.

The bloodletting begins and the knives are out. Friends, it is time that we endanger our real and vibrant friendships over something so trivial as who is the best Fire Emblem person.

Hark! the herald Now Beat blogs, "Glory to the new-born Queen! Peace on earth, and Simon mild, Aldovia and Penglia reconciled." Joyful, Aldovians, rise, Evil butler in disguise; With th' angelic host proclaim, "Why's this queen got blogger fame?" Hark! the herald Now Beat blogs, "Glory to the new-born Queen!

I think you have to go back to 2017 to find an episode of this show this bad. You hate to see it. Anyway, mistakes were made, Ls were held and somehow the person who got it together and rose above criticism was Geoff Keighley? 

This is really the one that broke Tegan. I don't know whether it is every resident of Aldovia being a certified idiot or the swapping of the main character's father for a weird stranger who is definitely walking here but this sequel is watchalong that is much better/worse than the first. Our special holiday #content continues.

Gather round! Tis the season of Yule or the Yule season! Rocky, Tegan and Brian celebrate not by working on their backlogs for GOTY but by watching festive holiday classix! If Genovia was too classy for you journey inside a hollow acorn for this story that teaches crack reporters are stupid and friends are best contacted on Skype.

Elon Musk was an idiot. Big surprise. Randy Pitchford was an idiot. Big surprise. Stadia is a trash fire. Big surprise. The naming conventions of both Half Life and Debbie Does Dallas are examined. Bluff City Law offends Brian. Rocky wants to do a nightmarish boss fight. These are video games.

Stadia is actually on fire. Microsoft kicked off their annual Xbox fan convention. The Apple TV had video games and Brian played them. Rocky won't stop messing with Brian over ardently religious corporate fandoms. Come with us to the sketchy Pokestops that shouldn't have been approved!

Brian here. I haven't listened to this episode yet and I wasn't there. Pretty sure that means I now have the all-time worst attendance record, dethroning Tegan. I like to assume this episode title is very specifically targeted to me and my endless pillows. Don't judge me. VIDEO GAMES.

Rocky, Tegan and Brian sit down with the newest cast member of the show, Champagne Fresca. Tegan rejects Fresca and his teachings as heresy. The gang talks Deadspin and its implications for Kotaku, a cool initiative by Ninja Theory and Rocky's personal campaign to not do a thing. Join us as we explore Tegan's two good ideas!

Rocky and Tegan stay tragically on task and mostly talk about video games as Brian's life spirals out of control because he can't get his sleep under control. Call of Duty is a mess, Bethesda does it again and Pikachu wears money pants. Also, for some reason, Tegan hates spooky things which is a perspective but not a good one.

Tegan brings up to speed on Riot's plan for global domination. The left and the right join forces to hate Blizzard. Brian is happy with a recent Analogue announcement. Rocky makes a shocking revelation which will change Impossible Coin FOREVAR. These are video games.

Tegan and Brian have a reckoning with time guzzling addictions. Brian apologizes to the listenership and Tegan. The lads consume hot fall TV. Blizzard drops the ball big time. Riot then drops the ball big time. Sony tells us about their future and Google tries to convince us they are the future. HEY THAT'S A UKULELE.

Tegan is back in prison. (Again.) We got got for something dumb. COMING FOR YOU SAISO. Two bad men who used to be friends settled their bad man fight. (It's the Randy Pitchford update.) Internal knife fights must be wild at Sony. Sounds like Jim Ryan has the better shiv crafted from a sharpened PS4. Ever go to a wrong bookstore?

This is a new episode of Impossible Coin. It is a podcast about video games. You can tell from this description that Brian is definitely in this episode and has full awareness of what was discussed. Or if he wasn't he has listened to the episode and knows what it is about. Featuring 100% less public domain music.

Look, this episode is a full day late because Brian was working until 1AM on Wednesday. Also, he called an audible on the title of this episode because there was not an abundance of visuals that communicated "That's Just Paperwork" in a funny way. Please listen to this podcast about video games.

Rocky and Brian hold the fort while Tegan is out of office. KFC is a cynical, capitalist enterprise and their dating game is stupid (or that is what Brian would have you believe). The new MHW expansion is fun and offers a lot of things hunters have been craving (or this is what Rocky would have you believe. Check out the dark side of Kind Words, the dumb side of Monopoly and get thirsty for a drag...

Live from Doritos, Arizona comes this window into the emotional collapse of one of your hosts! Just kidding, Brian played multiple video games this week so he is fine! Slay the Spire is good. Gears 5 is buggy. Anna Kendrick agendas are alleged. Terry Bogard wants to be the best.

CW: Sexual Assault, Suicide Sorry guys. It can't all be fun and games. (Even though our primary focus is just that.) The news from video games has been super tough in the last week and we steer into the storm. Hopefully, we did some good in breaking down the events of the last week. There is other, more fun, stuff in here too. And Steam. Always Steam.

Big Sach stops by and we speculate about Todd MacFarlane's Legend Of Zelda. Octopus gets used as a verb. America is going wild for chicken sandwiches and there is a preview of All Out and Royal Quest. All this and Tegan brings you your legally mandated amount of Nintendo stanning.

Rocky exposes the cold, hard truth of running a raid group in these trying times. Nintendo does not understand how YouTube works. Tegan is double exhausted by Call of Duty. Brian launches an effort to get Tegan on the Stardom train.

We talk about the ESA data leak and the trashbag Gamergater who did it, platform holders smarten up on loot boxes, Wal-Mart finds a strawman for guns in video games. Tegan and Brian tumble back into bad habits. The Red Bull party is bad and there is Fire Emblem. We got what 12 year olds want RIGHT NOW!

Rocky, Tegan and Brian settle in for another watchalong. (Slow news week you nerds.) This time, they watch an episode of the Vice series 'The Wrestlers' focusing on the Japanese promotion Stardom. Join us on this mission of idol culture and choke holds.

Brian is overwhelmed by Thwomps. Twitter, wrestling and Zelda make for a spicy and spirited debate. Rocky is playing that game with strategy and thirst. (Fire Emblem: Three Thirsts) Joycons are bad.  Amit Raizada is bad. The Joker is good but Sigma is bad. No, not that Sigma. THESE ARE VIDEO GAMES.

Look, Brian's not in the office today. He literally threw his back out at a funeral. THAT HAPPENED. What you get is Rocky and Tegan talking Splatoon, Fortnite, FFXIV and those clowns at Hitrecord. And grab your finest fight stick, bar of soap and dread of a community that lacks accountability. It's time to talk EVO!