Good Enough Parenting

There are some things the 80s got wrong (Halloween candy wasn't dangerous and turns out greed is not so good) but there are many things 80s parents got right. Today, I share four parenting trends we should bring back from the decade of slinkys and should pads to give kids and parents more freedom to make mistakes and missteps - in fashion and in family life. To get Carley’s free video teachin...

The number one question families ask - how do we set limits with our kids without screaming, yelling and threatening! In this episode, I share how to set boundaries in your home with calm, clarity, consistency and compassion and explain why limit setting is so crucial in fostering feelings of safety and security with your kids. Because even if they claim otherwise, your kid does not want to be the...

Play is a child’s first language. It’s how they communicate what they’re feeling, thinking and where they’re struggling. If we can access the playful side of ourselves and speak to our children in a language they understand in their bodies and brains, parenting gets so much easier (and fun!) Today I share a story of how I handled my child’s fears by harnessing the power of play.  To get Carley’s f...

It’s the end of June, my kids are out of school and the lazy days of summer are laid out before us.  I used to pack our summers with outings and activities because it was hard being home all together.  But as my kids have gotten older and more independent and I’ve learned the value of doing less as a parent, I now look forward to quiet days where the biggest question on our mind is what’s for lunc...

Our culture has a bit of an obsession with “having.” We’re always looking for the next new thing (app, supplement, couch cover!) we can “have” that might make a change for us.  There is a fun assessment I play with kids in my practice. I tell them they have a key to a magic room and when they open the door they will find something that makes them happier than they could imagine – but the trick is...

You know those fun timelines of your child’s development that you get at the pediatrician’s office or see in books like “What to Expect in the First Year?” They paint such a succinct, rosy picture of what your baby will be doing at 6 months (eating solids!), 12 months (first steps!), 2 years (welcome to the world of tantrums!)  They’re not a bad way of preparing for the years ahead, but unfortunat...

My favorite movies and tv shows are female buddy comedies. Give me some Boys on the Side, Baby Mama, Bad Moms and especially Broad City and I’m happy for days.  I just recently went to see “Babes” with my best girlfriends and almost had to leave the theater I was laughing so hard.  Female friendships have always been essential for me. But once kids entered the picture, it was a lot harder to maint...

Traveling with kids can suck. Traffic, airport delays, an endless chorus of “are we there yet” can make any parent question whether spending a small fortune on a family trip is really worth it.    But getting our families out of their at home comfort zone has endless benefits.    Not only do we see what life is like outside of our little bubbles, but we also create lasting memories and return from...

The summer season is officially upon us! Which means it’s time to wrestle your toddler to the ground so you can apply some ghost-whitening sunblock while your six year old screams “I hear the ice cream truck! Can we get one?” at 10am.    Are you already counting the days until Labor Day?    Fear not! There are ways we can find more sweetness and less stress this summer with our families.    On tod...

Have you heard of the new book “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” by Jonathan Haidt?  From PBS to TikTok – everyone’s talking about it.  And when something strikes a chord this deeply across our culture, it means something big is resonating.  And here’s the headline – our young adults are showing more signs of anxiety and depressi...

If only there was a way we could connect with our kids, foster their social/emotional skills, develop their executive functioning while also having fun as a family.    Oh wait! The answer has been hiding inside our cluttered closet the whole time….    Games!    Structured games are an incredible way to help kids learn to manage their emotions (who hasn’t wanted to punch the candy land board when y...

A few years ago, I got a call around 3:00 on Mother’s Day. A dear friend asked me if I would be able to meet her for a drink before dinner. Hell yes. We had both had less than ideal days that were meant to celebrate us but instead were filled with cranky kids and unmet expectations. We needed to commiserate. And at the risk of sounding like a terrible mother I’m going to be honest – our cocktail h...

If your family is having a year like ours, you might be stuck in an endless cycle of SICK.  And just when the illnesses are fading away…. here come the spring allergies!  I’m thankful every day for medical treatments that help my family stay healthy and heal quickly – my kids are not so appreciative. Especially when they have a huge needle headed their way.    But we’ve found ways to make scary th...

Have you read “Bittersweet” by Susan Cain? If you consider yourself (or your child) a big feeling person I can’t recommend it highly enough.    As she says, if you like listening to sad music, enjoy a rainy day or feel overwhelmed by beauty sometimes, you can identify with a bittersweet state of mind.    We used to think these deeper, more complex emotions were only felt by adults.    But now we u...

When we are having big struggles with our kids, we often want to make big changes right away.    “Let’s start a whole new morning routine!” “Let’s ban screens!” “Let’s do a ‘yes’ day to reconnect as a family!” (Ever since watching that movie my daughter has been demanding her very own ‘yes’ day. Curse you Jennifer Garner and your family-oriented movie magic!)   But what helps the most is not when...

Oh dreaded transitions.  Anytime we’re asking our kids to move from one activity to another (“stop playing and come to dinner” or “head upstairs to brush your teeth”) a whole host of things need to happen in their brain and body to turn their boat in a new direction.  Transition struggles are the biggest complaint I hear from families I support. It is incredibly frustrating when you have to yell “...

Setting boundaries with our kids is a tricky, tricky dance. We’re always trying to find the balance between overly authoritarian (i.e. setting boundaries just to show we are the ones “in control”) and overly permissive (i.e. not setting limits because we’re afraid of how our kid might respond).   I wish there was a formula I could share that gets it right all the time. But the truth is your bounda...

How many chore charts have you startedand abandoned in you parenting journey?   “You get a sticker for cleaning up your toys!”  “Here’s a stamp for sweeping the kitchen!”  Parents are always full of hope that these nicely structured (and sometimes beautifully decorated!) systems will turn entitled children into responsible, helpful and courteous kids. Spoiler alert: You probably have a junk drawer...

Your kid doesn’t need to sit cross legged, chanting OM while praying for world peace in order to get introduced to the benefits and power of quieting the constant chatter in our brains and connecting to something bigger than ourselves.  On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast, Carley shares the SIMPLE and EASY loving kindness meditation practice she uses in her house to calm bodies & minds,...

When was the last time you asked yourself, "What do I need right now?" My guess is it's been a while.  As parents (especially moms) we are conditioned to put our kid's needs before our own.  And that makes sense - babies come into this world completely dependent on the big people around them for survival.  But as our kids grow and become more self-sufficient, our brains don&apo...

Have you ever had to peel your 4 year old off your leg at daycare drop off? Or tried to convince your 7 year old that they’ll have fun at school when they’re begging you to stay home because the idea of leaving you makes them want to puke?  Separation anxiety is tough. And unfortunately many of the strategies that parents try, like being logical (“You love your teacher – you’re going to have a gre...

What sound sets you off? Nails on a chalk board? Your co-worker loudly noshing on pretzels? Neighborhood leaf blowers?   If you’re like most parents, hearing your kid scream (at their sibling, at you, at their friend) triggers you more than any landscaping equipment or loud breather.  And so often we respond by screaming back “Stop yelling!” and then we’re caught in a fun little dance with our kid...

If every problem in your kid's life feels like a level 10 catastrophe, this episode is for you.  Tune in to learn a game-changing parenting tool called "Pebble, Rock, Boulder."   In essence, you share with your child that some problems are pebbles (a pencil breaking, running out of milk), some are rocks (having a hard time with math, fighting with friends) and some are boulders (nat...

Kids are pretty annoying. They are unruly, demanding, and leave a trail of mess wherever they go. And often as parents, we get caught up in seeing the annoying traits of our kids, especially if they are in the middle of challenging phase or just happen to have come into the world with big feelings and deep sensitivities.  But when we only see the negative “story” about our kid, we miss the good. A...

Want a better behaved kid? Begin by teaching them about their brain.  This helps your kid externalize their struggles – they go from feeling shame (I’m a bad kid for acting this way) to self-compassion (sometimes I have a hard time and my downstairs brain takes over).  Reducing shame, reduces challenging behavior. As childhood expert Pam Leo reminds us, “You can’t teach children to behave better b...