How To! with Mike Pesca

Stacie is in her early 30s and is ready to have a baby. There's just one problem—she doesn't have a partner. As much as she wants to be a mom, Stacie is worried about being a single parent by choice. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Lori Gottlieb, therapist, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone , and solo mom herself. Lori opens about her own experience having her son on her own, navi...

Shirley loves her job as a product manager for a startup, but she can't stand her manager. He's inefficient, old-fashioned, and entirely unsupportive of her work. "Just so you know, you don't deserve this," he told Shirley when she recently got promoted. Is there anything Shirley can do to make her work situation better? On this episode of How To, we bring on Patty McCord, former chief talent offi...

Diane feels like she's constantly picking fights with her partner Mohammed—when he forgets to grab tomatoes from the grocery store or drops the ball on planning their son's birthday party. Their conflicts are complicated by layers of cultural differences: Mohammed is a Syrian refugee, Diane is an American, and they live in the Netherlands. "He lived through a war, so I can't win any argument," say...

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on L...

When Shellye Archambeau walked into her first meeting as a board member of Verizon, she felt a moment of panic. "Do I actually belong at this table?" she remembers thinking. Shellye, one of the first Black women to work as the CEO of a tech company in Silicon Valley, has struggled over the years with what's commonly known as "imposter syndrome"—the feeling that you are a phony, despite all evidenc...

We're all have to give a presentation at some point in our lives — on a stage, in a conference room, and, these days, on Zoom. So what makes a good speech? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Chris Anderson, the head of TED Talks and author of TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking . Chris gives us the inside scoop on the famous speaking series and breaks down some of the greates...

Imagine you're floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a boat the size of an SUV. You have no working electronics, no food or water, and only a styrofoam box to shade you from the sun. Your only companion is a 22-year-old who has little seafaring experience. How would you survive? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jonathan Franklin, author of 438 Days , to tell us the incredible story...

Have you ever wondered how you'd fare in the wild? What you'd do when facing off against a rattlesnake or staring down a polar bear? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we dive into two extreme scenarios worthy of their own action movies. First, Kyle Dickman, author of On the Burning Edge and a former hotshot firefighter, opens up about the time he truly feared for his life...

Laura's dad lived an unusual life. He raised 12 children on a farm without running water in the Texas countryside while also programming his own website that connected families, for free, with help when they were going through difficult times. Ever since he passed away this January, Laura has been searching for a way to tell his story, hoping to ultimately post what she writes about her father on...

For years, Stella helped raise twin girls whom she loved deeply. She potty trained them, read bedtime stories and made sure they ate their veggies. But then, one day with little warning, she was asked to leave them. Stella isn't a parent—she's a nanny. And though it's been years, she's still heartbroken over being let go from her old job, especially the way it ended. On this episode of How To!, we...

Andrew snores so badly that his cats won't sleep in the same room as him. He's desperate to sleep better at night, and breathe more easily during the day. As a trans man, Andrew spent most of his life training to be a soprano opera singer only to become a baritone when he transitioned in his early 20s. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Los...

Emilia can't stop thinking about a long-ago love affair with Ivan, a man she met in Mexico in her early 20s and dated for several years. Now, a decade later, Emilia is newly married, but thoughts of her time with Ivan pop into her mind daily, a fact she's never shared with her husband. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ethan Kross, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan and the...

Michael grew up terrified that the world was going to end. This wasn't your typical childhood anxiety, but something he was taught while being raised in the Children of God cult. Michael left the cult years ago, but now in his 30s he's struggling to heal the scars it left on his parents and 11 siblings. How do you go on living when the world doesn't actually come to an end? On this episode of How...

Several months ago, Sarah told her best friend John she's in love with him—but he doesn't love her back. Now Sarah can't get John out of her head, especially because they still talk all the time. How can Sarah move on from John? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of Anatomy of Love , to help Sarah train her heart—and her brain—to fall o...

Age may just be a number but turning 60 is a big deal—at least, according to three listeners who recently wrote us about the challenges they're facing in their later years. Joy can't decide whether to retire from her job as a high school Spanish teacher. Doug is trying to figure out where to channel his energy after a career in the military. And Kim needs to find a way to support herself for the f...

Chris's childhood was defined by the Pentecostal church, where his father is a minister and his siblings are following the same path. But when Chris went to college, his views on the church changed, and now at age 23, he no longer identifies as religious. That's caused a major rift with his parents, and Chris can't stand the tension anymore. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Patricia Lockwoo...

Ever since Casey's husband had his identity stolen, Casey hasn't been able to relax. She spends late nights and weekends obsessively checking their family bank accounts and scouring the web for information on the thieves who live just 15 minutes from her house. The police told Casey that an arrest is unlikely, so how can she find closure and move on with her life? On this episode of How To!, we br...

Juliet knows she's one of the best tennis players in her community league, but whenever she gets on the court, she's paralyzed by self-consciousness. Did the crowd notice how bad that shot was? With all eyes on her, Juliet keeps bungling big points and losing matches she should win. On this episode of How To!, new host David Epstein brings on Sian Beilock, president of Barnard College and the auth...

Samantha Power knows what it's like to arrive in Washington, D.C. and feel a little lost—literally. She once couldn't find the oval office. But more than that, as a Pulitzer Prize-winning human rights activist and former UN Ambassador under President Barack Obama, Samantha had to learn to balance her beliefs with actually getting things done. On this episode of How To!, Samantha, the author of The...

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we learned how to talk politics without wrecking relationships , lose weight and keep it off , confront a crazy neighbor , and even survive a shark attack . As 2020 draws to a close and we look ahead to the New Year, the How To! team comes together to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we app...

Are you sick of sourdough? Stress-baking the same chocolate chip cookies every week? Our listener Daniel understands—he's been baking like crazy during this pandemic, but is feeling tired and uninspired lately. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Claire Saffitz, pastry chef, beloved host of Bon Appétit's " Gourmet Makes " series, and author of the new cookbook Dessert Person , to hack Daniel's...

Erin thinks her dog Chief has the most embarrassing habit—he keeps eating her daughters' underwear. This has happened several times, resulting in multiple costly surgeries. If she can't put a stop to it, it could eventually kill Chief. How can she get her dog to behave and, more importantly, get her teenage daughters to put their underwear in the hamper? On this episode of How To!, Jenny Slate, co...

Irina and her husband are more than $100,000 in debt. They're working to pay it off, but between monthly credit card bills, student loan payments, 401k contributions and spending on their new baby, their money is spread too thin. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Cruze, a personal finance expert and author of Know Yourself, Know Your Money , to help Irina create a budget that she can...

Katie is terrified of dying. As the youngest in a big family, she can't stop thinking about the fact that all her loved ones may die before she does. Katie is a comedy writer who knows how to get laughs, but her obsession with death is real, and getting in the way of living. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Menzies, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Sydney and author...

Lauren and Carlos are afraid their marriage is at a breaking point. With Carlos out of work, an active toddler to care for, and another child on the way, Lauren and Carlos are feeling pressures familiar to many newlyweds—and the pandemic has only made it worse. Can we help this couple find their way back to each other? On this episode of How To!, we bring on John and Julie Gottman, who are not onl...