Horror Movie Talk

We watched Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 on Prime and found a not often talked about sequel that pis the epitome of everything 80’s horror. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website . https://youtu.be/rd427TjMGxI Synopsis Doctor Channard is the lead doctor in charge of an insane asylum.  Kirsty, the protagonist from the original Hellrais...

Much like disposable tupperware, Orphan: First Kill rebels against the idea of a one-use premise. It ends up being the latest entry in the “meh” cinematic universe (MCU). https://youtu.be/mCa51cjcDNE Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram. Synopsis Orphan First Kill is a prequel to 2009’s Orphan, that starred, then 10 year old Isabelle Fuhrman . Now a fully grown adul...

We watched The Ring and were treated to one of the most impressive and scary PG-13 movies ever made. https://youtu.be/yzR2GY-ew8I The Ring can be streamed with a Paramount + subscription, or for a nominal rental fee wherever movies are found. Synopsis A videotape that has the power to kill those who view it seems to be at the center of a string of four teenage deaths.  Rachel Keller ( Naomi W...

Remember that hilarious Jordan Peele from sketch comedy shows like Mad TV and Key & Peele? Well he decided to make a movie, and I’m sure it’s going to be… hilarious. Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram. Synopsis Chris Washington, played by Daniel Kaluuya, is taking a vacation with his girlfriend to meet her family. Played by Allison Williams, his girlfrie...

We watched Cabin Fever on Hulu and were reminded of a simpler time when Eli Roth was allowed to make movies. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website . https://youtu.be/rHlc5aUSgUI Synopsis Karen ( Jordan Ladd ), Paul ( Rider Strong ), Bert ( James DeBello ), Marcy ( Cerina Vincent ), and Jeff ( Joey Kern ) are college students heading...

Prey takes the Predator franchise back to it’s roots by focusing on a mano a mano fight to the death. However, what this film does even better than the original is create a compelling protagonist with a clear character arc. Synopsis Prey is set in 1719 in the Comanche nation. Our protagonist, Naru is a young woman that wants to prove herself as a capable hunter by going through kühtaamia, a...

We watched The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence and were treated to one of the most lauded gross-out flicks in recent memory. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website . https://youtu.be/GpcCJ8ozirU Synopsis This is the unfortunate story of Martin, a diminutive, quiet, and overweight lad who doesn’t fancy senseless chit-chat. Martin is...

Jordan Peele’s third outing as a horror film writer/director, Nope, continues his trajectory as one of the best horror filmmakers of a generation. In Nope, he turns the trope of a UFO on it’s head and makes it a truly terrifying presence. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis After a freak accident involving falling objects from the sky kills their father, OJ (Da...

We watched Vampire’s Kiss on Vudu and it was a delightful window into the soul of one of the most impressive, interesting, and entertaining actors of our age, Nic Cage . https://youtu.be/PnoSxO_2ghQ Synopsis Publishing executive Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage) is bitten by a woman and starts acting erratically. Believing that he is being controlled by his vampire mistress puts a great deal of stress and...

Here’s a sneak peek of what our Patreon members at the “We All Spoop For Ice Spoop” tier get every month. This is an exclusive review for that tier and higher. Sign up to access all our previous pretentious episodes at our Patreon page .

Before Sarah Michele Gellar, Kristy Swanson brought Joss Whedon’s iconic vampire slaying heroine to the silver screen. Does this 90s relic hold up to scrutiny sans nostalgia? listen to our latest episode to find out. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis Buffy the Vampire Slayer, before she was an iconic television heroine was first found on the silver screen starring...

We watched Resolution on Tubi and were treated to something so meta that Facebook might have a case against them. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website . https://youtu.be/6-5uBCIA94c Synopsis Mike ( Peter Cilella ) heads out into the country to force his friend Chris ( Vinny Curran ) to quit his stimulant abuse after receiving a vid...

If you want to feel stranger danger, look no further than Scott Derrickson’s new film The Black Phone in theaters now. This well constructed and acted supernatural thriller is well worth your time. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis Pretty much all you need to know is in the trailer. In the late 70s in North Denver, there is a spate of missing children. Rumors aboun...

We watched Constantine on HBO Max and I realized that I had a bunch of unfounded ill-will toward this movie, which is pretty good. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website . https://youtu.be/DEa508Xmmio Synopsis Constantine is about John Constantine ( Keanu Reeves ), a DC character whose job is essentially to send demons back to hell....

Mad God is the new Phil Tippett stop motion animation movie available exclusively on Shudder . In this Patreon only review, we talk a lot about this movie and what we loved and hated about it. To support our show and gain access to the following Patreon only Pretentious reviews, support us on Patreon! Movies you can only hear us review on Patreon: Mad God (2022) The Vanishing Cat People (1942) Zom...

For Pride month this year, we decided to review a great LGBTQ+ horror movie. Saying Stranger By The Lake is a horror movie, is pretty generous, since it is more on the light end of thriller. But what it lacks in horror, it makes up in homoeroticism. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis At a French lake, Franke spends his summer days cruising for gay sex. Along the way he be...

We went and saw Crimes of the Future and witnessed David Cronenberg ‘s return to body horror in one of the most upsetting films of the year. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website https://youtu.be/xyCI741MqPY Synopsis Crimes of the Future is a story about the far flung future, where the earth has succumb to environmental havoc...

This film is the epitome of body horror, done by the master of body horror: David Cronenberg. If you have never seen The Fly, you’ll definitely be saying to yourself “Ew, David”. Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram) Synopsis Jeff Goldblum plays Seth Brundle, a brilliant scientist that has successfully developed a working transporter. When he shows it to Geena Davis...

We went and saw Men and, for most men it will be a similar viewing experience to staring into a mirror for an hour and a half. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website https://youtu.be/HKJ4Thgk1Js Synopsis Men is a movie about a woman named Harper ( Jessie Buckley ), because of course you can’t have men without women – or can you? Harper h...

Synopsis An American man marries a Serbian immigrant who fears that she will turn into the cat person of her homeland’s fables if they are intimate together. Review of Cat People (1942) Like most movies from the 40s, there is a lot of things you have to get used to stylistically before you can see through the time period and production quality to get to the value of the film. A few films sta...

Just like prodigy sang: I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter; You’re a firestarter, twisted firestarter. This Blumhouse remake of the 80s classic is more twisted, but is it worth a watch? Listen to our review to find out. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram Synopsis Firestarter is the second adaptation to Stephen King’s 8th novel. It tells the story of a young girl Charl...

We watched The Sadness before it was available for streaming in the US because we are a big time movie review podcast. I can easily say that this is one of the craziest movies I’ve ever seen, and will stick with me for a long time. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website https://youtu.be/VUR1DWh7eLs Synopsis The Sadness follows boyfri...

Don’t let the subtitles turn you off. This is one of the best theatrical horror movie releases of the year. The Hatching will stay with you, especially if you were raised by a narcissist . Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram Synopsis Finnish freshman director Hanna Bergholm heads this chilling talk of Tinja, a 12 year old gymnast and her toxic relationship with a giant bird pers...

We watched The Wailing on Shudder.com and found out just how badly a well meaning dad can fuck up his entire family. A lesson I learned long ago. @dgoebel00  on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his  website . https://youtu.be/43uAputjI4k Synopsis Jong-goo ( Kwak Do-won ) is a local policeman and caring father to Hyo-jin ( Hwan-hee Kim ), the precocious young daught...

The movie that launched a thousand stationary camcorders. Paranormal Activity cracked the code of found footage to make one of the most successful horror movies of all time. Listen to our review and see if it still holds up. Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram Synopsis Paranormal Activity follows Katie and Micah, young twenty-somethings that are steady dating and living with each othe...