How To! with Mike Pesca

For years Claire has been holding on to a terrible family secret: Her mom physically abused Claire's brother when he was young. How could her mom have done that? Now, over a decade later, both Claire's mother and brother have passed away, but Claire still grapples daily with feelings of anger and deep resentment toward her mom. In this episode of How To! , we bring in Reverend Mpho Tutu van Furth,...

Sharon is 38 and never been kissed. This, as she acknowledges, is "a bit weird." As a nurse who loves ballroom dancing, Sharon is smart, funny, and attractive. At the same time, she's deeply religious and has been waiting so long for the perfect man she worries that she'll never find "The One." In this episode of How To! , we bring in one of New York City's finest matchmakers, Lisa Clampitt , for...

When Hema first realized she was gay a few years ago after immigrating to the U.S., she knew she had to tell her mom. But the conversation didn't go well. Hema's mom lives in India and is convinced being gay is a Western phenomenon. So how does Hema help her mom accept her for who she is? In this episode of How To!, we bring in Sonali Gulati , a professor, filmmaker and queer rights activist who m...

Anthony is that rarest of things in American politics—a swing voter who is up for grabs in 2020. Caught between his Republican voting history and his current dislike of President Trump, Anthony is now registered as an Independent. But does he follow his head or his heart? In this episode of How To! , we bring in veteran political advisors David Axelrod, chief strategist for Barack Obama's presiden...

Lorenzo is a dental student with big dreams—of becoming a rock star. Lorenzo plays a mean guitar at open mic night, but there's one thing holding him back: He doesn't know how to write his own songs. In this episode of How To!, we bring in master songwriter Ben Folds, former frontman of Ben Folds Five, and author of A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons . Many of those le...

Shannon runs a nonprofit in Aspen, Colorado — a place filled with wealthy donors, but also stiff competition. With nearly 500 nonprofits vying for money, how does Shannon help her organization stick out? Some of the best advice may come from an unlikely source: con artists. In this episode of How To! , Maria Konnikova, author of The Confidence Game , shares con artists' surprisingly similar tricks...

The coronavirus outbreak in China is causing panic worldwide. The World Health Organization has declared it a global health emergency and all we hear about are doubling infection rates, massive quarantines, and drugstores running out of masks. In this episode of How To! , we ask Dr. Elisabeth Rosenthal, former New York Times reporter and author of An American Sickness , how she and her family surv...

Andy would do anything for his girlfriend Cassie. Well, almost anything. As Cassie looks to move away for vet school, Andy has to decide if he's going with her, leaving his job, family and friends, and two bands behind in Austin, TX. In this episode of How To! , we bring in Rachel Hollis, author of Girl, Wash Your Face and her husband Dave, author of Get Out of Your Own Way . The Hollises have a l...

Jason has been addicted to meth for the past 15 years, which is not uncommon in his small Illinois town. Every time Jason stopped using he would relapse, until last year when the state took custody of his two kids. Since then he's sobered up, but is worried about making it last. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Fred Muench, a clinical psychologist and recovering heroin addict who is now the...

Joe Loya robbed over 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery? Do you have a burning question or a problem that needs s...

Once upon a time, Ashley met a man and fell in love. Now, she's ready to get down on one knee and pop the question. But with so few women proposing to men, she's not sure how to go about it. In this episode of How To! , we bring in Caroline Kitchener, staff writer for The Washington Post's The Lily, to share her own unlikely proposal story. She tells Ashley not to worry about stealing a man's thun...

How To! gave dozens of people advice this year about solving their problems. Now, we track a few of them down to see how our experts' suggestions transformed their lives. We follow up with an actor trying to get buff to play a superhero, a bachelor hoping to cook one perfect meal, a therapist who can't fall asleep, an American expat who can't decide where to live and a former cop who suffers anxie...

Mary's mother needs a new kidney — as long as it doesn't come from Mary. What's a daughter to do? In this episode of How To!, Mary hears from Larissa MacFarquhar, author of a book on extreme altruism , to learn how to convince ourselves — and others — to do the most generous things. (This episode originally aired on July 30, 2019)

Jessica is only 26, but says her memory is 'worse than my mother's.' She forgets friends' birthdays, important details at work and worries that life is passing her by. In this episode of How To! , we bring in Joshua Foer, a former U.S.A. Memory Champion who wrote Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything , to help Jessica train her brain. Josh says you don't have to...

Ben aka 'Sleepless in San Francisco' hasn't been able to get a good night's rest for over a decade. He's tried noise machines, medication, vodka, even eating cheese -- but nothing has worked. It's harming his health, his career and his dating life. In this episode of How To! , we bring in Andy Puddicombe, a former Buddhist monk and co-founder of the meditation app Headspace , to help Ben hit the h...

Owen is about to graduate from high school and has no idea what he wants to do next. Owen doesn't seem worried, but his mom, Lisa, is freaking out. In this episode of How To! , we get help from Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Stanford dean and author of How to Raise an Adult . Julie regrets dragging her own son off to college before he was ready. Pushing your child into adulthood, she says, means ask...

Jonny is a 26-year-old bachelor whose cooking often leads to heartache (and for one ex-girlfriend, a stomachache). Jonny admits he's a klutz in the kitchen, so we hooked him up with Sam Sifton , cookbook raconteur and head of the New York Times' Cooking section , to see if we can teach our lovelorn millennial to cook one perfect meal. Is romantic bliss just a well-browned chicken thigh away? (This...

Traci is a single, professional woman looking for love. She builds furniture in her spare time, enjoys dancing and can't believe she has to devote an hour each day to swiping through photos and sending flirty texts. Traci's quest for romance is made harder by the fact that, as a black woman, she has to put up with more nonsense than usual. In this episode of How To! we ask Thirst Aid Kit hosts Nic...

Mike's dream job of playing bass in a Chicago orchestra is within reach — if only he can conquer his nerves and master the audition. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Don Greene , a peak performance psychologist who's worked with Wall Street traders and Olympic athletes, to see if he can help Mike perform his best under the spotlight. The secret? Jumping jacks, extra sleep, and watching...

Sophie is a typical mom … who runs ultramarathons in her spare time. She's pretty tough but an upcoming 268-mile race across the loneliest parts of England is freaking her out. So we turned to Wim Hof, aka "The Iceman" for advice. Because when you are worried about pain, you should definitely consult a Dutch extreme athlete who sits in freezing water for fun. (Really!) (This episode first aired on...

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She's also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children's haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To! , we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr , author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear , to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle refle...

Kyle wants to sell his 50-year old family insurance business so he can finally retire. But a troublesome employee is holding him back: his daughter. In this episode of How To!, Harvard Business School professor Christina Wing tries to help Kyle figure out how to sell his company without sabotaging their relationship. But if you have to fire your daughter, is it ever strictly business?

How many times have you looked at your phone so far today? Do you feel like you're choosing to look, or automatically craving it when you ought to be enjoying life? In this episode of How To! we get advice from Jia Tolentino , New Yorker writer and author of Trick Mirror , who spends hours on the phone every day for her job. And Cal Newport , author of Digital Minimalism , whose 30-day 'digital de...

How do you learn to tell the perfect joke? A pastor from Oklahoma wants to spice up his sermons from the pulpit. So we introduce him to Gary Gulman , a New York standup comedian who makes jokes about his clinical depression in the new HBO comedy special The Great Depresh . The lesson? "Man plans, and God laughs." But only if you nail the delivery. (This episode first aired on July 30, 2019)

Megan is 35 years old, a lawyer, happily married — and suddenly not sure if she wants to be a mom. She always figured one day the maternal urge would kick in, but so far she's only felt ambivalence. Does that mean that she shouldn't have a baby? We asked Cheryl Strayed , author of Wild , how she juggled this question. She tells us the secret to approaching situations where there is no going back,...