Imported Horror

You always knew you're a monster, deep down. You just assumed it was a figurative one - not a literal kaiju somehow stomping through Seoul on your way home from the bar. This week, the gang studies a monstrous genre-bender that's among the weirdest and most horrifying non-horror movies out there. Also, what kind of nightmare would you rather include the sass of the late, great Jessica Walter? Moti...

You know how this story ends - the giant monster stomping through Tokyo becomes a real Hollywood movie star. Do you know how it began, though? Or have countless Godzilla sequels overpowered its haunting origin story? This week, grab some popcorn for a surprisingly poignant throwback Godzilla. Also, if not the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, what kaiju form would you rather the destroyer take? Motion Pi...

Trolls aren't cute - and they don't have fluorescent hair. They're towering giants with a taste for rocks and pious Christians. This week, the gang explores shaky cam mockumentaries and pagan legends high above the frosty fjords of Norway. Also, what horror movie would you rather experience as a documentary crew? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 2 (Marcus) / 1 (Melissa) / 2 (Grady). Quality: 5 / 4 / 5...

There's a giant lion rampaging through Amsterdam! Do you really need to know more? This week, this gang watches the latest film from Dick Maas, the B Movie King of Amsterdam, and explores Wilhelm screams and China's fondness for giant kitty cat carnage. Also, which terrible SyFy original monster would you rather die fighting? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 0. Quality: 4 (Marcus) / 5 (Melissa) / 4 (G...

Imagine a haunted hotel and a struggling marriage. Now, think less about The Shining and more about Alfred Hitchcock. Add some unsettling Los Angeles noir and you've got The Night - a spooky international co-production and the first American movie given legal screening rights in Iran since their 1979 revolution. Motion Picture Terror Scale: 4 (Marcus) / 3 (Melissa) / 2 (Grady). Quality: 5 / 4 / 4....

Can paper mache feel pain, when it's twisted and contorted? What if it's escaping a cult? This week, the gang gets captivated and horrified by the creepiest stop motion film of all time. Also, what horror classic would you rather see animated and Melissa  accidentally called an elaborate sex dungeon. Motion Picture Terror Scale: 3 (Marcus) / 4 (Melissa) / 3 (Grady). Quality: 5. Enjoyment: 3 / 4 /...

Imagine escaping the horrors of a civil war only to discover cold bureaucrats who confine you in a haunted house with an ancient night witch. Or did the "apeth" follow you from South Sudan? This week, the gang spends the night in his surprisingly scary house. Also, would you rather live in a world with no horror movies or only G-rated horror movies? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 4 (Marcus) / 5 (Mel...

You're trapped in your apartment, self-isolating, watching horrifying tragedies unfold on the news. Sound familiar? Well, good news - this time it's a zombie apocalypse! The gang logs in to discuss #Alive, a surprisingly scary and remarkably poignant take on isolation, suicide and survival. Also, which vintage horror villains would you rather see take over the world? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 3...

Medical science can't explain everything in Dr. Refaat Ismail's life. It can't explain his nightmares, his mazes, his constant upturned coffee cups or why the creatures of the night seem to haunt him. This week, the gang heads to Egypt for a Netflix adaptation of popular horror pocket books that clearly deserve an English translation. Also, they explore the horror potential for Danish animation st...

Playing The Beatles or Pink Floyd records backwards won't summon Lucifer, but playing the heavy metal Black Hymn forwards will unleash the hounds of hell. This week, the gang gives 2020 the finger and a righteous send-off with the most shameless and fun metal horror flick ever made. Also, what movies that you've seen this year would you rather have on a deserted island? Motion Picture Terror Scale...

Stalkers watch their flocks on silent nights - including an unsuspecting family of independent sorority sisters. This classic holiday horror is often overshadowed by the generation of grisly slashers it inspired, and by two modern remakes with noticeably different plots. This Christmas, the gang explores slasher lineage and feminist themes in Black Christmas. Motion Picture Terror Scale: 3 (Marcus...

Forget everything you know about Santa Claus - he's actually a shameless demon with an axe, a flying buffalo and a thirst for vengeance. The gang dives into a holiday classic that's purposefully so-bad-it's-good while considering which  other  holiday deserves the raunchy, punny slasher treatment. Motion Picture Terror Scale: 1. Quality: 3 (Marcus) / 4 (Melissa & Grady). Enjoyment: 5. Articles men...

In 1906, a young lawyer with spectacular mutton chops travels to rural England to put a creepy old house up for sale. Guess what? It's haunted by the most famous television specter in British history. Also, what horror villain would you rather see invade a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 3 (Marcus) / 4 - (Melissa) / 3 (Grady). Quality: 4 / 5 / 4 Enjoyment: 4 / 5 / 4 T...

If you're looking for a duel to the death between Santa Claus and the Krampus, then look elsewhere. In the season three premiere, the gang gets duped by a campy and fun trailer advertising a smug and confusing holiday horror. Also, which Christmas legend would you rather defend you from the krampus? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 0. Quality: 0. Enjoyment: 0. Triggers: Rape.

I don't always broadcast my mistakes. But, when I do, I prefer blooper reels. Hopefully, our comedy of errors will help make this election day a bit less stressful. Hold fast. Be patient. Vote for Joe Biden (if you haven't already) and we'll be back in December for a full slate of holiday cheer and Christmas carnage.

Spooky season reaches its chilling climax this week - a blue moon, a Saturday night and Halloween all in one. The gang caps off season two with roundtable recommendations of gruesome frightfests, clever monster mashes and genre-bending body snatchers from beyond the shining seas. Also, which tame horror classic would you rather give a savage reboot? 

Curses never end - they just evolve, casting long shadows across multiple generations. This week, the gang gets spooked by brutal shadow puppetry in the wilds of the Javanese jungle. Also, if you had a potential inheritance in your long-forgotten home town, what creepy variety of townspeople would you rather encounter? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 5. Quality: 5 (Marcus) / 4 (Melissa) / 4 (Grady). ...

By day, Sai is a normal teenage girl in a typical rural village with run-of-the-mill boy problems. At night, though, her head rips itself from her shoulders and flies around with a thirst for blood. What will her beaus think? This week, the gang tackles an ancient Thai legend blended with modern young adult themes. Also, what part of your significant other's body would you rather see detach and ta...

In space, no one can hear porn stars and amputees going to hell. This week, the gang hits  engage  on a sci-fi horror classic with a gnarly bloodbath that was savagely shrunk by wet blanket movie studio executives. Also, if you were on a flight to Mars, what space horror monster would you rather face? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 2 (Marcus) / 3 (Melissa) / 4 (Grady). Quality: 3. Enjoyment: 4. Arti...

Being a teenage girl is tough. Angsty feelings, annoying parents, cute boys, snarling werewolves - it never ends. The gang spends the first full moon in October getting hairy and rage-y with a Canadian cult classic and a Frankenstein-y Danish slow burn. Also, which famous teen movie would you rather see improved with impromptu lycanthropy? Ginger Snaps: Motion Picture Terror Scale: 1. Quality: 3....

Could you kill your best friend? What would you say if a cruel, repressive regime forced you into a bloody deathmatch with your classmates? This week, the gang slashes through cult favorite "Battle Royale," a dense gorefest about the raw horrors of adulthood and authoritarianism. Also, who would you rather be your sidekick in a battle royale? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 4 (Marcus) / 1 (Melissa) /...

Why aren't there any Jewish vampires? Is it because vampiric blood turns the followers of Moses into Blade-like superheroes with awesome soundtracks? This week, the gang heads to Israel for a snappy genre-bending new spin on Dracula and his minions. Also, which mind-melting 80s horror would you rather see remade with Wil Wheaton? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 1 (Marcus) / 2 (Melissa) / 1+ (Grady)....

He's charming, chilling and twisted. He draws comparisons to Dennis Hopper, Jim Carey, Kevin James, John Cleese and Nic Cage. He's Deputy Dabaan (Ali Suliman) in "Rattle the Cage," and he's hear to dance on your last nerves. Also, what horror sheriff would you rather attempt to protect you from horrifying monsters? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 2+ (Marcus), 3 (Melissa), 4 (Grady). Quality: 5. Enjoy...

The past is always with us. So is la Llorona - the wailing woman with a silent stare and haunted memories. This moving blend of ghost stories and historical drama puts the traumas and terrors of the Guatemalan genocide on full display. Also, who would you rather direct an unnecessary remake of your favorite foreign movie? Motion Picture Terror Scale: 3 (Marcus) / 4- (Melissa) / 3+ (Grady). Quality...

One is understated, unnerving and grayscaled. The other has Nic Cage. Dueling adaptations of H.P. Lovecraft's short story leave the gang locked in debate over magenta hues, alpacas and the triumphant return of the "Cagenerator." German version: Motion Picture Terror Scale: 3 (Marcus) / 3+ (Melissa) / 2 (Grady). Quality: 4/4/4+ Enjoyment: 4/5/3 American version: MPTS: 4/1/2 Quality: 4/4/3+ Enjoymen...