I Should Say That Out Loud

Happy April! I'm so pleased to finally be able to join in on the celebration of Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month after some poorly timed technical difficulties. Let's dive right in to this month's theme, and this week's topic. What do I mean when I say, "I Should Say That Out Loud"? what exactly should I say out loud? This is the topic of this month's theme. And...

This week I finish up unpacking all the many ways that autism affects me on a daily basis. I talk about things like not knowing how to dress properly for certain events, fidgeting, adjusting my clothes, adjusting myself in a chair, taking a long time to transition between events, forgetting what I'm shopping for if I don't make a list, and more. I've already thought of additional thing...

When a friend asked me recently how autism affects me on a daily basis I knew it wasn't a simple or quick answer.  I needed time to think about it and pay attention to daily life for a while to really wrap my head around all the many ways I'm affected by autism every day and be able to thoroughly answer that question.   This episode is part 1 of that answer, which was much too long to po...

This is the second most difficult episode for me, after episode 4.  I left the emotion in again to be authentic and show how remembering trauma can affect someone.  There's nothing graphic in this episode, but it may possibly trigger others to hear my story. I recall emotionally abusive treatment I received from my band director, which is common for people with autism to experience from...

Reading the book "Population One" by Tyler McNamer has brought back a flood of memories from my high school days. I knew I was awkward, but I had no idea about my autism at that time.  So while it's fresh on my brain, I wanted to talk about those days.  It turns out that most of my high school memories surround my time in band and playing the trombone. Don't worry, I've never been to band camp!   ...

What a coincidence that tomorrow is Valentine's Day, as this episode is all about a high school crush, my super secret high school crush!   High school crushes can be filled with all sorts of emotions and memories.  My HS crush, which started back in middle school band, was certainly not short on emotions and embarrassing moments, for me!   Looking back, now that I've been diagnosed...

Living life with autism is like living life as an underdog.    This week I share a few excerpts from Malcolm Gladwell's book, "David and Goliath," and a couple of the underdog strategies he's noticed throughout history.   Working in an environment with neurotypically brained co-workers is also a difficult experience day after day.  So I also share a few excerpts from a book ent...

After almost 5 years of sharing my late autism diagnosis with close family and friends and more recently sharing it with a wider audience of old friends, new friends, acquaintances, and strangers, I've heard a wide variety of reactions from people.   There seems to be 5 general categories of reactions that I've noticed. Some are great, some are not so great, and one is pretty sad. But I can't...

The more I learn about autism, the more empowered I feel about living a more authentic life and letting people know about my struggles as well as the unique and different and beautiful way that my brain functions.   In this week's episode I go through the emotions I felt when I was officially diagnosed, as well as the ways I cope with and feel about sharing or not sharing my diagnosis on a re...

How comfortable are you with small talk?  Me, not so much. I've always struggled with small talk, and that's why I had this book on my bookshelf, "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine.  I've always been trying to improve this vital skill for my social awkwardness, for job strength, and for all-around improvement in meeting and getting along with people. But I have never been able to...

Being diagnosed with autism as an adult, even though I knew I was different all along, I never received professional help or therapies. Reading a book called "I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust" by Valerie Gilpeer & Emily Grodin, has helped me realize that my dad teaching me to water ski when I was 11 years old was one of the best things he could have ever done for me, physically, emotiona...

After a time of recovery and overcoming adversity, my mom wanted me, wanted us (my twin and I) back in her life. She brought us back into her home and gave me some of the most precious moments and memories before she was lost in a house fire. Trigger warning - this episode is very emotional. Although I lost her physical presence in my life at the very young age of 10, my mom's spirit and legacy ha...

After my mentors all mentioned the loss of my mom in the last two episodes, I realized I needed to tell her story. The story of my mom, a woman who portrays the history of women in the 20th century. She endured struggles, she pursued her dreams, she asked for help from another strong woman when she needed time to recover and overcome her circumstances. It was hard and sad to witness my mom go...

As I learn about myself from my mentors, I hope this episode helps you too! We cover 20 years of life's seasons in under an hour, and I've realized that so much can happen when you learn to ask for help! Last week I spoke with my mentor Barbara who first taught me how to ask for help. And then I was off and seeking help to become a better mom and a better speaker from these two strong women. And w...

I talked about my three mentors in my last episode, and now you get to hear from one of them, and get her side of my story. What a joy to reminisce with my mentor Barbara Dega. She helped me through some of the biggest crises of my life. She's one of the only people who saw me as fragile even though I tried to act tough and put-together. She gently drew me out of my protective shell, guided me thr...

Three women who've mentored me and three words that I pray on a daily basis have helped to renew and transform my brain and my life skills in order to function and thrive as an autistic woman. But I'm not cured. I still struggle. I still have awkward conversations. But I'm not afraid to try anymore. 

Diagnosed with autism as an adult has answered so many questions and mysteries for me, and I'm excited to share what it's like to be autistic in order to help other adults who've been diagnosed recently as well as people who just want to understand autism and the people they love better.