Gutter Glitter: Memoir of an Addict

Final chapter . After staring some of her greatest fears in the face and surviving, Kirsty realises she is stronger than she ever imagined. If that can be true for her, the girl who was born existentially depressed and chronically fearful, it's true for everybody. Soundtrack: 'Shake It Out' by Florence & the Machine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs Shop the book (paperback & eBook): htt...

Kirsty ventures to Italy to work as an au pair for a 10 year-old girl but her declining health takes a toll. In spring she heads to the Greater London countryside, where she is surrounded by fragile lambs and brand new foals, as well as cheap drugs and sad men. Soundtrack: 'Apres Moi' by Regina Spektor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efhpWuzcGYs Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirste...

Kirsty realises she had been going through life as a wounded child, but when forced to defend herself in a life or death situation, she reunites with her true self. The grown woman who had been hidden away for years comes back as protector and fighter. Soundtrack: 'Praying' by Kesha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-Dur3uXXCQ Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full m...

When a first date turns ugly Kirsty's new found sobriety is challenged. She finally understands that no-one is coming to save her, and claiming her life back is up to her, and only her. Soundtrack: 'Me and a Gun' by Tori Amos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjaiM71CtI Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://o...

Kirsty finds comfort in the women she meets at the SLAA and CODA meetings she attends. Women who have been beaten down, largely by men, work together to build each back up. Kirsty is able to see that despite feeling stuck in her heartache, she is making tiny steps toward healing. Soundtrack: 'Release' by George https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdqhy2sDL5w Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://w...

Kirsty attends her first 12-step meeting and notices the parallels of her addiction with the stories of those around her. A new Doctor makes her a tempting offer to get back on opiates, which ends up being critical turning point. Soundtrack: 'Dealer' by Lana Del Rey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn86aScbzKk Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist -...

Rather than being a seedy, intimidating place, Kirsty discovers that rehab is filled with sad, sensitive people, just like her. Soundtrack: ⁠'Incomplete' by Kirsten Moore https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o98zejvH5j0 Other music videos from 'Breathe & Repeat' -⁠ Break Free⁠ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FULvIfqgYS0 ⁠- Tuscany https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09s79AXXOC8 Shop the book (paperback & e...

On Boxing Day 2017, Kirsty is whisked away to a drug and alcohol rehab facility, where her issues with codependency and love addiction are also revealed. Soundtrack: ⁠'Rehab' by Amy Winehouse/> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUmZp8pR1uc Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU...

Withdrawing from painkillers and love, Kirsty endures Christmas at a rowdy German bierhaus with extended family, excitedly asking about her 'romantic' holiday. Soundtrack: ⁠'Breathe Me' by Sia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwB56IYDfWs Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4...

Having chewed her way through a months worth of painkillers in less than ten days, Kirsty and her new boyfriend were on the road to find someone who would prescribe opioids to a young Australian girl in the Tuscan countryside. This was not the romantic getaway either of them had been anticipating. Soundtrack: ⁠'Habits (Stay High)' by Tove Lo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2LWWORoiM Shop the boo...

Kirsty decided that running away to Italy with an older man, for their very first date, seemed like the most sensible solution to coping with the internal agony of losing her best friend, father and first love within months of each other. However, it only highlighted her addiction to painkillers and the severity of her chronic illness. Soundtrack: 'Drug Dealer' by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ari...

Kirsty enters her final semester of uni during the worst time of her life. She survives with the help of her classmate Ally, while nostalgic dreams challenge her nightly. Soundtrack: ‘Wake Up Alone' by Amy Winehouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS8-qQojlhA Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotif...

Heartbroken, alone and now strongly addicted to opioids, this chapter confronts my newfound disenchantment and fury with all men and the destructive ways in which I try to cope. Soundtrack: ‘Dark Times' by The Weeknd ft. Ed Sheeran https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3qtZDKAWk0 Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist htt...

Once home from the psychiatric facility, Kirsty becomes increasingly concerned for her father's wellbeing, having not heard from him in several weeks. Soundtrack: 'Starman' by David Bowie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRcPA7Fzebw Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpq...

Kirsty enters a psychiatric hospital where she meets some strange characters, just like her. Soundtrack: 'Gods & Monsters' by Lana Del Rey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIVkYAiAVAI Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://lin...

Kirsten is interviewed by Josh Cary about her struggle with addiction and the life that ultimately became ‘Gutter Glitter’. Soundtrack: 'Candy' by Kirsten Moore https://open.spotify.com/track/6YhBUBCfvXvcInY92KnHMt Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktre...

Unable to witness my grief and sit with his own, Simon leaves me for another woman. This chapter speaks to my blind rage at being abandoned and replaced. Soundtrack: 'I'll Kill Her' by Soko https://youtu.be/uGRlKEmVkdY?si=1QOTRz-hmk2rM9xX Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3M...

Sam continues to deteriorate, until she is a shadow of her former self. Ultimately, I must say goodbye to my only friend and beacon of joy. Soundtrack: 'Joanne' by Lady Gaga https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ll04Zzw5UM Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Link...

As Simon pulls away, Kirsty’s codependency reaches new heights, and she seeks refuge in the kindness of her bandmate. Kirsty watches on hopelessly as her best friend becomes increasingly ill. Soundtrack: 'Higher Love' by James Vincent McMorrow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c__noWWtdZg Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir...

With her mobility restored, Kirsty rushed head-first into life - overdoing it while trying to make up for lost time. She describes the emotional highs of mania followed by the crushing lows of depression, along with her final diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder. Soundtrack: 'Every Single Night' by Fiona Apple https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIlLq4BqGdg Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.ki...

Stuck in bed on strong opiate pain-killers for months on end, Kirsty becomes paranoid and on edge. Making matters worse, she learns her boyfriend has a new female colleague who he begins spending more time with. Soundtrack: ⁠'Cold Shoulder' by Adele⁠ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGwH-x4VoH8 Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music &...

Kirsty sits down with her mum, Tiina and brother Ben, to hear what it was like for the family after she returned home following her spinal resection. Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Recovering from spinal surgery would be one of the most challenging periods of Kirsty's life. Not only due to the severe pain and lack of independence, but cracks in her relationship with Simon begin to show. Soundtrack: ‘Help I'm Alive’ by Metric https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoK63Bk7pgw Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Mem...

The weeks and months following spinal surgery would be a test in strength unparalleled by any of Kirsty's previous life experiences. The severe pain and loss of abilities was dehumanising and debilitating. Soundtrack: ‘I’m In Here’ by Sia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ex7NFDXQoo&authuser=0 Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & M...

Kirsty chats to her mum & brother about their reactions to her diagnosis with an aggressive spinal tumour (Giant cell tumour). Soundtrack: ‘Left Out at Sea’ by Kirsten Moore (Listen at 24:51) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq24AxypH-M Shop the book (paperback & eBook): https://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4...