Here's A Guy

The good news: it's nice enough out that I can sit on my porch as I write this. The bad news: this means I'm being reminded of what my yard looks like. It's a perfect storm of a bad yard-mowing situation. Last week it was oppressively hot, so hot that it you want to avoid yardwork for health purposes as much as being lazy. Then, immediately, it started raining a shitload. So now, not o...

We're just going to be up front about this. The episode description is going to be lacking this week. The reason is that the guy we make write these things is on strike. Now, we at Here's a Guy support organized labor, as we've said, so you may think we'd be establishing a dialogue to set up a more equitable working space for the description writer. Well, you would be wrong. Everyt...

Good morning! (ooweeooweeooweeoowee) Good morning! (ooweeooweeooweeoowee) Wake up Mr. West, Mr. West, Mr. Fresh, Mister by himself he's so impressed. Man, what a great song. Great album actually. Too bad that guy's like a Nazi for some reason now. That's what we call the 2020s conundrum. Actually I feel like we haven't heard from him in awhile. Is he doing that weird thing again wh...

Life, some say, is all about pain. The pain in your lower back as you enter your 30s. The pain of the oppressive daytime summer heat on your skin. The pain of your overweight cat jumping straight onto your junk. This episode, too, is about pain. Pain of repeated failure. Pain of electricity coursing through your body multiple times. Pain of your elbow ligament tearing off the bone. But you know wh...

I'm sitting out on the back porch writing this, and it's one of those summer nights where even after it gets late it's still warm out. There's also a nice breeze. It's delightful. One of those nights where the air actively feels good on your skin. Perfect. I've said before, summer nights might be my favorite combination of season/time of day there is. Unfortunately, it'...

The dictionary defines "two" as "the equivalent to the sum of one and one; one less than three." In my experience, this tracks. For example, usually our show has three hosts, but this week, one of them isn't here, so that makes one fewer, which means that we have two hosts. Is that right? I've been trying to spend less time smoking pot and more time playing with my bloc...

At work the other day we were asked to share something that makes us feel vulnerable. I declined to share the horrifying reality that the inane ramblings in the episode descriptions of my podcast are often places where I do demonstrate vulnerability. For one, in an exercise where people shared very heartfelt personal experiences, I probably would have gone over poorly if I used the occasion to pro...

I can't think of anything to say here this week. What can I say, sometimes the creative juices just stop flowing. Instead, in honor of summer, I'm going to post the lyrics to the seminal 2010 earworm "California Gurls" by Katy Perry in prose form. Ahem: I know a place where the grass is really greener. Warm, wet and wild: there must be something in the water. Sipping gin and juic...

We're sliding into summertime at Here's a Guy, and topics may be hot, but the hosts are oh so cool. Just kidding. That's actually an interesting question. Are the hosts of Here's a Guy what can fairly be considered "cool?" I'm not talking about among, like, Gen Z. I'm talking about among society at large. The hosts are too old for being cool to Gen Z to be a worth...

What a week. Whaaaat a week. What a weekarooni. Quite the week indeed. As you can tell, we've reach a time of year where you're not quite firing on all cylinders. Everything moving around, you're not sleeping great, you're not eating great, your brain just isn't the well-oiled machine it often is. It's definitely just the time of year and not anything else, so don't sen...

Good evening, everyone. At least it's evening here, for me. Not sure what you have going on. The weather is lovely, and I'm sitting on my back porch as I do this. I just installed some new lighting out back along my fence. One side has some fancy electric lights which give off a very aesthetically pleasant glow. The other side has solar lights, which aren't as bright but are more moral...

I won't lie, I'm pretty sleepy writing this one. We recorded late, for one. You'll have to listen to the episode to find out why. Spoiler alert, it involves a bunch of mulch. I also drank two tall boy hard seltzers while we recorded. Here in my elderly years, that's a lot to deal with on a weeknight. I've noticed in my old age that your body actually presents an alternative to...

Holy smokes, they've done it again. They've recorded another episode of this here show. How exciting. There's really not much that's going to make it stand out from the crowd of other Here's a Guy episodes. We like to think that means we've found a steady consistency, rather than some other theory. We're the backbone of your week. The reliable presence that makes your s...

Happy April 20th, everyone. A holiday celebrating the delightful intoxicant known as cannabis. Apparently in 2025, we're going to get a very funny occurrence, which is that Easter will be on 4/20. So there's your notice everyone, you have two whole years to come up with bits to do. Hopefully our country hasn't plunged into a holy civil war where Jesus jokes are punishable by death. Rec...

Welcome back everyone, and we hope you had a good Easter. Or Passover. Or whatever you did. JackJohn just grilled I think. And that's good. Unfortunately for him, I've decided to declare this an Eastern Orthodox Catholic podcast, and we've banished him for being disrespectful to our lord and savior Christ, who was sacrificed 2000 years ago so that we can be allowed to be unhappy and fo...

It's been a crazy week. Cody and JackJohn have been up to some fun shenanigans. Alex's craziest moments came at work and therefore relate to the carceral system, which is less fun to think about. Just the other day, we had 120 tornadoes in a single day. Isn't that wild? And I didn't even get to see any of them. I've been obsessed with tornadoes my whole life and I've never...

When doing a podcast, it's your obligation to the audience to every now and then do an episode that's just completely bonkers. Here at Here's a Guy, we felt that things had been getting (relatively- and I emphasize that word strongly) far too normal on this show. Well, this week should change that. This week, we've got thrills. We've got chills. We've got...JackJohn giving...

Hello world, and welcome to another fun, fun episode of Here's a Guy. That's how I introduce each episode, including this one. Sort of a catchphrase, if you will. The goal was always to find a catchphrase. but rather than something clever or inventive, it wound up just being some thing I say to no consequence. Fitting for how we do things, admittedly. The charitable interpretation is to ca...

It's starting to feel like Spring. It's chilly, but not in the same way that fall is chilly, you know? Like, it's not crisp. What air quality is that? Is it a physics thing? I don't know anything about anything. And that's why we do this podcast. It's Episode 68, so I now know 68 things. But also, it's rainy, and things look green. St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow. Here's a free viral tweet for anyon...

Well well well, lookie here. 67 episodes in and the guys finally decide to do something different. With multiple weeks off lately, Cody and Alex decide to treat you all with our first ever bonus episode! And we really hope you're happy. Listens had better be up on this, because we put ourselves through hell and then relived it for your amusement. If that doesn't make up for the crappy audio on a f...

Well everybody, we did it. We survived another winter. It's finally spring! Sort of anyway. Scientifically it's not. That won't happen for another however-many-weeks. And don't even get me started on the opinions of the loathsome groundhog. Here's the thing though- I don't subscribe to the "technical" "scientific" ideas of what the seasons are. That's all neoliberal bullshit. I go by months. Decem...

The audio is bad. But our friend Mitch, he's very good. Thankfully for you all, Mitch happens to be on the show this week. He does a great new podcast called The Hills are Silent. There, they talk about video games. Here, we talk about total lunatics and other misfortunes. This week, we have both- and how! And no, I'm not just talking about the crackling. I haven't been able to defeat this issue,...

Ah, history. That thing with no important lessons for us to learn. Many topics have been the subject of history throughout history. In fact, I'd venture to guess that there is history of history. That's what the kids (middle-aged adults) call "meta." And that's fun. Maybe there's a history of things being meta! Terrific. Maybe this show will be part of history someday. Ordinarily, you'd think no,...

Let's start with this: it is so cold out side. Terribly cold. As if the air is punishing you for some transgression. I just took my trash out and it hurt. My tolerance for this is running low. Sometimes I wonder about living in a warm climate. But where would I move? Florida? Texas? Arizona? Those places all have tremendous problems. For that matter, I hate moving. Realistically I have too much cr...

I don't have a lot of energy to come up with a clever, meandering episode description like usual. It's been a long week and I have heartburn because I ate red beans & rice for dinner. It was pretty good at least. Sauteed some slices of andouille and threw them in there. Added some homemade hot sauce. Good stuff on a cold wintery night. But bad for my esophagus, apparently. When I was a kid I t...