Happily Ever After is Just the Beginning

There’s a saying that people who fight about everything are really fighting about nothing. In reality, they are fighting to hold on to who they are and how they like to do things. It isn’t just one thing that matters to them but all things. There are three areas that are at the heart of what most couples fight about—finances, sex, and children. That’s because these are the most personal issues for...

Many people think that romantic relationships are natural and that there is nothing that different about marriage. Unfortunately, this common way of thinking puts many marriages at risk. Because many of us don’t know what we don’t know about marriage, we are at risk of making some very common mistakes that cause a lot of unnecessary pain. Francesco DiMeglio, the Newlywed expert at About.com ( http...

Is “Busy” your answer to the question, “How are you?” For a lot of us, that seems to be the standard response. Not only does it seem to be the new normal, it seems to be the new status symbol. But accepting this as a daily practice has its costs, especially to your marriage. If you rate your marriage as fine or okay, you may be putting it on the back burner while you are “busy” with everything els...

While the commonly accepted 50% divorce rate is actually a bit high, and not all marriages are at equal risk of ending, divorce still happens. Maybe it has happened to you. Maybe you didn’t want one or maybe your partner had an affair. Whatever the reason, your marriage ended. It might be hard to imagine moving on or even knowing that you can. Maybe the thought of opening yourself up to love again...

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Or so the saying goes. But, what if it isn’t true? Yes, discovering your partner had an affair is heartbreaking. The result is justifiable hurt and anger. The world feels like it’s crashing down and crushing you. It can take every ounce of strength just to breathe. But does it have to mean the end of the marriage? The truth is, it depends. It’s hard to imagine any...

Do you think marriage is a good thing? Do you think it can’t or shouldn’t be forever? Do you think it’s about your personal happiness? Whatever you think, you will make that your reality. Your beliefs influence your behavior, including how you act in your marriage. Falling in love is easy and many think that’s all you need to have a successful marriage. But love isn’t just a noun, it’s a verb, too...

Marriage professionals know what it takes to have healthy and happy relationships that last. Do you? If you don’t have the marriage that you want then you are in the right place. Lisa Brooks Kift, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of Love and Life Toolbox, reveals ten characteristics that successful couples possess. Send your comments and suggestions to Lesli. Let your friends and...

Marriage seems really scary to a lot of people. Maybe even you. Imagine if you knew that you had the power to make your marriage be however you want it to be. Well, you do! You come equipped with everything you need to live a happy, loving life, including having a great marriage. Rachel Henke, The Fearless Transformation Coach and bestselling author, is here to talk to you about the Superpowers we...

Thinking about conflict, especially in your relationship, conjures up all kinds of unpleasant things. But it doesn’t have to. It may seem counter-intuitive but disagreeing with your partner can actually make your relationship stronger. Seeing these times as an opportunity to grow and learn more about each other turns what you’re avoiding into a win-win for you and your marriage. Dr. Elizabeth Dorr...

The odds are that you, or someone you know, is divorced. Anger, resentment, bitterness, and sadness are just some of the emotions that come along with it. Amazingly enough, it doesn’t eliminate hope. Specifically, the hope to find love again. Divorce can knock you down, but it doesn’t have to knock you out. And there are things you can do to increase your chance of success if you’re one of the man...

Think back to when you were a kid. Were you in a hurry to grow up? To be able to make all those decisions your parents made that you thought were so unfair? Were you chomping at the bit to be in charge of your own life? How’s it going? If you could do it over would you choose the life you have now? Would you choose your spouse? Yes, as an adult you make decisions every day that determine the cours...

Divorce is a decision that most people take very seriously. And they should, especially if they have children. The impact on them should not be underestimated. A couple shouldn’t stay together merely for the sake of the children, but those children have a real stake in the decision without having a seat at the table where their future is being decided. Many children manage the challenges of their...

As Dr. Phil says, “Sometimes you make the right decision and sometimes you make the decision right.” After being together for a while, some people tell themselves that they didn’t marry the right person, they never really loved each other, so there is really no way to make it better. In other words, they made the wrong decision. What they don’t realize is that they may be focusing on the wrong thi...

Regular sex and deeper intimacy are two of the benefits of a good marriage. There are lots of jokes about marriage being a place where sex goes to die, but, if you are in a sexless marriage, it’s not at all funny. There are lots of reasons why this might be happening and it’s important to understand them so your marriage can be all you want it to be. Relationship Coach Lisa Merlo-Booth identifies...

Do you and your partner get sidetracked because you start arguing over how one of you said something? Have you ever been able to convince the other one that their tone was the problem? Have you ever heard the expression “Presentation is everything?” One of the biggest factors in the success of your marriage is how you communicate with each other. If you struggle with conflict or problem solving in...

The toilet seat, the toothpaste tube, hogging the blankets, unopened mail—the list of things that can annoy us about our partners is endless. How can you find someone you supposedly love so annoying? More importantly, do you just have to suffer in silence or is there something you can do that doesn’t involve throwing things? In a word, yes. Author and developmental psychologist Dr. Deborah Davis (...

Many people think marriage is about happiness—you trying to make your partner happy or expecting them to make you happy. But happiness is, and always will be, an inside job. That’s the good news. The more challenging news is, since you can’t make anyone else happy, you have to find a way to deal with their disappointment when you are making your own happiness. This doesn’t mean you can ignore your...

A common question many people have is, “Is this the one?” They want to know if the person they are with is the person they should marry. But this may be the wrong question; or should be the second question. The biggest question should be why you’re thinking about getting married at all. The focus on being part of a couple is ubiquitous. After all, there are all kinds of statistics that show marria...

In all the marriage advice you’ve received, you’ve probably heard that you should never go to bed angry. You should not let problems fester and the only way to get to sleep is to hash it all out. WRONG!! The only thing guaranteed to happen is a fight. Being tired and angry is just as unproductive as being hungry and angry. In communication, like life, timing is everything. Miscommunications, misun...

Are you a great communicator? If you’re like most people, the truth is probably not. You get flooded by emotion when bothered by something your partner says or does and don’t always respond in the best way. That’s because you’ve never been offered a Relationship Communication 101 class. So, you both repeat what you learned growing up and never seem to make any progress. Britney Mills, cofounder of...

It’s often said that the three hardest words to say to someone are “I love you”. But, in reality, saying, “I am sorry” is harder for many people. It means admitting you are flawed; that something you did caused a problem for another. It means becoming vulnerable. It also is the way to head off most problems in a marriage. There is also an art to an authentic apology. Dr. Scott Haltzman ( http://ww...

Fear may be the most powerful emotion we experience. It may even be stronger than love. One thing is for certain, it rears its ugly head way too often in our relationships. Fear keeps us from sharing our deepest thoughts and intense emotions; just what we really need to do to have the love we want and deserve. John Kim ( http://www.theangrytherapist.com/) , Life Coach and Marriage and Family Thera...

If one of your New Year’s Resolutions is to be happier, you might consider ending your marriage as part of that process. January is a big month for family law attorneys. Yes, you want the pain and unhappiness to stop. That’s a great goal. But a divorce may not be the best way to make that happen. You may just be exchanging one kind of pain for another. Greg Griffin ( https://greggriffin.net/) , li...

Many people believe men and women are so different that they’re not just two separate species but they actually aren’t even from the same planet. John Gray made millions from this approach. Yes, men and women experience the world differently and this can make for some interesting relationship dynamics. But most relationship challenges aren’t due to gender differences. They are caused by not knowin...

It’s always easier, and usually cheaper, to keep something in working order than to repair or replace it. This is true of your relationships as well. You wouldn’t let dripping water in your house go without doing something about it. Unfortunately, many people miss, or pretend not to see, the signs of stress in their marriages. But, like the leak in your roof, not addressing things only makes them...