I Am The Cute One

This episode originally aired 12/18/22. To cover "The Holiday," Ryan Sichelstiel (@rysic) signs up to do a house swap of his own, but finds he'll be staying in Hell as he spends the hour with a flu-ridden Chelsea and Donny, who are hopped up on NyQuil and hot toddies, respectively. White Lotus-inspired fan theories, fat holes, Viagra sponsorships, and Imogeon Heap sing-a-longs are brought up in th...

(Stick around for the end for a special update from Donny!) Go to HelloFresh.com/cuteone10fm now to get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If tod...

Go to HelloFresh.com/cuteone10fm now to get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hiji...

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hiji...

Cuties, do you want to hear about our dreams? If not, Chelsea may break up with you on a golf course. What we do want to hear about is Lea Michele stealing the roles from childhood friends. Scott Kelly, if you need a job, send the Cute Ones an email. Stephanie Sanchez needs an assistant. Gatekeep. Girl boss. Shin kick. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut...

The Cute Ones are cathargic this week as they cover the Karen Goldberg movie that everyone needs, Sister Act 2. The duo reminisce about middle school pranks, discuss what food they could eat every day, and plan the opening for their live show. Also, why was Delores needed at the school in this movie? Victor, did we mess anything up? If not, we promise to wake up and pay attention next time. To acc...

Chelsea almost unalived by a bee and got caught in a shootout this week and Donny looked like James Corden in the Cats movie, but they’re both here now to cover this week’s hottest headlines: the Dodgers won the World Series, Carly Rae Jepsen is pregnant, Jessica Lange announced her return to American Horror Story, and Zohran Mamdani became the Mayor-Elect of New York City! Also, Chelsea and Donny...

Chelsea has done it again. The Cute Ones are watching The Running Man, a movie that hits a little too close to home. So instead, Donny forces the duo to cover Adam Sandler’s Click for five minutes. Then, Chelsea tries to get two months in a row where she picks the movies and Donny gets horned up about the Louvre robbers enough to plan what sounds he’d make if he was in porn. Also, manifestation wo...

Tell me about it, Stud. Donny and Chelsea are in their finest Grease costumes to cover the week’s hottest headlines, as well as discuss their weeks, including Donny being left alone in a haunted house and Chelsea being haunted by a smoke detector. Also, Kim Kardashian gave bush panties to orphans while her sister is making vag lollipops. And the most important news you’ll hear this week… Ariana Gr...

Chelsea and Donny finish spooky season strong, with the Bette Davis/Joan Crawford psycho-biddy hit, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" You'll notice the duo are not in costumes, but they want to save June and Blanche costumes for a Halloween live show in the future. They also discuss Emma Stone's new movie, Mall World merch, and the slurs not allowed to be used in the Rivers household. And there is...

The Cute Ones have been blocked in Russia, so instead of playing music this week, Chelsea is doing us all a favor by singing. Someone needs to do Donny a favor by buying him a sleep apnea machine because he fell asleep in the movie theater this week. Also, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato released new music and the floating pumpkin race was a smashing (pumpkin) success. To access AD FREE versions of o...

SURPRISE! Please enjoy this sneak peek of our bonus content, usually exclusively over on our Patreon! FOR THE REST OF OUR DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES COVERAGE, ⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be s...

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hiji...

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hiji...

Chelsea and Donny are continuing spooky season by covering the non-gorn 1998 horror film, Halloween: H20 (famously not starring Shannen Doherty). Then, they try to dig in to what being compared to Winnie from “The Wonder Years” means before lamenting about the fears of old people. To any headmistresses listening to this episode: what are your responsibilities exactly? Because Donny and Chelsea hav...

Chelsea and Donny react to Wendy Osefo's arrest - IN REAL TIME - before discussing Donny's schedule to see Wicked: For Good five times in theaters, having a Fat Sister marathon, and the duo's thoughts on Renee Rapp in concert. Also... Chelsea goes to Mall World because why wouldn't she? To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to o...

You know what they always say: every witch needs a ghost, so to  start off spooky season, Donny and Chelsea are breaking down a movie without witches or ghosts - the vampire mafia classic, “Innocent Blood” (and how Vanessa Hudgens’ ‘Sneakernight’ ties in). But first - they recap “Aristocats.” Also, they touch on what plot lines have been missing for Athena Grant in 9-1-1, Shutterfly editing, and w...

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hiji...

Donny and Chelsea are covering the cult classic that Roger Ebert called "jaw droppingly bad" - B*A*P*S, starring the AWARD WINNING ACTRESS, Halle Berry (although Chelsea doesn't think she should be). The duo hope to win a contest - white t-shirt or otherwise, but they'll settle for a $4 cocktail or a glass of toilet water. Happy Belated Bi Visibility Day! Where are the abs? To access AD FREE versi...

Chelsea is at a funeral, and maybe we're celebrating yours because it's the I AM THE CUTE ONE RAPTURE SPECIAL! If you plan on being raptured, please send us your bank account information and let us sublet your apartment. With everyone raptured, at least we'll still get the Wicked press tour because... well... Also, we get a Aunt Becky reveal! To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as...

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?! A head. And what's in this episode? A lot of chaos. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re o...

Donny had phone issues this week, and Chelsea had math problems. But they're here now, with Aunt Becky on the way, and they're talking about Jen Affleck's Dunkin commercial and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Who are we fxcking up this time? To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you la...

"To Wong Foo" - famously not an action movie (or maybe not so famously? Ask Dr. Bald) , but one of Patrick Swayze's many "f** stuff" movies - is what the Cute Ones are covering this week. Thank you, Patreon Cuties! They discuss what they'd do before ever inviting strangers on road trips, America's Next Top Butthole, and the best songs from Barney the Dinosaur. To access AD FREE versions of our epi...

It may not be summer camp in Maryland, but Arbie the Robot joins the Cute Ones to discuss the horrors of escape rooms, the dentist, bike riding, and eating crabs with your hands.  To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS o...