Hope when there was none

I will put on a trigger warning. Not that I was too graphic but just in case. This is a car version podcast and there is no video. I didn't want that distraction while driving. As always, please do something for you on your healing journey today. Whether it is to journal, talk with a friend, watch a funny movie, get out and exercise, create something, or dig out your bible. I share a bit of my rec...

As a side note, I reference "she" but men can also be survivors in an abusive situation. Apps ideas mentioned here can be found here: https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/mobile-apps-for-victims-and-survivors If you need to talk feel free to message me privately. After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life? Find me here- ⁠https://linkt...

What is Financial abuse? It's deeper than you think! It can look like: Giving an allowance to your partner with accountability for all of it. Not allowing your partner to have his/her name on any credit cards, banking, or loans. Not sharing decision making with your partner pertaining to financial issues. This and more in today's episode. After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize an...

I'm digging into Emotional abuse on today's episode! Here's what it can look like: Emotional abuse- The abuser's psychological or mental violence can include anything that impacts the mental health and well being of their partner. Examples- name calling, insults, put downs crazy making, blaming the victim for everything jealousy, unfounded accusations of cheating intimidation shaming, humiliation...

Verbal abuse is the first topic of an 8 part series where I dig deep into what abuse is and the different types. You can find more information here- httls://facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone Have you ever heard the childhood rhyme, "Sticks and stones, may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?" You can actually find many examples of this here- https://literarydevices.net/sticks-and-stones-ma...

Leaving someone that is toxic in a relationship is hard! The decision is not made lightly or without much thought. This can be between you and a family member or an intimate partner. I mentioned copying documents and here is the list: If you are concerned your partner will notice these are gone make copies of the original and leave the copies! Marriage/Birth certificates Social Security cards Bill...

Gatekeeping sounds like some sort of gaming thing, but it can be darker than this. It is where someone is controlling opportunities, power, resources, and who get these. You can see this in any type of relationship, and you are also capable of doing this! Anytime you have monitored someone and nitpick or take over the task... Yep, that is gatekeeping! There are questions you can use yourself and t...

Abuse can happen between anyone. Whether this is between you and a family member, friend or intimate partner. Answer me this: Do you make excuses for this persons poor behavior? Do you dread seeing them or feel exhausted with them or after seeing them? Is there always the same excuse for why they hurt you? Does this person say that "they" are the victim? If this person makes you cry, intimidates y...

Abusers don't see the world as we do. They see no fault in their behavior. Abusers will tell others that you were the cause of the demise of the break-up. Question your sanity. You may feel: Scared, depressed, confused, and angry The abuser may: Use the legal system against you. Pressure the kids to tell him things about you. If your kids have a cell phone/computer he may gather information about...

With any one of these there can use the tactics of - isolating the victim, creating a dependency with the abuser, or may have other mental health issues. Can cause victim to become depressed, have a breakdown, or commit suicide. A proper diagnosis needs to be from a licensed Counselor or Therapist. Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence...

*Trigger warning!* Sexual abuse can be hard to talk about. Victims can experience a wide range of unwanted assaults. It may become difficult for a victim to develop trust with intimate partners. Here are a few examples of what it can look like. If you relate to any of these please contact a shelter, counselor, or law enforcement. If you need to talk I am happy to hold space for you. After listenin...

*Trigger warning!* This month has been a bit busy and I have not gotten these out as planned. Life happens! On today's unscripted episode I dove into answering a common question that I often hear. How do you start over after a toxic relationship?

Words you may come across frequently while dealing with an abuser: Baiting Boundaries Hoovering Love bombing No Contact and more on today's episode. #healingjourney #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticabuseawareness #narcissistsurvivor #toxicrelationship

Pet abuse is a difficult topic as well as reason many survivors stay in abusive relationships. An abuser may threaten harm to kill the pet if the survivor wants to leave. Signs to looks out for: - Anxiety- Fear responses- Flinching- Limping and many more Abusers may harm pets by/with: - Physically harming - Torture - Neglect - Sexual abuse... For more information on the Purple Leash Project: https...

It can be hard to spot an abuser but there are things you can look out for. Is this person: - Controlling - Moody - Complaining all the time - Have strange sexual needs or requests, and they don't respect your boundaries? - Jealous - Cruel/ Sarcastic and find more on today's episode!

Grooming is the topic for today's episode. We usually picture grooming as something that happens between a child and adult but this can happen between adults as well. This is a gradual process in order to gain the trust of a person in order to have control and take advantage of someone. This can look like: Romantic, sexual, financial, materially and more! The victim can become withdrawn or depress...

You may find it hard to figure out if the relationship you are in is unhealthy when you are in it. Consider talking with a trusted family member or friend for their opinion of this person. You may feel defensive of their thoughts but remember to try to keep an open mind. Here are a few things you may take notice of: - The relationship is intense FAST! - You catch the person in lies - They are cont...

It can be hard to understand why someone would stay in a toxic relationship. I have heard people say: 🌩 She/he must like it! 🌩 I don't understand why she/he won't just leave! 🌩 How stupid is she/he?! 🌩 He/she is so wonderful! Why are they not happy/lying about how "bad" he/she is?! What happens behind closed doors is a mystery. Many secrets/poor behaviors are passed down from generation to generat...

Besides physical abuse there are many more: Financial Emotional Immigration Mental Spiritual Verbal Child Elder After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life? Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠ ⁠https://www.dom...

*Trigger warning!* It's Day 1 of the 31 days about Domestic Violence Awareness. I'll be coming on sharing bits of information and parts of my own story. Today, I dove into the origin of DVAM. You can find the podcast on your favorite listening platform. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, please know there is help and you are not alone! Feel free to message me privately for reso...

*Trigger warning* Pregnancy is supposed to be a time of happiness and joy. But, what happens if you're partner is not happy with this bundle of joy? You may experience your partner being: -Jealous at different stages of your pregnancy or after the baby arrives -Abuser denying you food or medical attention -Pressure you into being intimate or not give you a choice -Use the child as a weapon aga...

Taking a media break can be helpful to your peace of mind. I hadn't realized how much the news on TV or in the newspaper was adding to my stress. Being mindful of what causes you distress can be so helpful and important! If you are listening to music, or that heart pumping movie/show how is it showing up in your body? Is your, neck/shoulders tense? Do you notice you feel jumpy? Do you feel emo...

Today I flew by the seat of my pants and went "Live" in my Facebook group, The Survivors Cafe, find this here- https://www.facebook.com/groups/724081331311924 Find healing tips and suggestions on today's episode! I do have a tool you can use to help creatively narrow down on those that are supportive in your life. You'll need paper, pen/crayons/colored pencils/markers for this ea...

I often hear, "Melinda, how do I know if I'm healing?" It can be hard to notice and you may not feel like you are making progress on your healing journey here are some signs to lookout for... 💗 Setting Boundaries without guilt. 💗 Making "You" a priority. 💗 You feel more confident and more...

So what is the Grey Rock Method? It was first mentioned by a blogger named Skylar who wrote an article on  180rule.com.  In 2009 after leaving a relationship she poured out her story to a stranger. After she shared he told her that he was a malignant narcissist. He then told her what he did to his girlfriend when he experienced something similar. The idea is that your responses are as exciting as...