How to Love

In this public episode of  How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss moving from fear to love; they also discuss why acceptance, control, and safety are the primary aspects of a fear-based mindset. Listen to the rest of episode 35 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of  How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss the bliss and budens of "new relationship energy," why lust disapates during periods of prolonged presence, and several ways to cultivate independence. Listen to the rest of episode 34 at patreon.com/howtolove .  

In this public episode of  How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss the simple foods they eat most frequently, how humans have made eating unnecessarily complex, midset shifts to avoid boredom even when on a highly restrictive diet, seeking deep nourishment, and JFM's framework of "will I be glad I ate this tomorrow?" Listen to the rest of episode 33 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of  How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss ending a relationship mindfully, the downside of compassion in a divorce, graduating from past relationships, and the inevitability of conflict in corrosive relationships, and they introduce the concept of "emotional bricks." Listen to the rest of episode 32 at patreon.com/howtolove .  

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss missmatched libidos, being flexible when it comes to meeting each other's sexual needs, and how health dramatically affects sex drive and overall vitality. Listen to the rest of episode 31 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss why they prefer to spend very little time with other people, how they prioritize showing up for others as "the best version of themselves," the best time to discuss expectations, and when to distance yourself from someone; plus Bex talks about being a "hot house plant." Listen to the rest of episode 30 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss keeping their connection alive after seven years, being comfortable with your partner, and actively working to avoid complacency so that you don't take your partner for granted. Listen to the rest of episode 29 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss embracing physical distance to increase attraction, how close proximity decreases physical interest, why redefining sex can drive sexual tension, and their willingness to renegotiate norms and routines around sex. Listen to the rest of episode 28 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss their reading preferences, Joshua's love of fiction, their favorite authors, and they share a few book, essay, and memoir recommendations. Listen to the rest of episode 27 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss the fulfillment of fantasies; the conflation of "love," "like," and "lust"; and loving someone even if they can't fulfill your personal fantasy. Listen to the rest of episode 26 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss "only-child criticism," why needing validation and acceptance is a prison, what "real" parenting is, letting go of the impulse to have a mom-tribe, and being disinterested in commiserating. Listen to the rest of episode 25 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss finding enjoyment during sex even when you're stuck in your head; the empowering and disempowering stories we tell ourselves about sex, self-esteem, and relationships; and exploring non-traditional solutions to sexual incompatibility. Listen to the rest of episode 24 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss why it's perfectly fine to be superficial, why superficiality isn't wrong or bad, and why a superficial person doesn't necessarily lack of depth. Listen to the rest of episode 23 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss the role of self-love in intimacy, finding perfection, noticing how we've been programmed to be dissatisfied with ourselves, and more. Listen to the rest of episode 22 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss what passion is; the enormous differences between commitment, obligation, and devotion; and how our tolerance of suffering may change. Listen to the rest of episode 21 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss spending time together versus time alone, the fallacy of "the one," allowing our partner's autonomy, working through insecurity, and defining expectations. Listen to the rest of episode 20 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss untangling feelings, freedom, and love. Listen to the rest of episode 19 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss sexual awkwardness, the desire for novelty, the effects of monogamy on testosterone levels, and why reunion sex is often the best. Listen to the rest of episode 19 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua talk about viewing sex as a way to bring pleasure to your partner even when you don't desire it yourself, removing expectations and entitlement around sex, approaching sex with a playful attitude, and options for when you and your partner have fundamentally different sexual needs. Listen to the rest of episode 17 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua talk about mediocre relationships, Bex's personality, what people want in a relationship, and why it's important to understand what you're willing to tolerate. Listen to the rest of episode 16 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua talk about parental selfishness, the idea of "your body, your choice," the real price of having kids, and how an evolution of beliefs can lead to incompatibility in a relationship. Listen to the rest of episode 15 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua talk about how being a new parent inevitably changes other relationships, why expectations are tied to being offended, having too much of a good thing, asking for space, and approaching difficult conversations with an open heart. Listen to the rest of episode 14 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss the Myer's Briggs personality assessment and its limitations, introversion and extroversion in relationships, future-focused people, present-focused people, parental compersion, and being "deep happy" instead of "shallow happy." Listen to the rest of episode 13 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss decision making between logical and intuitive people, whether persuasion is coercion with a nicer name, being respectful, the wisdom of intuition, and the limitations of intellectual understanding. Listen to the rest of episode 12 at patreon.com/howtolove .

In this public episode of How to Love , Becca and Joshua discuss being in love, being loving, seeing things as they are instead of how we wish they were, how chemistry can get muddled by hormonal birth control, and how love is never defective, controlling, or conditional. Listen to the rest of episode 11 at patreon.com/howtolove .