I Choose The Bear Podcast

In this deeply personal journal reading, I open up about the emotional rollercoaster I experienced before separation — the gaslighting, the spiritual guilt, the financial fear, and the crushing pressure to “fix” a marriage I didn’t break. You’ll hear my heavy words — written in the thick of it — as I questioned my future, my faith, and if I was too broken. I talk about what it felt like to try so...

In Part 2 of our conversation, Dr. Mallory Knipe returns to discuss the psychosomatic symptoms of trauma, how they show up in the body, and practical tools you can begin using today. We also share helpful resources for deepening your understanding of trauma’s lasting impact. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk • What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo...

Trigger Warning: In this week’s episode, we talk about trauma and reference a couple different types of traumatic events. Please listen with care and step away if needed. In this episode of I Choose the Bear, I’m joined by Dr. Mallory Knipe, associate professor in the Master of Social Work program at Saint Mary’s University. With a doctorate in social work from the University of St. Thomas and a m...

“Why did you stay so long?” It’s a question survivors hear all the time—and one that carries shame. But the truth is far more complex than most people realize. In this episode of I Choose the Bear Podcast, we unpack the hidden reasons women stay in abusive relationships. This conversation reframes the question, shifting the focus from judgment to compassion: not “Why did she stay?” but “What gave...

In this episode of I Choose the Bear, we explore three invisible but devastating forms of abuse: verbal, spiritual, and neglect. Through personal and stories and made up scenarios, I walk you through what it looks like when someone chips away at your confidence, uses God as a weapon, or simply refuses to care. If you’ve ever questioned whether your pain counted, or wondered if you were being “too...

Before I left, I wrote — raw, unfiltered entries that I often threw away out of fear he’d find them. In this episode, I’m reading two entries, written when I was still in the marriage but beginning to see the truth. These are the words of a woman questioning who she is, grieving the life she thought she had, and facing the reality of emotional and mental abuse. If you’ve ever felt lost in a relati...

In this first episode of a four-part series, I walk listeners through subtle, often overlooked forms of abuse - specifically psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control. Through real-life stories and gentle reflection, I name the quiet, soul-erasing patterns many survivors were taught to normalize. This episode is for the woman still trying to figure out if it “counts.” And for the...

Season 1 Episode 5: But Was It Really Abuse? I used to say things like, “I don’t know that I was necessarily abused. My marriage was just…hard.” I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it really was my fault. But then I sat across from a counselor and shared my story, and heard the words I’ll never forget: “You absolutely were abused.” Have you ever heard of coer...

Episode 4: The Other Side of Fear - Caitlin’s Story Trigger Warning: SA and Physical Abuse In this powerful episode, I sit down with my dear friend Caitlin as she bravely shares her story of surviving physical abuse and SA. What she endured behind closed doors was heartbreaking, but the courage it took to break free and start over is nothing short of heroic. Caitlin’s journey is raw, honest, and d...

Health and What My Body Remembers Some wounds don’t leave bruises. Some memories still make your chest tighten. This week, I talk about the pain I carried alone— the health scares, the silence, and the ache of being asked “What are you doing to cause it?” If you’ve ever had to be strong when no one stood beside you, this episode is for you. You’re not weak. You’re not to blame. You’re not alone.

Episode 2: The Chaos, The Grief, The Courage It Takes to Leave At first, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t overreacting. I started reading, reaching out, quietly asking myself, Is this abuse? In this episode, I take you into the part of my story that’s hardest to tell—the part where everything looks like it’s falling apart, but something stronger is quietly rising inside of me. You’ll hear about...

What if the person you loved the most was also the one who made you feel the smallest? In this first episode, I share about the day that cracked open the truth about my marriage and the book that helped me finally name what I was living through: abuse If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it really that bad?” Or told yourself, “But he’s not always like this…” then this episode is for you. You are not alone...

I Choose the Bear Podcast is about facing it. It’s about rising from betrayal, reclaiming our worth, and becoming the strongest version of ourselves - whether anyone else chooses us or not. I chose the bear…because I’ve walked through fire and still came out standing. Because I’m done shrinking. Because I am strong. I am worthy. And I still believe in love that sees me, values me, and chooses me f...