Glen Reads Gothic Horror (to you)

Like any Christmas miracle, I wrap up something I slowly learn to hate just in time for the holidays. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This book will never end. I thought that it would be a 'fun' and 'quick read'. But nope. Frank Baum has written an epic about Santa Claus that I'm sure entire schools are dedicated to studying the greater meaning of. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Claus starts a war between immortals and doesn't even notice because he's too busy thinking about... other people's kids. Then he uses the reindeer's kink against them to break into people's homes and watch them sleep. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Like a trust-fund kid, Claus sets out on his own but his mom takes care of everything for him- even down to making his dinner every night. That leaves a lot of time for him to sit around thinking of... the kids... Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Where this author makes up a fake origin story for a real man that died in 1942 during a bombing over France. It's highly offensive, especially since it prominently involves 'grabbing' a 'girdle' for some reason. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780762463138 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

There is a cat giving away his satanic nature by walking around on it's hind legs, killing with pleasure and threatening everyone around him and NO ONE seems to care. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A group of people agree to live together in a house, though none are really 'crazy' or in need of professional help. So I have no idea why it is called an asylum, but there's food at the end... A tale as old as time. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-children-s-book-of-thanksgiving-stories-9781497322141/9781497322141 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Falling in love is easy when you only care about looks, lucky for this lady she had a god-mother who doesn't see any problems with that. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The first story, about a weird man who just wants a kid. The second, another story about a dumb person who has unlimited power and doesn't know how to use it. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A creepy kid stumbles on two items that bring him unlimited wishes. Of course he keeps forgetting that and spends the rest of the story wasting his own time- And also forcing a woman to love him. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Another episode where I read fairy tales like a crabby uncle. This one, about a boy who wants to feel fear so he lights fires and kills his way toward understanding… Because he’s a psychopath. That’s his real problem. It’s the story of a boy with a serious untreated condition. Angela Lansbury plays a big role in this story for me. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fa...

One story ends pretty abruptly, but that’s how it goes when the protagonist is murdered. The other involves marrying your grandma. I don’t even care what the rest of the story was about beyond that. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

What do you do if you’re poor as hell, but have a beautiful daughter? Sell her off to a white bear for money. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

You know what takes a fairy tale from average to ‘top-shelf’? A yellow dwarf sitting in a tree eating oranges. Everyone dies in the end. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

‘The Bronze Ring’ is the story of hubris. ‘Prince Hyacinth…’ is about how you should hope you’re never born ugly. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-blue-fairy-book-annotated-9781099638268/9781099638268 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

When a student’s idea of a ‘fun vacation’ is to just to be alone in an empty house so he can study- it’s about a fun as you’d expect. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The story of two men who’s love is cut short by a spectral warning. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Terror comes in all guises. Even in the form of a clerical error. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

If you give your wife a disturbing pet-name like, “my pussy” you know the story isn’t going to turn out good. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

You’d think that when you survive the murder attempt you dreamed about earlier you’d be done, but nope. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Another good story that takes forever to get to the point… How would I have known that ‘October barrage’ would be the hardest thing ever. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The mystery of a murder that is kinda solved by entering the exciting world of paperwork. A witch is involved, though, only barely. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684?aid=12554&listref=leaves-of-glen Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Finally, an actual scary ghost story. No weird crap tacked on at the end. Just two people walking into a haunted house, seeing some scary stuff, then leaving. Perfect. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

This author really hates overweight men. That is pretty clear. And he thinks bible-reading-wives are boring as hell. Put it all together and you have the making of a good paranormal murder story. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

A story of revenge by some kind of... Ghost? Or something? I read the whole thing and couldn't make any sense of it. Maybe you can Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-haunted-looking-glass/9780940322684 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.