Gumball Love Podcast

After going through a traumatic relationship, divorce, or breakup, it can be really hard to keep having hope that things will get better and everything will work out in the end. How do we not lose hope after getting beat down? When we have a physical injury, it's clear that we need to take rest and heal. However, when it's an emotional wound, somehow there's this expectation to "move on quickly" a...

With the Delta variant on the rise, it's been highly requested to do another episode on online dating and how to navigate it, so I'll be answering some of your questions! Online dating can be so overwhelming with endless options of people. A lot of times, we go into it when we're not ready, which can make things even worse.  Not to mention, we're inundated with zero to low effort guys sending noth...

You're having a fun night on a date, or maybe a night out, and it's come to that moment when you're wondering whether you should go back to his place or have him come back to yours for sex or not. While I can't make this decision for you and would never try to, I do want to give you a few questions to ask yourself before making the decision and to really think about.  We'll also talk about the rea...

Enter the search term "dating advice" on Google or Youtube and you're bound to come across listicles or videos with titles like "10 Things You're Doing that are Turning Men Off" or "The Number One Mistake Women Make in Dating". From this day forward, I want you to STOP consuming content like this. It's crap!! 1. You're never gonna find the holy grail of "what men want" because all men are DIFFEREN...

When we've dated Gumball Guys in the past, often it's daunting and scary to get back into dating because we've been burned before. We're a bit jaded and skeptical that all guys are jerks. Well, hindsight is always 20/20, but we can try some things during the dating stage to test the waters and see if he's really ready for love and commitment.  Junk "dating advice" will give you a lot of short-term...

In this special interview, I'm interviewing my podcast manager of two years, Dana Drahos! Dana ditched corporate America life in July 2018 for the adventure of a lifetime, moving abroad to Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Vietnam. She started out teaching English, and over the past three years has gone on a wild ride of finding her passion, starting her own podcast Creators in Saigon, healing from child...

How do you know if you are "ready for love"? The depiction of love and romance in Hollywood movies certainly sets the wrong expectations for us around what healthy love, dating and relationships look like. After many years of dating and relationships, learning from the mistakes, and finally meeting the love of my life at age 43, I share how I knew I was ready for love, and what signs you can look...

This is a quick episode where I wanted to talk about a new concept I heard from Dr. Caroline Leaf about thoughts, and how to stop the pattern of negative thinking and sleepless nights filled with anxious thoughts! I share with you a helpful exercise that she explained, and tie it back to how this relates to childhood trauma and our tendencies to date Gumball Guys. Resources Mentioned How to Do the...

We hear a lot about red flags in dating, and often they are centered around what the guy is  doing . Whether he's sending d*ck pics, he leaves you on "read" for days, he doesn't have any friends, etc. In this episode, I go through each of the Gumball Guys and give you the subtle yellow flags of how you might  feel around these guys, so you can start to catch yourself in these feelings and back awa...

This episode is dedicated to all you out there who are currently in a relationship, and starting to consider if this relationship is no longer healthy for you and if you should leave. In this episode, I share my top strategies for how to take care of yourself during this time, how to explore your emotions and thoughts around the relationship so you can get some clarity, and how to observe his beha...

An avid listener of the Gumball Love Podcast, Jolie reached out to me via email after listening to the episodes describing the different flavors of attention addiction. I was so impressed with how she was able to connect each "flavor" to a real life Gumball Guy she'd met over the course of her  51 first dates , I had to get her on the show! Yes, after spending 20 years married to the wrong person,...

Wondering if it's time to start working with a dating and relationship coach? It can be scary investing in coaching. You might be embarrassed that your situation is such a mess, or worry that I'll judge you, or feel weak for asking for help.  I talked with some of the alumni of my Back to You Academy to see what thoughts were going through their mind when they decided to start coaching with me, an...

In this episode, I reflect on what I wish I knew earlier on, back in the days when I was totally lost on everything love, dating and relationships. I think back to mistakes I'd made...although I don't really like to call them mistakes, because I think everything happens for a reason and everything happens in the timing it's supposed to. Nevertheless, I have a list of 13 things I did that helped me...

I need your help! It's getting soo juicy writing this book, we're really beginning to pull apart the layers and get extra specific about each different type of Gumball Guy and how you can recognize them. In this episode I give an overview of all the different "flavors" of Gumball Guys that is (hopefully) more clear and precise than ever before, so PLEASE let me know your feedback! We especially di...

Are you constantly caught up in unrealistic day dreams about a guy you just met or have been talking to for a while?  In this episode, we discuss how media has influenced our perception of love, how to uncover what your current perception of love is, signs you're caught up in an unrealistic fantasy with a Gumball Guy, what types of things you actually should be fantasizing about, and what to expec...

Today we talk about the urgency around feeling the need to "fix" all your issues and insecurities. We talk about balance in focusing on your own healing, and figuring out what you need to give yourself, but not rushing the process. Slowing down, to speed up. Follow and Work with Melissa The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click  here  to vi...

Many of you have been coming into my DMs or writing in the private Facebook group asking about what are the red flags to know if he's really looking for love or just a hook up? And I'm going to share these red flags with you in this podcast, but I'm also gonna give you some tough love, because while knowing red flags is great, we need to stop focusing so much on them. What should you really be foc...

Wondering if YOU are the Gumball Girl?  Sometimes we are the ones giving and receiving gumballs, and it feels good to get that dopamine hit. This isn't always a bad thing, if your relationship with this guy is not SOLELY based on these dopamine hits. It becomes a problem when the guy is not seeking anything more than a quick "high", and there is no deeper level of intimacy and friendship holding t...

When we are disappointed with another person or situation in our life, it can almost always come back to what expectations we had about that person or situation. When someone doesn't come through for us, we assume it was their conscious choice. But often, we're assuming this person has more to give than they actually do. Not everyone has the capacity to love you as much as you love them. And once...

We've all been there...you're texting back and forth with a guy, and the responses are pretty quick in the beginning, everything is exciting, you're getting the butterflies....and gradually, the responses get slower and slower to be returned (or, it's very sudden that he's taking so long to reply). You start to freak out, thinking he's not interested in you, he's texting another girl, or whatever...

In this episode, we're digging into gaslighting. If you haven't heard of gaslighting before, it's defined as: "Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity...

When you're in a new relationship or just starting to go on a few dates with a guy, do you ever feel like you're being evaluated against some checklist on a clipboard? He says things like, "When you do that it reminds me of my ex, who cheated on me..." or "I have trust issues so I can't handle it when you...". Then you find yourself doing backflips and performing trying to prove that you won't hur...

When a guy wants the Pink Gumball type of attention, he's the one who always makes every conversation about him. You could say anything, and he'll always turn it back to him. Or when he gives you a gift, it's not for the joy of watching you light up when you receive it, it's about him being able to take all the credit for finding the gift, or how much money he spent on it, etc. Tune in to hear mor...

"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy who wants the Purple Gumball This episode is all about the Purple Gumball, or the guy who gets high off you chasing and pursuing him. He's the guy who says and does just enough to keep you reeled in, but doesn't actually offer anything valuable to your life. He just takes and takes.  He's the one who's always "too busy" and...

This episode is about the Blue Gumball, or as I like to call it, "Pity Me". This is the guy (or person, if it's one of your friends or family members), who is always complaining about everything and wants your constant sympathy and pity. You try and give them advice, but they never take action on anything. They just want to hear themselves complain. We all have our low moments where sometimes we j...