Here's the Tower

  Episode 69 A lot of folks love the Statler Brothers, but their family-friendly image is just a little too squeaky clean. That’s why we’re proud to introduce The Dirty Statler Brothers. Special thanks to the people who made this disgusting episode possible. The fella who does our high voice singin’, that’s Pat McClimans. The voice of the woman who doesn’t care for music that isn...

  Episode 68 It’s that time of year, folks. In the summer, you picked your own apples. In late spring you picked your own strawberries. Well, it’s harvest time again. Bring the family on down to Appalachian mountain country to experience an authentic getaway. Finally, you can mine your own coal. Breathe in the dampness, rich with bug dust. Choose your own hopper in the unit train. Ride down...

  Episode 67 I saw you sitting across from me this morning on my commute. Then you stood up tall because it was your stop, but I’ll never forget the look of everything you touched after you coughed into your hand.

Your favorite one-minute audio adventure series – Here's the Tower – is coming back for another season of 13 brand new episodes. This season will be action-packed and some of the new episodes will be longer than a minute. The first new episode - clocking in at a massive one minute and 32 seconds - is coming on May 20, 2020. After that you’ll get a new episode every Wednesday for 13 weeks. Until th...

  Episode 66 I am ready to admit something to myself and to my listeners. I suffer from an affliction known as IPS, or Irritable Person Syndrome. Reported cases of IPS have grown in recent years as the world has been getting increasingly more annoying at an alarming rate. Vaping, gamers, fake lips, videos shot in portrait orientation, tapas, walking and typing, bloggers, missing font files, DJs, s...

  Episode 65 Nashville Masters presents The Statler Brothers Revealed. Riding a wave of success in 1982, the Statler Brothers purchased the former Beverly Manor Elementary School in Staunton, Virginia, where most of them had attended as children. They converted the school into offices for the group, installing a family-friendly museum and a garage for their tour buses.

  Episode 64 This week’s episode, it is in five-seven-five, they call it haiku. It’s Here’s the Tower, and my name is Scott Ritcher, haiku episode. I woke up early, at once I brewed the coffee, I took it to go. Dark like the winter, it warmed me on the inside, helping to wake me. Near a small forest, from my door to the bus stop, seven-minute walk. The book I borrowed, I forgot i...

  Episode 63 Standup comedian Chekhov Foxworthy wins over the crowd with some bits from his classic routine. If your bathroom selfie is taken with a Nokia 3390 telephone … you might be a Russian spammer. If you make your emails from Yahoo address … you might be a Russian spammer. If your profile photo has watermark of Shutterstock … you might be a Russian spammer. If you are from Jackson, Mis...

  Episode 62 Just a little soundtrack to accompany a minute of your autumn day.

  Episode 61 In this lesson we’ll learn some common phrases that will help you communicate when you visit Sweden. The text is printed below so you can follow along as you learn. You’ll be speaking like a local in no time at all. Little child – Dödgrävare. Sir – Skitstövel. Ma’am – Kärring. Hello, waiter – Hallo, kåtbock. Dear sir or madam – Din jäkla manshora. I’m happy to meet you – J...

Episode 60 Give it up, y’all! The reclusive Bard of Cornish is in the house.

  Episode 59 Did you know that babies don’t really enjoy beer festivals, concerts and loud restaurants with spicy food? Maybe your precious angel is trying to tell you something and everyone is getting the message except you.

  Episode 58 I’m so delighted whenever I get to hear feedback from you, my dedicated listening audience, so I thought I’d open up the phone lines and take your calls. Guest voice: Pat McClimans as the caller

Episode 57 Talking wrong is one of my favorite ways to entertain myself. I have picked up many phrases over the years that I like to use in my everyday conversations. Foremost and first, phrases like “right arm” and “of corpse” are easy to quickly slip into a conversation so the person you’re speaking with doesn’t notice you’ve said anything different than...

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Episode 55 Tower loyalists are on hand to see the introduction and first demonstration of a new smart speaker and its cutting-edge conversational interface. All you have to do is say ‘Hey Tower’ and the device magically responds to your voice commands. So, like, hello world.

Episode 54 A dark cloud hangs over the season premiere as fans are stunned by the death of a beloved character from the Here’s the Tower Universe. Legendary sportscaster Marty Klein was best known as the voice of Baseball Simulator and rose to become the number one announcer of portable devices for artificial sports broadcasts. Our staff of writers – apparently disgruntled because their vaca...

Episode 53 A well-deserved vacation is in order for Here’s the Tower ‘s staff of 26 writers, five field producers, 38 actors, six cellists, four mechanics, one backend developer, two innovation engagement managers, one scrum master, an influencer… I mean con artist… one director of stakeholder alignment, a CRM specialist, two bartenders, a team of WiFi password guessers, an...

Episode 52 If you’re too busy or lazy to look at your smartphone, just pick up the old landline and one of our helpful assistants will walk you through all the latest posts in your social media feeds. Rachel Matchett returns to the program as the voice of your social media operator.

Episode 51 Another musical experiment is afoot as a lot of music gets packed into an unusual set of 28 measures.

Episode 50 Longtime listener Randy is on the line with some straight talk about the recent arrest of Julian Assange. The host of  Views on the News  fully agrees, “His goose is cooked.”

Episode 49 In the first episode of this multi-part series, Here’s the Tower’s investigative journalist team digs into an unsolved case from four decades ago. On April 24, 1979, the residents in the quiet town of Haniston, Kentucky, were left reeling in shock after three masked criminals pulled off a daring robbery at Pleasant Valley Savings Bank. Suspicions and theories still surr...

Episode 48 In this prequel to episode 10 of Here’s the Tower , the public relations team at Jurassic Park attempts to get out in front of some criticism by issuing a personal message from InGen founder John Hammond. Special guest voice by Allen Jones.

Episode 47 If you have never watched Netflix before, this quick recap will catch you up on pretty much all of their shows.

Episode 46 A portion of the Russian composer Modést Petróvich Mussorgsky’s delightful “Pictures at an Exhibition” is featured in this special broadcast from our friends at Radio Tower Classical.