Holding the Light: Sharing Hope After Child Loss

Every day Dawn carries her heavy grief, alongside endless love for her son Krys, but she never carries the guilt or responsibility that often plague parents of child loss to suicide. In this podcast, this brave Mom candidly shares how the demons and drugs were bigger and stronger than her 30-year-old son.  Her peace comes in knowing he is safe, in loving the son he left behind, and helping others...

In a very special interview, Colby and I had the complete joy and honor of talking with Cidny Bullens, a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, who is known for being a backup vocalist for Elton John, singing lead vocals on the Grease soundtrack, and has nine critically-acclaimed solo albums. Cid humbly shares how the deep grief of child loss transformed his life, in more ways than one—including infl...

When your child dies by suicide, it presents unique circumstances that can intensify and sometimes prolong and complicate the grieving process for parents. Tom Howard is slowly reassembling the pieces of his own shattered life after the loss of his son, Eli.  He shares the mental health challenges his son  faced, as well as his personal reflection on how men and women grieve differently, and yet h...

It’s so hard to move forward after the loss of a child. Hard for grieving parents to find their place in the world; to maintain their role as a parent, a daughter, son, or friend. Remembering who  they  are, and what makes them happy. Taryn Murray takes us back to the heart- wrenching moment when she was told her 21-year-old son Jakob had died in a motorcycle accident. She shares the challenges of...

When you are suffering with the most difficult grief of child loss, in your deepest despair, you sometimes question your mental well-being. But how do you know when grief becomes a mental health crisis? Kirstie Martin knew the difference one day, and sought help that saved her life.  We are humbled to share her brave story, and celebrate the love and legacy of her son, Brady.  Kirstie is the found...

Is grief different for parents of only children?  Charlie Hartman’s answer surprised us.  But what didn’t, is the lifetime of grief she now bears after the death of her 30-year-old son, Alec. Her voice lights up when she says his name, as it brings her great joy to share his life and legacy. Charlie is very candid about Alec’s challenges  with Aspberger’s Syndrome, and the struggles he faced with...

When Lisa Reilich suddenly lost her 18-year-old daughter Maiah in a tragic accident in 2020, she dug deeper into the meaning of “transitioning” and discovered new ways to know her daughter, and, continue their relationship. Lisa shares the personal revelation of surrendering to her grief, and, how she holds her grief now, so that she might help others walking the same path. Her words, both in conv...

Grieving the loss of your child is very personal—and private—until your loss becomes part of a national tragedy. Deb Roberts shared her grief with people around the country, as we held our collective breaths waiting to hear the fate of the 33 crew members aboard the SS Elfaro in 2015. Her son, Michael Holland, was among the heroes lost at sea. In this, our final podcast of 2022, Colby and I have a...

Four words a parent never wants to hear: your child has cancer. How would you talk with your 11-year old child about his own mortality? We wondered, when you anticipate your child's death, when does the grief journey actually begin? Amber Poulin answers these questions and more, as she bravely shares her story, and the lifetime of love she will continue to have for her son, Jayden, since his...

The holidays are especially challenging for grieving families.  Colby and I were honored to talk with Mark Jose, a professional grief counselor, longtime Hospice volunteer, and grief support group facilitator.  In this episode, Mark helps shatter the myths of holiday grief, shares suggestions for surviving,  as well as the greatest lesson he has learned about just how strong and powerful grief rea...

If you tuned into our most recent podcast, you had the opportunity to meet Amanda Garay, who bravely shared the loss of her younger brother Chris, to suicide. This week, we are joined by Amanda’s and Chris's Mom, Cathy Langlais, who says, the only thing that comes close to the pain of hearing about the loss of her only son, was having to tell her only daughter. In this very personal interview...

Siblings are your first friends, the keeper of your earliest childhood memories, the people you expect and plan to be part of your future. In this week’s podcast, Amanda Garay shares her deep love, and the lifelong grief she now bears after her younger brother Christopher died by suicide 7 years ago. Chris, she says, was the perfect example of how "everything seemed perfect”-- all part of an...

What is the grief season? For parents of child loss, it is often the days, weeks and months that surround the date their child died There is a distinct, time leading up to the moments of before, and the painful realization following the after. We walk beside grief every single day, but there is something so palpably different when your body and mind pass through that sacred space of time every yea...

Imagine, for a moment, rushing to a hospital after learning your child has been in an accident, only to discover that there is no chance of survival. Helen Beesley has lived this nightmare, and shares the decision her family made to allow her 22-year-old daughter Candace to become an organ donor. Seventeen years later, Helen now shares her grief journey with us, which includes  honoring her daught...

Losing a sibling often changes the way you view your existence in the world. Brothers and sisters are the keepers of childhood memories, and are expected to be part of your future. Holly MacKenzie lost her big sister, and only sibling, to suicide, 20 years ago. In this week's podcast, she returns to those early, difficult days as a teenager navigating grief, and shares what she has learned ab...

Supporting a grieving friend who has lost a child doesn't, and shouldn't end. Ever. Because you don't "get over" it, or move on.  It is a lifelong journey. Which is why we're continuing our conversation in Part 2 of The Grief Secretary, with Dr. Stephanie Barthlolomew. Join us, as we discuss how grief changes the months and  years after loss, and how the ways you supp...

This is our first of  a special two-episode interview, sharing our personal experiences of how friends and family can support a grieving family after child loss. Colby and I are joined by our longtime family friend, Dr. Stephanie Bartholomew, who bravely and immediately stepped in when Cassidy died, to become what I have lovingly termed, my Grief Secretary. In this week’s podcast, we focus on the...

When your baby dies prematurely from miscarriage, stillbirth, or soon after giving birth, for many, the hope of becoming a parent dies, too. In this week's podcast, I had the privilege of spending time with an insightful mother who, 36 years after losing her first child to stillbirth, vividly describes, how, she says, her  "heart bled and her soul wept" for the daughter she never go...

When your child has been gone from this Earth for almost as long as he had lived, you are a true survivor of child loss. In this week's episode, Ann Ryan remembers the sudden loss of her only son Ernie at the age of 24, while he was fulfilling his dream of becoming a US Marine. She recounts the lessons she has learned in her grief experience more than two decades later, and offers advice for...

Grief is a very personal journey, especially for couples grieving the loss of a child. Each person processes differently, each in their own way, and in their own time.  In this week's episode, Ed Gould shares how he and his wife Lynn reacted and coped very differently after the sudden loss of their son Matthew; and how they found common ground on which to walk together along their path to hea...

Surviving child loss seems insurmountable most days for grieving parents.  But what happens when the unimaginable happens to your family again?  Emily Bessey shares her heartbreaking journey of losing her son Ezra to a genetic and terminal disease called spinal muscular atrophy, and her family's focus to raise awareness and funding for a cure through their amazing foundation called Hearts for...

Join us this week as we talk with Linda Hartkopf, who shares her very personal story about losing her 25-year-old son Dylan to the disease of addiction. Linda bravely recounts when her son's substance abuse began, their fight for Dylan's recovery, and how she has turned her grief into helping others.  Linda talks about her volunteer work with Operation Hope in Waterville, Maine, where sh...

Welcome to a podcast created for grieving families of child loss, and the people who support us.  A place to share our stories of hope and healing. Our opening trailer will shed some light on who we are, and how a seemingly crazy idea, turned into a special bonding and healing experience between this mother and her (now) 22-year-old son. Then tune into each episode, as we interview guests who shar...