How To! with Mike Pesca

When Clare decided on a resolution for the year, she was looking for a new challenge. Instead of running a marathon like her partner, Clare—who "talks for a living"—decided to go completely silent. She signed up for a silent retreat. But as it approached, she wondered how she could possibly go an entire week without speaking. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel Thorson of the Monastic A...

When Swiss Ambassador Jacques Pitteloud moved to Washington DC, his residence was perfect. Too perfect. The Swiss ambassador's residence sits on six acres on a hill with an awesome view of the Washington Monument. "I was amazed by the beauty of the whole setting…It looked like a golf course and I don't like golf courses… they are ecological disasters," Ambassador Pitteloud reflected. Together with...

In the last 24 years, Judy has moved approximately 16 times for her husband's military career. But her family has finally settled down in a lovely house with a yard near Annapolis, Maryland. Now Judy is hoping to transform her outdoor space into something that's beautiful and environmentally friendly. On this episode of How To!, Doug Tallamy explains why, now more than ever, we need people like Ju...

Elaine picked up watercolor painting during her two year, cross country RV adventure with her family. She quickly fell in love with gorgeous nature scenes and found the creative process meditative and healing. But now she's wondering if her art could be something more. On this episode of How To!, multitalented artist Aaron Dworkin has tips for Elaine and other aspiring artists on how to live a 'po...

Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don't treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he's going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day wh...

Every time Karen gets a phone call from her adult children her heart sinks. Even at age 23 and 21, they're usually calling with a problem. She's received calls for everything from flat tires to mental health emergencies. While she loves her kids and wants to always be a safe place for them to land, she really wants them to gain more independence. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Arthur Broo...

For a lot of would-be parents, adoption isn't the first path that comes to mind. But that's how Victoria, a PhD student, is leaning right now. Even though she's not planning to have a family for a few more years, it's never too early to start preparing for what can be a long, arduous process. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Marcia Chatelain , Pulitzer Prize winning author , professor of hi...

In 2019, Brenda took a year off from their PhD program to try to feel pleasure again…with anything. Brenda has come a long way since then but there's one thing that's still elusive—they've never experienced an orgasm. Whenever they try, anxiety kicks in and they're left feeling frustrated and, in their words "broken." On this episode of How To!, we bring in Ev'Yan Whitney , sex educator, author ,...

Erin thinks her dog Chief has the most embarrassing habit—he keeps eating her daughters' underwear. This has happened several times, resulting in multiple costly surgeries. If she doesn't put a stop to it, it could eventually kill Chief. How can she get her dog to behave and, more importantly, get her teenage daughters to put their underwear in the hamper? On this episode of How To!, Jenny Slate,...

Coming out of the worst of the pandemic, a lot of us need to relearn how to socialize, from what to say to what to wear. Our listener, Kristen, is headed back to the office and wants to feel like a boss. The only problem? She looks at her wardrobe and doesn't know where to begin. On this episode of How To!, we bring in celebrity stylist Leesa Evans to give her a crash course in clothing. Leesa has...

We all know the country is deeply fractured right now, and that's especially true in our politics. There is vitriol, bitter partisanship and an expectation that in order to succeed you need to beat up on your opponent. So is it possible to fight for your beliefs, remain civil and still win elections? On this episode of How To!, we brought together two politicians from either side of the aisle who...

Karin always thought of herself as the mom of two boys—that is, until last year when her oldest child told her they were nonbinary, meaning they don't identify as either male or female. Karin loves her kid deeply, but she's struggling to get used to their new name and pronouns, especially because her town—and husband—aren't very accepting. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Lisa DelCol, a fel...

Elizabeth's son Lucas is a talented athlete who wants to compete in track and field at an NCAA Division One school. But so far he's been running away from doing any research or planning. His mother, Elizabeth, wants to help him be recruited and maybe even get a scholarship. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Steve Magness , performance expert, former track coach for the University of Houston,...

Daniel seems to be the whole package. He's smart, social, and has lots of friends. He even organizes a beach volleyball league in Berlin. But he can't seem to land a date despite his best efforts. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Andrea Silenzi , dating aficionado and host of the acclaimed dating podcast Why Oh Why . She knows what it's like to put a ton of effort into dating and not land t...

After experiencing multiple instances of sexual assault, Julia often feels sexually disconnected from her own body. She wants to be aware of her boundaries and find pleasure in new relationships going forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jamila Dawson , licensed marriage and family therapist, and August McLaughlin , health and sexuality journalist and host of Girl Boner Radio. Together...

When Samantha and her husband moved from a condo to a fairly large house, they knew they'd have a lot of updating and upkeep to do. But they had no idea how much time their new chores would gobble up. Or even what chores to do. (If only there was a guide to adulting!) Even when they weren't holding themselves to picture-perfect standards, it still felt like they were barely keeping their heads abo...

When Betsy joined her last workplace, she thought it was a perfect fit. It was on a list of Best Places to Work and she got to be creative while helping people. But as the startup rapidly grew, the company culture changed and Betsy started to lose herself amid the stress. Then she got laid off. Honestly, Betsy was relieved, but now she's gotta figure out what's next. On this episode of How To!, we...

When the Taliban took over Afghanistan in August, the Female Tactical Platoon, a unit of elite Afghan soldiers, knew they had to evacuate. "If they were captured, they would be killed," according to a Green Beret who worked alongside them because they were "an affront to everything the Taliban stood for." Ellie , a U.S. Army Captain, moved earth and heaven to get them to America. But navigating th...

The town of Dartmouth, Massachusetts is in the middle of a mascot debate that's escalated quickly. Our listener Keith grew up there and his kids attend the high school in question. He's been vocal about his support for changing the school's Indian warrior logo but is wondering if there's a better way to solve this issue than trading barbs with the opposition. On this episode of How To!, we bring o...

When Mike was wracked with a series of unexplained headaches in 2017, he initially chalked it up to being a stressed out grad student. But the pain became debilitating and his symptoms only multiplied from there. His doctors are stumped and Mike doesn't know where to turn next. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Meghan O'Rourke, author of The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness. Me...

You've probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it's easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you're writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen , bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life , and John Dickerson , co-host o...

If you were to pop by Mary Ann's PhD discussion group, you'd most likely find her quietly, but intently, listening to the debate going on around her. But when it comes time to actually throw in her two cents, she comes up short. She feels nervous. Her mind goes blank. And she leaves the session feeling frustrated that she didn't voice her thoughts. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Cuddy...

When a fellow employee started bullying Christy at her workplace she took the situation to her supervisor, Human Resources, and even filed grievances with her union. But the situation never improved. In fact, it got worse to the point where Christy had no choice but to walk away from her job of over 30 years. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Megan Hunter – co-founder and CEO of High Conflic...

After Zach heard our " How To Make Friends as an Adult " episode, which coincidentally featured all women, he and a few other male listeners wrote in questioning how useful it was for men. He wondered if we could address the unique challenges men face when it comes to making new friends. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Slate staff writers Dan Kois , author of How to Be a Family , and Ayman...

Courtenay has more than a few regrets, starting with her career. Despite her accomplishments as an opera singer, she wishes she'd prioritized her professional goals, become more proficient on the piano and with foreign languages. Then there are the personal regrets, like the elderly friend Courteney lost touch with — who then passed away. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel H. Pink , au...