God Awful Movies

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Prophecy; mostly so that Eli and Heath have an excuse to do their Christopher Walken impressions. If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/ If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scath...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Heaven Bound, a lighthearted comedy about a couple of bumbling burglars and the senile Jesus freak that kidnaps and tortures them because invisible people want him to. If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/ If you’d like to pick up a copy...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of End of Days, the story of a nuclear security guard fighting Satan with a grenade launcher. If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/ If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed; the story of a 40 year old virgin that meets a terrible, terrible human and settles for him even though he's an abusive, married, cocaine dealer and sexually assaults her. To get tickets to our live shows in New York, Seattle, or Salt Lake City, check here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-a...

This week, Thomas Smith joins us on stage at ReasonCon 3 in Hickory, North Carolina for an atheist review of The Burning Hell. It's the story of a Nashville barbecue deciding to play biblical dress up while somebody secretly filmed it. If you'd like to help us produce Citation Needed; our new podcast with Tom and Cecil, you can pledge your per episode support here: https://www.patreon.com/citation...

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of the fifth film in the Nigerian "Vultures of Horror" series, known in house as "the gift that keeps on giving." If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R If you...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Case for Christ; the story of a man researching a book, when all of a sudden, he writes a book eventually. And that's literally all the movie has to offer in terms of stakes. But it does offer up a cavalcade of tired, silly apologetics to test the limits of Noah's blood pressure. If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook;...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for the greatest achievement in the history of visual medium; Divination. It's the story of internal demonic office politics, as well as one man's obsession with another man's procreation. Plus there's a knife grenade. Yes... a knife grenade. Our June show has changed dates! If you'd like to see us live on June 9th at the People's Improv Theater in NYC, you'...

This week, Eli and Noah team up for an atheist review of Old Fashioned; the story of a man who promised god he'd never be alone in a room with a woman if god forgave him for all the consensual boob-filming he did in college. It's a romantic comedy in the sense that they had to put something next to the word "genre" in the description. If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Vol...

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "The Becoming", which we're pretty sure was meant as a movie. With candle-based lighting, wet microphones, sarcastic scoring, and 'free with the unlimited plan' cameras, this series of scarcely coherent scenes competes for the worst film we've ever reviewed. If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Vol...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Shack; the story of why you don't see Sam Worthington in more challenging roles. If you'd like to take our survey, go to podcast.study and select all of our shows listed that you listen to. Thanks! http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/3379308/24005 If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patr...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Reggie's Prayer; the story of a millionaire football star who tried to portray a millionaire football star in a movie and failed miserably. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If yo...

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Held for Ransom, the real life story of the kidnapping of Eunice Kronholm. Listen as we desperately try to find something to say about this boring, uneventful drudgery for 90 minutes. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and p...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Me Again, the story of a pastor spending time in the bodies of a teenage boy, an elderly African American, a gangster, a model, and a fish. But not in a fun way. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil G...

This week, guest masochist Devin Heater teams up with Eli and Noah for an atheist review of The Fight Within, the story of a patricidal Christian wrestler who punches people for money. And Jesus. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Resurrection of Gavin Stone; the story of a washed up, burned out child star turning his life over to Jesus and settling for a four. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d...

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Wicked Vultures 2; the 4th film in the Vultures of Horror series. Listen as Heath begs us in vain to edit out large portions of the episode. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost", the story of a bunch of people sitting in a room with Jesus not doing anything. And it's just as action packed as that sounds. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Gi...

This week, Tom and Cecil of the Cognitive Dissonance podcast join us live for an atheist review of "The Right to Believe", an exploration of the age old question of whether gay people should be allowed to walk in groups. To hear more from Tom and Cecil, check out the Cognitive Dissonance podcast here: http://dissonancepod.com/ If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Pa...

This week, guest masochist Marissa McCool joins Eli and Noah to discuss the story of Jesus's under-performing dinner theater magic show in an atheist review of The Encounter. To check out Marissa's podcast, The Inciting Incident Podcast, click here: http://incitingincident.libsyn.com/ To get a copy of Marissa's book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/PC-Lie-American-Voters-Decided/dp/1540416003

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Christmas on Salvation Street; the heartwarming story of nothing happening for an hour and forty-five minutes. But it's a Christmas movie, otherwise why would there be all this tinsel? To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www...

This week, Andrew Torrez of the Opening Arguments Podcast joins us to break down the court room drama that caps off our four movie-trilogy. Listen as we desperately try to decipher the post-rapture legal system, as well as the English translation of whatever the hell Mr. T is saying. To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance)...

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalypse 3: Tribulation; the story of Gary Busey not being in the shape required to jog on camera anymore, but doing it anyway. To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-ti...

On this week's show, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalyse 2: Revelation; a heart-warming buddy cop movie where a hardened detective looking for clues that can lead him to his family, and his wacky, wheelchair-bound sidekick team up to take on the antichrist. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our them...

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of "Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm"; a story of the biblical apocalypse as told through whatever spare CNN stock the producers could get their hands on. Join us as we marvel at the insensitive appropriation of real people's suffering for the sake of a crappy movie featuring Frankenstein's Game Show Host. You can find tickets...