If I’m Really Honest

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, Jamin Coller sits down with M.E. (Jamie) Thomas, a lawyer, educator, musician, and author of Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight, to discuss the psychology of psychopathy, what it really means to live without empathy as commonly understood, and how identity and morality are shaped by experience rather than instinct. Jamie shares h...

Lawyer, musician, and author of Confessions of a Sociopath, M.E. Thomas joins me to talk about psychopathy without fear, caricature, or moral panic. This is not a conversation about monsters. It’s a conversation about meaning, identity, empathy, boundaries, stories we tell ourselves, and what happens when a sense of self is missing—or too rigid. Topics include: Psychopathy vs sociopathy (and why t...

Victor M. Sweeney joins me for an unfiltered, humane, and surprisingly tender conversation about death, grief, funeral culture, and why modern Americans are so uncomfortable with mortality. Victor explains what actually happens behind the scenes at funerals, why “predatory funeral homes” are mostly a myth, how small towns grieve differently than cities, and what it means to care for both the livin...

Dr. Aaron Adair joins If I’m Really Honest to break down quantum mechanics, infinity, cosmology, CERN optics, why the universe expands faster than light in some regions, how misconceptions spread, and why intuition is a terrible roadmap for understanding reality. This is a deep dive into what physics actually says - stripped of mysticism, marketing, and wishful thinking. https://draaronadair.com/...

In this episode, Jamin sits down with Kristen Ulmer, former extreme skier and author of The Art of Fear, to unpack why most of us are taught the wrong relationship with fear—and how that broken relationship fuels anxiety, sleeplessness, and emotional overwhelm. Kristen explains why resisting fear (“letting it go,” calming it down, distracting from it) actually creates anxiety, and why intimacy wit...

Dr. James L. McGaugh - a founder of modern memory science - joins me for an hour of deep exploration into how memory actually works. We talk about autobiographical memory, the puzzle of retrieval, why forgetting is both a feature and a mercy, and what makes Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory so different from anything else in neuroscience. He explains why PTSD persists, why emotion strengthen...

This episode dives into the paradox of being human - how we care, how we deny care, how we form meaning, and how love requires both vulnerability and courage. We discuss the embodied nature of mind (E-cognition), the tension between self-protection and connection, and the possibility of relating without collapsing into defensiveness or certainty. https://www.andreahiott.com/ https://www.youtube.co...

In this conversation with Dr. Stefanie Green, we explore medical assistance in dying (MAiD) through real stories, real families, and real ethical questions. Stefanie is a physician and clinical leader in the field of assisted dying in Canada, and the author of This Is Assisted Dying. This is not a debate. It’s a human conversation about autonomy, compassion, suffering, dignity, and how we care for...

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Jamie Reed - a former case-manager at the Washington University Transgender Center in St. Louis - to explore her journey, the ethical and medical questions she raised, and what it means to reconsider deeply held beliefs about care, identity, and transformation. We dig into whistle-blowing, community backlash, the nature of belief, and how on...

What exactly is love? And why does our brain completely change when we fall into it — only to change back again two years later? In this conversation, biologist Dawn Maslar explains the neuroscience, hormones, and evolutionary roots of attraction, bonding, commitment, and long-term connection. We break down everything from the fear-based origins of attraction to why “the spark” fades and what real...

Anthony Magnabosco, the public face of Street Epistemology, joins Jamin Coller to discuss what it means to have conversations that don’t devolve into debates. They explore the evolution of SE, how it differs from traditional apologetics or argumentation, and how curiosity and grace can reshape how we talk about deeply held beliefs. They also discuss the role of personal experience, emotional reaso...

Dr. Chris Germer co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and co-author (with Kristin Neff) of Self-Compassion for Burnout — joins Jamin Coller for an honest conversation about radical acceptance and the “voice of love.” They discuss non-fixing as a teaching posture, why warmth matters as much as awareness, and how curiosity turns empathy into compassion. Guest Links: ChrisGermer.com |...

In this thoughtful conversation, I sit down with Patrick Ryan, veteran cult intervention specialist and longtime practitioner in the field of coercive influence. We talk through the evolution of cult deprogramming, how belief systems shift, the tension between gentle engagement vs. confrontation, and why many people leave high-control groups on their own terms. He also shares insight into cultic d...

What does it mean to be awake—as a human, or as a machine? In this wide-ranging conversation, Jamin Coller and Jim Rutt explore consciousness, religion, evolution, metaphysics, and whether AI can ever truly “wake up.” They unpack Game B, noble lies, mystical experience, and why the illusion of God might be as neurologically real as the love you feel for your child. Guest links: IfImReallyHonest.co...

This conversation gets precise about what makes a cult a cult. Rick Alan Ross explains early warning signs, how authority gets sacralized, why “thought-terminating clichés” work, and what respectful, evidence-based interventions look like. We revisit Waco, NXIVM, and other case studies—not to sensationalize, but to learn how to spot coercion, preserve relationships, and protect loved ones. Guest l...

This episode features an honest, moving conversation with author and educator Michelle Dowd, whose memoir Forager: Field Notes on Surviving a Cult explores growing up inside a high-control religious community and building a new life beyond it. We discuss her forthcoming book A Prodigal Daughter, her Substack newsletter where she engages with readers, and her pilot series based on the stories of pe...

In this powerful episode of If I’m Really Honest, Jamin Coller speaks with Song Mi, a North Korean defector who escaped at age 17 after years of hunger, surveillance, and propaganda. Song Mi shares how her mother’s escape opened her mind to the outside world, the dangers she faced crossing China, Laos, and the Mekong River, and what it was like to be monitored 24/7, endure public executions, and a...

Cognitive maps, place/grid/time cells, H.M., consolidation, reconsolidation, and free will — this deep-dive with Dr. Lynn Nadel explores how the hippocampal formation knits space and time into experience, and why that matters for who we become. Resources and references mentioned in the episode are linked in the show notes. Guest links: UA profile – https://psychology.arizona.edu/person/lynn-nadel...

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Tim Mills, aka The Harmonic Atheist — a former pastor-in-training, missionary, and Bible memorization champion who spent decades deeply invested in evangelical Christianity before leaving the faith at 42. We explore his story of deconversion, the dominoes that began to fall during years of study, and how he now helps others heal from religio...

Today’s episode features Rabbi Tovia Singer (Outreach Judaism) offering a Jewish perspective on Jesus’s crucifixion, who/what “Messiah” means in Tanakh, how the Pharisees are portrayed, and what it really means to be “under the Law.” Whether you’re a Christian, a Jew, or just curious, this is a thoughtful challenge to common assumptions—shared in the tone this show prizes: seeking truth without tr...

Music, empathy, and hard conversations with Darryl Davis—the pianist who has spent decades befriending people in hate-based groups and tracing rock & roll’s true lineage. We cover Elvis’s first spin on Dewey Phillips’ show, Sun Records, Little Richard vs. Pat Boone, Led Zeppelin’s “borrowed” blues, FCC/radio history, and why travel + dialogue still change hearts. Guest links: Official — YouTub...

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Jeff Schoep, former leader of the National Socialist Movement, to talk about his transformation from extremism to advocacy. We explore why people are drawn to extremist groups, how fear and scapegoating shape radicalization, and the difficult process of leaving behind hate-filled ideology. Jeff shares the personal turning points, human conne...

Rabbi Tovia Singer joins to walk through core Jewish readings of the Hebrew Bible: what messianic prophecies actually say, why the first century looks like the opposite of a messianic age, how genealogies and the Jeconiah curse collide with virgin-birth claims, and why Deuteronomy 30 and Ezekiel 18 undercut the idea that forgiveness requires a mediator. We also dig into the order of the Tanakh vs....

What happens when curiosity beats tribalism? If I’m Really Honest is a podcast where ignorance isn’t punished, hard questions are welcomed, and disagreement doesn’t mean contempt. Host Jamin Coller talks with people from all sides—atheists, pastors, activists, rabbis, former extremists—to uncover the nuance in our most polarizing issues.