How To Survive The Classroom

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The box finally arrived. My book is officially here! I’ve worked on it for years, but now that I’m holding it, I’m having a total crisis.. I can’t even look at the pages without feeling nauseous.. Gerry, of course, thinks I should just popcorn read it to my students like it's a fifth-grade class and car...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have you heard the news? Apparently, the First Lady thinks we might need a robot in the classroom. Today, Gerry and I are breaking down the "AI humanoid robot" pitch and why we’re a little skeptical that a faceless machine can handle a middle schooler with a paperclip and a dream. Gerry is convinced that...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have you ever booked a hotel so sketchy that even the Uber driver took one look and canceled the ride? Because that was my weekend in Essington, Pennsylvania. I’m joined by Chicago-based interventionist and comedian Jayson Cross, who, despite being 47, looks like he’s microdosing youth because he hasn’t age...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ I have a confession to make: I am officially eating my words from last week. My husband, who actually went to Yale for medicine, informed me that basically everything Ms. Dugan and I said about male anatomy was 100% wrong. We had the confidence of straight white men, but we were batting zero. In this episod...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Today, we're joined by my fellow high school English teacher and total girl’s girl, Miss Molly Dugan. We’re diving into the absolute chaos of being a teacher on the internet, from people trying to pit us against each other to the "sourdough baddie" comments that have basically become an inside joke at this po...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My kids were sick. My husband was sick. My babysitter got sick. Somehow I was the only one left standing, which honestly felt suspicious. Meanwhile, I was traveling for shows in Washington, DC and Philadelphia, performing for teachers… and accidentally for a group of 40 people who absolutely did not know who we...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Gerry came to my house for the Indianapolis show, insulted my daughter’s dental hygiene via the Tooth Fairy, may or may not have been exposed to Flu B, and then drove 11 hours home fueled almost entirely by marshmallows. So yes. We have a lot to unpack. We talk about the Terre Haute experience (including Gerry’s...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Teacher besties… I turned 39. Which means, naturally, I decided to spiral publicly and create “52 Weeks Until 40” as content instead of processing my feelings privately like a normal person. This episode has everything. Gerry trying to convince me to buy Crocs as a personality pivot. A listener question about burno...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Matt Eicheldinger is back and somehow since the last time he was on, he’s casually signed over a dozen book contracts, written across multiple age ranges, and is now launching a dystopian trilogy. Meanwhile, I’m still over here arguing with copy editors about commas. We talk about what self-publishing actually look...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Teacher besties… this episode has everything: licensure panic, conspiracy theories about teacher testing companies, medical dramas I probably shouldn’t have described in detail, and one first-year teacher who is being absolutely swarmed during passing period. Gerry is in his final form of teacher paperwork chaos, gri...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Gerry is back after what can only be described as the Ice Age: Wake County Edition, we compare notes on barely meeting our students, and I realize, once again, that trusting Facebook teacher groups might be a dangerous choice. We also talk about something huge in my life: my husband decided to try stand-up comedy for t...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Teacher besties… this episode is a little heavier than usual, but it’s one I felt I needed to record exactly as it is. Lately, the news cycle has been overwhelming, and as teachers, we don’t get the luxury of tuning it out, because our students bring it straight into our classrooms. In this episode, I talk honestly about...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠ I’m fresh off Teacher’s Lounge shows in Seattle and Portland (cities I was told to fear, but absolutely adored), and Gerry is coming back to work after a winter break so long it fully erased his sense of time, purpose, and identity. We talk about Pacific Northwest vibes and play a game that asks the important question: is...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠ Teacher besties… this episode is what happens when you let me and Gerry talk long enough to uncover each other’s secret side quests. I found out Gerry is casually coaching middle school basketball, we unpack why coaching parents somehow feel less terrifying than classroom parents, and I confess that my basketball career was...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠ Teacher besties… this episode officially marks a new era, and honestly? It’s already unhinged. I’m joined by Gerry (yes, that Gerry), and we immediately get into important topics like whether Terre Haute feels like witness protection, why Florida keeps rewarding me while Jerry watches from afar, and how I accidentally ended up...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠ Teacher besties… I am recording this episode with teeth that feel like exposed electrical wiring, so if I sound unwell, it’s because I am unwell. I decided to get my teeth professionally whitened, and let’s just say the pain level was somewhere between “natural childbirth with a broken epidural” and “why did I do this to myself....

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — https://bit.ly/43BquPd Teacher besties… this episode I’m talking about hosting nearly 30 people for Thanksgiving (including a self-appointed “Director of Thanksgiving”), discovering my husband’s family may have some intense World War II memorabilia, and the moment I suddenly had to ask, “Was he… on the right side?” And then, because the universe wasn’t...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! - https://bit.ly/43BquPd Teacher besties… this week I brought on one of my favorite chaotic humans: the hilarious Gerry Potoka, comedian, teacher, and man of mysteriously undefined licensure. In this episode, Gerry and I try to pinpoint what he actually teaches, debate whether PE tests are secretly impossible, unpack his “desk art collection,” and discove...

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — https://bit.ly/43BquPd This week I’m talking about the grading spiral that made me question my entire career, the wild field-trip confessions my five-year-old brought home, and the absolute unhinged energy that middle schoolers bring into any art room with a blank sheet of paper. And the voice memos? Oh, they’re next-level. One features a crime scene so...

In this episode, I’m unpacking how something as innocent as kombucha sent my entire life into chaos… how my own child managed to humiliate me in public with the confidence of a man three times his size… and why I found myself saluting a complete stranger at a gas station like we’d been through battle together. Plus, your stories this week? Unhinged. We’re talking ski masks, mystery backpacks, “not...

In this episode, I’m talking about everything from a wildly out-of-place operatic performance at my dinner table… to a voice memo that had me reconsidering every teacher’s unspoken job description… to the moment I accidentally confessed to a German felony because I couldn't understand what anyone was saying. And yes, there’s a story in here about nipples. And lotion. And regret. Plus, I’m finally...

This week, I owe Texas an apology. Between discovering that Tex-Mex might be the best food on Earth and listening to a kindergarten voicemail about baby mama drama, I had no idea where this episode would go. But then my kids started planning how to get rid of a body, a student declared his future as a midwife, and somehow we still managed to end with a heartwarming story about my sister’s new baby...

A re-release from last years thanksgiving episode! In this special Thanksgiving episode I sit down with Denver Riley to dive into a blend of holiday trivia, teacher humor, and unexpected insights. As we tackle Thanksgiving history questions (with some questionable accuracy), Denver and I find ourselves navigating through fun facts, turkey anatomy, and relatable teaching stories. We also discuss De...

This week’s episode had me clutching my pearls and questioning everything I thought I knew about middle schoolers. We got a voicemail about a student caught doing something unthinkable during class and somehow, it gets worse. Teachers, you are not paid enough for this level of trauma. Then, I share the foreword from my upcoming book They Never Taught Us That, talk about what inspired it, and revea...

This week I learned that parenting might actually be harder than teaching. It started with my five-year-old asking questions about his “balls,” escalated into my husband giving a full anatomy lesson, and ended with me praying his kindergarten teacher doesn’t get a surprise lecture about semen. Then we hear from a teacher whose classroom window literally exploded mid-class (because of a rogue lawnm...