If I Had a Million

Send a text If there's one thing that should be a moment of thoughtful repose, it's visiting a loved one's grave. Unfortunately, this isn't the case for Gil Abrams. With talking lifestones, a nosey dog, and a weaponized purse, it's anything but. 

Send a text Things are starting to level off, and the money isn't pouring in like Gil had hoped. What are his options? His recent v-cast with Park reminds him that there might only be one, or even worse, perhaps it was all a scam.  

Send a text Gil is rattled, but it's obvious God is watching over him. He could be behind bars. He could be drowned. Or even worse, his son. Gil has certainly learned a few things on his foray into the world of human smuggling. And not only that he should always bring a change of clothes.  

Send a text The big day has arrived. But not for Gil. He simply doesn't have the nerve. Although watching his son risk it all is already enough to keep him up all night. Will God protect Melvin and Reverend Tom? Who the good Lord chooses as his instruments is mysterious indeed. Some might say reckless.  

Send a text Ballsacks, Nutsacks, and Dogecoin, three of the many essential financial terms one must learn to keep up in the second half of the twenty-first century. It's just that Gil wonders if he wants to. Especially when he finds out they are types of currency. But strange or not, they are flowing into his Gimmee account. If it wasn't for the worry of his son risking his life on the o...

Send a text Reverend Tom has a big favour to ask of Gil. One that carries the potential for great reward —some might even say salvation, depending on how you look at it. But with every reward comes risk, one that may not be worth the chance unless a hard case like Melvin gets wind of it.   

Send a text Gil has a lot on his plate. Emojoe, the A.I manager from EverythingStore dangles a "friendly" fleeting offer too good (or horrible depending on how you look at it) to ignore. Meanwhile, his car is losing its marbles, and he's promised Park a v-cast interview. With the Emojoe offer, the house, the v-cast, and the new Gimmee account Park set up, Gil might actually once aga...

Send a text Gil receives an exciting and strange phone call while scrubbing a toilet at the high school. If it's real, it changes everything and convinces him that God must have a hand in it. Later, he strikes a deal with Park, and with his new friends, he once again finds himself traversing the strange world of Yi in the ancient Song Dynasty. It's so beautiful that even dragon genitalia...

Send a text Gil has a few people at his house for the first time since Amy died. It's his grandson's friends, but company is company. Anything is better than the silence and boredom. But it's not until he hops into the virtual world of Yi with them that he realizes what he has been missing all these years. "Video games" have come a long way. Bang!  

Send a text Much to Melvin's disappointment, Gil decides he is going to take the leap and sell his home. Only then will he have enough money to buy the one thing that money could never buy in the past. Talent? No. Wisdom? Nope. A cure for cancer? Okay maybe there's a lot of things money can't buy. In this case it's youth. Gil is going to buy his youth back.

Send a text Gil decides to let the real-estate agent take a look at his place. It doesn't take long for her to get him excited about the possible rise in his bank account, considering it will more than quadruple his life-savings. Meanwhile one of the greatest achievements in human history unfolds in an online press conference, and Gil watches every second of it. 

Send a text Because of boredom and loneliness, Gil decides to return to his old job as a janitor at the local high school and even try out new employment as a part-time greeter at EverythingStore. It's there that he runs into a real estate agent who assures him that, due to the recent influx of American immigrants, Gil's ocean-view land is worth a lot more money than he realized. Maybe a...

Send a text It's been a little over six months since Amy died, and elderly Gil Abrams is trying to adjust to life alone. Not that he's completely alone. "The Cat" and his dog, Dan, are there to keep him company, but they're not exactly spring chickens either. Only for his faith, life might seem meaningless. And only for McDonald's he may not eat another warm meal.  

Send a text In this brief introduction, Lig, A.I shadow for Gil Abrams, describes how he convinced his reluctant imprint to tell his story about his grand adventure smuggling American immigrants into Newfoundland in order to obtain enough yuan to buy the de-aging treatment.