How To! with Mike Pesca

Lily wants to have satisfying sex that plays to her core desires, but lately it's been hard to describe to potential partners exactly what she wants. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman —sexologists, authors , and the founders of the Somatica Institute . They coach Lily (and all of us) on how to define the individual experiences we're seek...

Can advice from a podcast actually make your life better? How To! producer Rosie Belson is putting previous advice to the test. This month: How to make cleaning a breeze—or a little less awful, at least. Featured How To! episodes: How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It) How To Be a Lazy Genius How To Tame a Chaotic Household How To Get Your Dog to Stop Eating Your Daughters' Underwear With Jenny Sla...

Are you stuck in a hair rut? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Alana Lucia Balestrino , hairstylist, barber, and founder of the Brooklyn-based studio Baddies . Alana explains how to work with a stylist or barber to get a haircut you love. If you liked this episode check out: How To Dress with Confidence. Also: Decoder Ring's Mystery of the Mullet . Do you have a problem that ne...

At least 10 percent of parents in the U.S. are disabled, but Andrea can't seem to find parenting advice on disability and accessibility. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice , author of the new book Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World , to help Andrea reimagine parenthood. If you liked this episode check out: How To Date With a Disability...

Our series Living at Odds concludes with a special episode of Slate's ⁠Death, Sex & Money⁠ . Host Anna Sale returns to her native West Virginia to talk with the state's only full-time lobbyist for LGBTQ rights. Andrew Schneider of ⁠Fairness West Virginia⁠ has spent years cultivating working relationships with conservative allies in state and local government. Aided by those relationships, Andrew h...

In this exclusive Living at Odds bonus episode: Kellie Farrish tells Courtney Martin about the research tools and techniques she uses while helping people uncover information about ancestors lost to history. Farrish, a restorative genealogist, brings together descendants of people who were involved in American chattel slavery for conversations about family pain, generational trauma, dignity, and b...

In the third installment of our series Living at Odds, How To!'s Courtney Martin examines what it's like being in conflict with your family history. She talks with ancestors of the famous names in Plessy v. Ferguson , the Supreme Court decision that affirmed racial segregation in the U.S. as "separate but equal." Later, researcher Kellie Farrish explains how reparative genealogy can unlock family...

In the second installment of our series Living at Odds, former How To! host Amanda Ripley returns to talk with two public school officials in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who found themselves at loggerheads upon their very first meeting. Deborah and Stacey's difficult working relationship continued until COVID-19 sparked some solidarity—and the two began to learn more about each other. Later, Stacey would fin...

Living at Odds is a new How To! series about what's holding us together when so much threatens to break us apart. In our first episode, host Courtney Martin talks with two street vendors who operated rivaling merch tents at the same busy intersection during the 2024 election. Steve hawked MAGA caps and Trump-branded pool floaties just a few feet away from Sandra, who sweetened her sales of Harris-...

Can advice from a podcast actually make your life better? How To! producer Rosie Belson is putting sage wisdom from past episodes to the test. This month: How to reevaluate your social media usage! Featured How To! episodes: How To Put Down Your Phone How To Break the Spell of Social Media How To Rethink Screen Time Tell us about a piece of How To! advice that stuck with you. ? Send us a note at h...

Tesla owners are dumping their vehicles in protest of CEO Elon Musk—and driving down resale prices. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with two soon-to-be-former owners—and with Patrick George , editor-in-chief of InsideEVs and co-host of the Plugged-In podcast . Patrick helps them figure out how to sell their Model Ys and find a ride that aligns with their practical and ideological...

On this Slate Plus episode, Carvell Wallace continues his conversation with award-winning author and memoirist Melissa Febos . They discuss the "unrules" of writing about sex—and Melissa shares advice for new writers on how to make a sex scene come alive. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the...

To some, the act of writing a memoir might seem daunting, invasive, or navel-gazing. But excavating memories, noticing patterns, and revisiting events from other points of view can lead to healing—regardless of whether your work gets published. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Melissa Febos . Melissa is the bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood —winner of the Na...

Music streaming services like Spotify offer huge libraries of songs and albums—with recommendation engines that can feel unadventurous and repetitive. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace welcomes online tastemaker and podcast host Derrick Gee to discuss the shortcomings of music streaming algorithms. And, they sit down with R.J. and Brie—two music fans from different generations—to offer u...

The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are proven ways to make them easier to navigate. Host Charles Duhigg talks with psychologist Jay Van Bavel about strategies for...

In this exclusive Quick Fix bonus episode: Co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin both moved to new homes recently. Ahead of peak moving season, they sit down to share the lessons learned from moving hundreds of books, sharing the responsibility of home decor, and taking the plunge into a major renovation. Plus, Courtney and Carvell share recommendations based on what they're loving right no...

For most of her life, Elizabeth was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which forbids having sex outside of marriage. But she recently left the Mormon faith, and now she's ready to have sex for the first time—at age 43. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Nicole Hardy , author of Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin to offer Elizabeth advice that's relevant...

Interviews are a time-honored way to elicit intimate insights from public figures and people in power. But at a moment when so much history is being denied or even deleted, interviewing family members and elders can be an important way to document their lives—and understand more about ourselves. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sam Fragoso , host of the podcast Talk Easy . Sam...

Why is it that we can tell someone "I'm totally fine!" and they instantly know we're not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another. In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all t...

Can you actually make your life better? Every month, How To! producer Rosie Belson will put some of our best advice to the test. This month: optimizing sleep! Featured How To! episodes: How To Sleep How To Sleep Like a Champ How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier) How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump Next month we'll be breaking up with our phones—with...

May's father nearly lost $4,000 to an online scam. How can she protect him from future fraud? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kathy Stokes, director of fraud prevention programs at AARP . She also runs their Fraud Watch Network . Kathy helps May rethink how she's talking to her parents about cyber scams—she explains steps that everyone can take to avoid becoming a crime victi...

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here… In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life. He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep quest...

At nearly 40, Valerie is itching to pay off her student loans and finally become debt-free. But… how? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Yanely Espinal, financial educator , author of Mind Your Money , and host of the Marketplace podcast Financially Inclined . Yanely breaks down the best ways to pay off your education debt without putting the rest of your life on hiatus. If you...

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she's lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn't interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she's worried it's hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are , to coach Meme through how to revam...

In this exclusive Quick Fix bonus episode: Laurel Braitman reads a passage from her book What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love . She talks about journeying up to Alaska to learn about guilt from some badly behaved birds. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subs...