How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything

As Jewish immigrants from the former U.S.S.R., Michael’s extended family endured a history of prosecution and genocide. But he finds that his parents lack empathy toward those seeking safety and freedom in the U.S. He's having a hard time understanding where they’re coming from. And an even harder time talking to them about it. An expert in negotiation and mediation has some advice for us all. Our...

Irina is ready to quit being the mediator between her Russian and Cuban parents and her younger, more Americanized brother. The role has strained her relationship with all of them, and, now that she has her own family, she wants to find the best way to change this dynamic—and to let them work things out on their own. A marriage and family therapist offers insights and techniques for anyone in this...

When COVID-19 hit, Harold quickly reshaped his routine to protect his family. At first, his parents also followed public health guidelines, but as the pandemic extended they began to relax their precautions, even having people stay over on weekends. Harold says he has been deeply impacted by their carefree approach, especially because he fears for his infant son’s health—and theirs. Plus: a COVID-...

TK grew up in a family of medical professionals. She followed in their footsteps and became a nurse, but had passion projects on the side. When she left nursing, her parents had a hard time understanding her new goals and the dreams she deems essential to her happiness. A career coach guides us in how to navigate career choices with skeptical loved ones. Our expert this week is Jasmine Escalera, a...

Perla, a paralegal, uses her training to help her dad navigate the federal COVID-19 relief process. But, when Perla takes charge, personalities clash and roles reverse. An old father-daughter dynamic comes back, and she’s left feeling undermined. A family therapist who works with Latino clients returns to guide us in finding better ways to get through these trying moments. Featured Expert :  Claud...

Deepa is a political journalist who thought she had set clear and practical boundaries with her parents. But, now that she’s living with them through the COVID-19 pandemic, she finds everyone at home falling into old patterns that disrupt her work and cross boundaries. Then, we hear from a business and leadership coach who offers pointers on how to recalibrate and refocus. Our expert on this episo...

Estefania was always close to her dad, but lately their relationship has been strained. Thanks to the Black Lives Matter demonstrations, they’ve been talking more about race and racism. It’s become clear they don’t see the issues the same way. Also, social justice doula who helps people put into practice their anti-racism gives Estefania and the rest of us the vocabulary that can lead to more hone...

Erika’s mom has always been a huge support for Erika and her sisters. But when Erika’s grandmother passed away in the Dominican Republic amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Erika wanted to support her during this difficult time. Figuring out what her mom needed—and didn’t—turned into a delicate dance of giving and receiving, for both of them. And a grief counselor implodes some myths about grief while off...

Louise has always helped her mom translate important documents and handle formal transactions. Recently, she helped her file for unemployment insurance during the COVID-19 pandemic — and it caused friction between them. An expert shares techniques and resources that Louise and other first-gens with this responsibility can use to alleviate the pressure and extra work that result when we want to sup...

Tatianna has always questioned authority. As a girl, she’d push back on rules, gender roles and limitations, annoying her family, and especially her dad. As an adult, her feminist ways clash with his machismo. A therapist who focuses on Latinas, men and the families who love them joins the show to help Tatiana and the rest of us find a better way. Featured Expert : Claudia Cuevas is a Licensed Mar...

Mitzi’s mom is her best friend. They talk on the phone daily and have a great relationship. But when her mom started getting sick, it was a race against the clock to make sure she had the care and legal protections she needed. Professor of Law María Mercedes Pabón offers advice on broaching the conversation and gets into the documents our parents should have in place years before they think they n...

Walter’s parents encouraged him to get an education. They didn’t care where, they “just wanted to see the word university or college at the end.” But as the first to go to college, while at an Ivy League school and then law school, Walter struggled to share his experiences — triumphs or frustrations — with them. Our pro this episode talks about experiencing college with our parents at our side. Ou...

Kenia's dad was always the life of the party. But then he became moody and confrontational. Small disagreements would turn into big fights. There were a lot of highs and lows. Kenia worked hard to understand his diagnosis and meet him on his own terms. And a therapist teaches us how to notice if a family member is struggling with their mental health. Our expert, Blanca E Amaya is a Licensed Clinic...

Merk's parents have always been her biggest cheerleaders. They've always encouraged her to take the life they've given her and transform it into something of her own. But since moving out on her own, she worries that she won't develop her own identity beyond the "dutiful daughter" she feels pressure to be. Featured Expert:  Sara Stanizai (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and th...

Adela loves her dad. “He’s a great husband, a great grandfather, and I just would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship,” she says. There’s just one thing: he voted for Trump because of where he stands on Israel. And now she’s wrestling with her abiding love for him and the political rift it may cause in the family. Our expert, Victoria Defrancesco Soto, is a political scientist and the...

Lory lives in Paris, where COVID-19 shut down the city of lights as the pandemic ravaged Europe. Her mom lives in New York, which weeks after Paris went on lockdown would become the American epicenter. But Lori could not convince her mother to take, what she believed, were necessary precautions. Our expert, Dr. Pam Thompson, is a psychologist, professional life coach and the author of "Surviving M...

Casey’s parents both work in healthcare, but that does not always keep them from believing and sometimes sharing false information whose sources are dubious at best. A pro helps us understand the challenges inherent in this situation and work through tools to empower our loved ones. Featured Expert :  Michelle Ciulla Lipkinis the Executive Director of the National Association for Media Literacy Ed...

Sandra Morales’ mom made a life-threatening decision as COVID-19 escalated in New York City. Family therapist Evelyn Hernandez Brown listens in and helps us with setting boundaries, adjusting expectations, and the work that follows in the “repair” phase. Featured Expert :  Evelynn Hernandez-Brown, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Oakland, California. She specializes in culturally res...

We're a show about family — about how to talk with the people you love when you feel like you. just. can't. Every week, I’ll talk to an adult child of immigrant parents who’s having a hard time broaching a taboo subject, feeling not heard or understood, AND ready to try something NEW. No subject is off limits.  Raising children, coming out, religion... We’re going to get into it. We’d love to hear...