Healing the Unresolved

Today’s discussion is about over-control. It is a relating and behavior pattern that is almost universally a product of traumatic and painful experiences. It is born from avoiding, at all costs, ever experiencing anything like what we did in the past. However, when we do this, we find no rest, no peace, and miss all of the beautiful things in our lives. It causes us to see threats where there are...

Many are worried about asserting themselves, setting boundaries, and speaking up for themselves. Such behaviors are perceived by some as being prideful and not what God wants. In this episode the value and need for dignity is discussed and how it must be preserved and protected.

Anxiety is often perceived very negatively. This negative perception of anxiety often aggravates it and makes us feel even more of it. Our Anxiety is simply trying to alert us to the perception of danger. However, in the end, it will listen to us, and is very flexible in the face of new perceptions.

Father Alexander Schmemann often talked and wrote about the benefits of our faith based worldview, which we receive upon baptism. Our faith-based worldview is to help us navigate our life in this world; to help us make sense of experiences, answer life’s questions, and navigate life stages. However, unresolved past experiences have the ability to block our faith-based worldview, as it causes us to...

Some strained sibling relationships may indeed just be due to difficult personalities or differences in beliefs. However, very often the real cause is hidden hurts and resentments related to the family of origin. These hurts may be related to roles played, differences in perceptions of treatment, and overall lack of closure. When past pain surfaces in sibling relationships it often masks itself by...

In this episode, the answer is discussed as to why we tend to feel more comfortable and able to express anger and happiness, but not other emotions. It is the emotional space between anger and happiness that holds our anxiety, fear, grief, sadness, and loss. Our society has deemed these areas to be forbidden territory. However, for those doing the healing work and seeking spiritual growth, it is t...

Very often, when doing the healing work, we forget that even though we have had negative and uncomfortable emotions tied to past painful experiences, we are still going to have normal negative feelings related to every day life stressors and changes. Without realizing it, we can associate negative emotion only with the past. And then when negative emotions do occur from the present, we feel like s...

This podcast centers around the question as to whether there are any movies that can be helpful in the healing process. Typically movies that resonate are helpful for us. This is because when we witness our pain or lack of closure in someone else’s story, it’s not as threatening, and so is able to get past our defenses and bring out emotion that previously had been held back. These moments can hel...

Today’s discussion involves a question in which the submitter of the question had a series of painful parish experiences that led to them feeling abandoned. It is always a difficult decision to decide whether to stay or move onto a different parish community. However, before we decide, we can explore and answer certain questions that will ensure we make a good decision and that will enhance our sp...

This podcast episode answers two submitted questions, both involving forgiveness on some level. Whether it’s that we have to forgive ourselves, or making sure we truly have forgiven the other, God wants us to let go of our past weaknesses and focus on the present. He also wants our forgiveness to be real, and not just a result of denying reality and protecting ourselves from painful emotions.

An anniversary reaction or effect is very common and affects most people at one time or another, and some are affected throughout their lives. The anniversary of a loss or painful event can be a challenging experience for many. Knowing what they are, being prepared for them, leaning into them, and using them to our advantage, can help make them tolerable, and even put them to rest.

This episode discusses healthy ways to share our painful or traumatic experiences. It is also covers the importance of safety and how to rediscover safety in a health way after losing it in the aftermath of a painful or traumatic experience. Finally, the issue of trauma bonding is discussed. This occurs when we see the abuser as innocent or in an elevated way, while not giving ourselves the valida...

This episode discusses how our healing work and our painful experiences are not separate or outside of our relationship with God and our faith, but rather an integral part of it. These experiences, which have been such a source of shame, can actually aid and accelerate our spiritual growth. There is also discussion on keeping shame out of the sacrament of Confession, as well as what to look for in...

This podcast episode discusses a helpful exercise to do when grief over our own experiences seems stuck, also rooting out shame by it’s source, and reviewing a paradigm of different approaches that fits well with our faith and that should cover all the healing work.

This podcast episode discusses much of the confusion and fears about the concepts of self acceptance and self compassion. The discussion highlights that self acceptance and self compassion are both very necessary for healing and for our spiritual lives. Practicing both self denial and self acceptance provides balance and stability to every aspect of our lives.

In this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on loss, abandonment, and broken relationships. Many of us experience fear and anxiety on some level, but this is often from perceived threats and difficulty tolerating uncertainty. Often, our past wounds will reappear in the present and we must find a way to fully grieve, and fully heal, in order to move forward. As we head into the season of the Na...

In this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on trauma in the Church, divorce, and alcoholism. While we may become guarded due to our own woundedness, we must never turn in on ourselves in self-reliance. It is a strength to reach out for help - and it will ultimately aid us in our spiritual growth. In all of these issues, there is always hope for a fresh start, a hope to continue on the path of...

Fr. Joshua begins his new podcast by answering submitted questions on the subject of trauma and how to heal from it within the context of Orthodox Christianity. If you have a question for Fr. Joshua, please email him via the "Send Feedback" link.