Horror Movie Night

The end of the world won't come in the form of Rick Moranis, but actually a guy in a sparkly trenchcoat sporting extreme coke nails and a penchant for underaged girls. Which is funny, because watching 1989's Monster High would make even the biggest horror fanatic wish for planetary destruction, just so they wouldn't have to finish it. Lucky for you, we watched it and are here as a cautionary tale....

Picture this: you and your best bro (and the rich geek you talked into driving) are hanging out in a seedy strip club, trying to pick up a lady of the night to take back to the frat house for a party. Through the sea of writhing bodies, stale booze and impermeable shame, you see Grace Jones do the most inhuman, bloodless interpretive dance on stage. You must have her. Forget the hot girl you kisse...

Are you ready to relive the murders of everything you love? You are? Well then you're ready to give a long, hard listen to our somewhat spoiler-free discussion of 2015's killer camp homage flick "The Final Girls!" What started as a short episode (due to the aforementioned lack of spoilers) took more turns into strange territory than a couple of horny counselors looking to bump uglies. Leave your s...

We're back with another Mailbag episode. We read some letters about Christmas favorites, answer a question about our origins and then share the cool shit we got for Christmas. We will be back Saturday with a brand new movie review! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this special (in the worst possible way) episode of Horror Movie Night, we give in to Matt's pleading and discuss Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Master! We collectively worry that Micky Rooney's blood sugar level was way too low throughout the filming of this movie, and mourn for Clint Howard's unintentionally auspicious acting career. It's Christmastime, spend it with the father of your...

We hope your god pukes guns and your beef jerky mankini is all shined up, because it's time to discuss the absolute insanity of ZARDOZ! The guys have mixed feelings about Sean Connery's boner powers and the questionable decisions made by everyone involved in this production, and need to work through a couple things. Join us in the Vortex for another episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about...

What better way to spend the weekend with your bandmates/b-fries than ruining a condo and being pursued by a guy with the most wildly impractical murder weapon imaginable? This week, the guys break open the junk food and cheap champagne to discuss 1987's tongue-in-cheek slasher Slumber Party Massacre II! It's a toe-tapper, just make sure you're wearing shoes, because that carpet is just filthy......

Dust off your parka and grow out your handlebar mustache, the guys are taking you on a one-way trip to Canada for this week's discussion - Kevin Smith's Tusk! If you squint real hard, you might be able to see Russia, but you'll never find any value in this film. Our guest Kannon tries to change our minds and we try to change his... Who will triumph and who will be die of human/walrus stab wounds?...

Leave your logic at the door and don't forget to wipe your feet, cuz this week we're discussing Spookies! From the worst birthday surprises to farting muck men, there was a lot of WTF to cover, but Matt kept Scott and Adam from wandering too far into the spookiest house of horrors 1986 cinema could muster. Grab the Beano, it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.f...

Let's travel back to the gilded age of big hair, clock radio bombs and world-class pillow talk... no, not the 1980s, just the time we talked about 1980s killer pet flick ALLIGATOR! We've referenced this discussion enough that it finally warrants its own retroactive episode. Matt's love of this movie (and fear of dressing up as a pirate to pool parties) is infectious and his lines are smooth. Give...

In this first mailbag episode the gang takes letters about Bette Davis, movie suggestions and remember their days in the video store horror section. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the guys made the mistake of rewatching Creepshow 2. Adam and Scott were severely underwhelmed with an adult viewing of The Raft, and let their guest Kannon know it, while Matt did his best to keep the discussion from derailing even more. Get out the costume adhesive and glue a latex scrotum to your chin, it’s Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adch...

Happy Halloween from the HMN crew! As a special surprise, Matt forced Scott and Adam to watch one of his favorite Halloween films, Spaced Invaders. We don't want to spoil the fun, but Scott and Adam were less than pleased with this turn of events. Dust off your Martian bomber jacket and practice up on your best pop culture voice impressions, it's time to blow this turd up! Learn more about your ad...

If you haven't seen Poltergeist 3 yet, prepare to get carol anne'd. We took one for the team and discussed this steaming pile of carol anne, which led to much carol anneing by all parties involved. The in-camera effects were cool, but can they save this movie from an icy carol anne? Join us for another carol anne and find out on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone...

Get ready to lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll, cuz this week the guys are discussing 1986’s Trick Or Treat! Watch as the slightly-menacing heavy metal singer Sammi Curr unveils his plot to…do something from beyond the grave (we aren’t quite sure what, really). Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne make their respective appearances, and probably have spent the last 29 years regretting not tak...

Don’t put your clothes back on yet, you have 7 more minutes of screen time in Tobe Hooper’s expensive flop Life Force! Adam and Scott lose their minds to the space vampires, while Matt pushes up his glasses and focuses on the facts. The robot from Rocky also makes an appearance, because why not? It’s Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grab the sunscreen and a couple barrels of Roundup, we’re heading to The Ruins! While none of the guys can find anything nice to say about the characters, they do make you feel good about watching plants eat people. Hope you have the tequila ready, it’s Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, I do dee-clay-uh! This week we are discussing the Bette Davis/Joan Crawford cult classic Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Adam and Scott are surprisingly receptive to Matt’s choice of black and white suspense movies, so neither were tied up and incapacitated in their bedrooms after the podcast. Everyone’s pet birds made it out alive too, so we’re going to consider this episode of Horror Movie...

Hopefully you've bathed recently, because this film is going to make you feel dirty. A while back, the boys discussed Red White & Blue with guest picker Aubrie, and for once, Scott wasn't the bad cop! You're going to need your revenge served up with a heaping dose of penicillin - it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Better go into this one on an empty stomach, cuz this week’s discussion is Evil Dead 2013! One of us loses an eye, another loses an arm, and all of us lose our self-respect as we detox in the woods with Mia & company. If you ignore all warnings, including dead cats and scribbled alerts that reading the creepy book you found in the basement will turn all of your friends into fleshbags for murderous...

Ever wonder if the pretty girls in high school were actually evil? Well, grab your favorite Jell-O (lime), put on your favorite record (Low Shoulder) and shine up your favorite utility knife, cuz the boys are discussing Jennifer’s Body and have the answer! Scott finds himself eating lunch alone again, Adam wants to give Diablo Cody a swirly, and Matt’s just here for the soundtrack. Sing along to s...

Close your mouth and open your ears, cuz this week’s discussion is Night of the Creeps! Our guest Don waxes poetic about houseboats and his future robot upgrades, while Adam realizes he has handicap blindness. Zombified douchbags in tuxes, reanimated axe murderers, and the cop from Dr. Giggles make an appearance, so leave your human brains (they’re for a project) in the basement and join us for Ho...

This week, the gang delves into the backwater horrors of pit monsters, traditional inbreeding techniques, square-dancing and pottery. Listen in amazement to our guest Kanon’s insightful musings and hatred of incest babies! There’s also discussions of Old Testament angels and demons, mispronounced names and a lot of uncomfortable laughter. Ok, maybe it’s comfortable but don’t judge us. It’s another...

The guys dive into the bizarre world of Monkey Shines, a movie filled with more quadriplegic sex, adorable monkeys and green brain serum than you can shake a dead bird at. Scott is infuriated that Matt and Adam weren't head over heels for his "favorite George Romero film." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our second Retroactive Bonus Episode, we take you back to the magical night that Matt and Scott hung out in person and called Adam to discuss leech vomit, puppet powers, Toulon’s terrible anniversary gifts, and sexy Nazis… That’s right, we discussed 1991’s Full Moon release Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge! Listen for the origin of most of our current in-jokes, details on Matt’s kill room, a...