GilandBrenda

  Why do some couples hesitate to invest in their marriage? Without sugar coating anything, Gil and Brenda explore several possibilities…and their remedies. Sometimes the busyness of life intrudes on the investments that need to be made in our marriage. And sometimes it’s just easier to hide behind the busyness instead of talking about what’s really going on. Remember, life’s too short to just hav...

Even in the best relationships, conflict is going to happen. Is conflict good or bad? Conflict is good, as long as you do it right! Yet, how do you control the damage that can come with conflict?  Gil and Brenda go over a few points from the Gottman Repair Checklist. Here are some real “how” to’s” to reduce the damage that can happen when conflict comes about. You can even pass this info on to you...

  So many times, there is an underlying pain that we carry that affects our relationships. It can be from family of origin, past relationships…or even the present. Gil and Brenda talk about a new way to look at pain. Not so much as an enemy but as a teacher. By using the acronym PAIN, you’ll gain a new “Perspective”, hopefully not be “Apathetic,” learn how to “Validate” and “Negotiate” through the...

While speaking on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise, Gil and Brenda were able to catch an interview with Family Life Blended Director, Ron Deal and author of the Five Love Languages, Dr, Gary Chapman. They just wrote a new book, Building Love Together in Blended Families that is a game changer for stepfamilies. ALL marriages/relationships will benefit from listening in. It takes two people to want...

  A recent trip to a cell phone store prompted a discussion about Customer Service (CS). Our experience wasn’t that great, but it got us thinking about the CS in our relationships….is it good or bad? What is the responsibility of the store and the customer? In our relationships, do we as customers pay on time? Do we ask for what we want? Do we let the company know if there is competition? As a com...

  Ready to gather some gold nuggets to help your parenting in a stepfamily? Gil and Brenda interview Joel Hawbaker, a High School teacher, someone who lived in a stepfamily and is now in one. Joel offers some fresh perspective that can bring lively conversations to your marriage. After listening to this podcast, here are a few questions to discuss: 1. Are you acting like the adult you want your ki...

Do you feel protected in your relationship? Gil and Brenda define what that looks like to them and how it impacts their relationship. Although, what they share may affect your relationship too. Protection isn’t just about your physical well being. It involves the physical, emotional and spiritual dimension of your relationship. Action step: Have the conversation. What does feeling protected look l...

3 Ways to Stop Relational Drift You may be living parallel lives, on the same page and everything is going well. Yet we all have seasons where we drift from that. Careers, health, focus on our kids and a myriad of other things can pull us away from each other without us even realizing it. Gil and Brenda share 3 common ways drift can happen in a relationship. Luckily, they also offer ways to get ba...

Gil and Brenda are interviewed by Paul VanSickle with WAY-FM 104.5 (Vancouver, WA market). The upcoming Northwest Marriage Conference is coming next month. How do your past relationships affect the present? What happens in each stage of marriage? Honeymoon, ankle biters, teenagers, and empty nesting all have a special flair about them. Gather some wisdom and laughter as you listen in on this great...

The Holiday season can be…crazy, right? Although, living in a stepfamily can be that way all the time! Gil and Brenda bring some perspective to the “Holidaze” with some old reminders (Holiday survival 101) and some new thoughts. Realistic expectations vs lower your expectations…which one? Don’t ask the kids too much about their other bio parent. This conversation is worthy of a podcast on its own!...

Is there a friendship in your marriage? Friendship can get lost in the marriage. Will it always be fun? No. It is ok for friends to disagree/fight. It’s healthy in a marriage…as long as it is done correctly. It’s important that both “hearts” are heard. Gil and Brenda share 3 ways to build your friendship in your marriage. This vital part of your relationship needs to be intentionally nurtured, esp...

The holidays are just about to begin. Do you know how to prepare for them? Is this new territory or is it time to up your game? And we’re not talking about the turkey…or the dinner! Being in a stepfamily is hard enough, but you add in the stresses of the holidays and hard is at a new level! Gil and Brenda will share 5 tips to help stay sane during this emotionally charged season. As always, they w...

Ready for some refreshing encouragement for your remarriage and stepfamily?  How is Velcro like your marriage? Gil and Brenda interview Jed, author of 12 books (with Jenny too!), a therapist, psychology professor, and a stepdad. So many nuggets of wisdom are shared here! 131 Conversations for Stepfamily Success is so helpful and his newest book, Happy Skills for Happy Kids is a must. It’ll help ki...

Want to be more in sync with each other? Ron Deal with Family Life Blended, shares vulnerably and offers a wealth of ideas and encouragement in his interview with Gil and Brenda. His latest book, Daily Encouragement for the Smart Stepfamily is a home run! You can shift your direction (thoughts) by just 1 degree and it can keep you on course and be in sync again. This very SIMPLE devo can be read i...

Gil and Brenda are having some fun sharing stories of their fourth of July celebrations through the years. Thrown in are some interesting facts about our country’s birthday too. The Stuarts would love to hear some of your “war” stories of fireworks gone wrong, happy celebrations and that awful potatoe salad your aunt brought! Happy Happy to you…and the United States of America! #tipstoolsandtingle...

The Gottman Institute has been around for over 40 years. Their research on marriage and relationships comes from their “Love Labs” and is pretty solid and world-renowned. Gil and Brenda share from a recent article from the Washington Post, June 2018, 5 Myths about Marriage that comes from the Gottman Institute. There were some common myths that we all believe, but there were a few surprises too! T...

It’s High School and College graduation season!. Kids hear all the time, the dreaded question “so what are your plans? College, work, what are you going to do with your life?” The conversation continues with Cutis Miller, Executive Director/Founder of Connect Battle Ground. How does a high ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score affect how a child (and adult) navigates this world? The cycle of...

Episode 37 ALL  ACE’s Part 1 (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Interview with Curtis Miller Have you (or someone you know) experienced a Big “T” trauma or a Little “t” trauma? Whether you are a child, teen or an adult, there can be many factors that can lead you to a life of low self-worth, low self-esteem, and a constant self-protection. This impacts all of our relationships. Gil and Brenda intervi...

A blended family that is formed through the pain of widowhood is very difficult, to say the least. Join Gil and Brenda as they interview Jess and Ryan Ronne. Both lost their previous spouses to brain cancer. Grief, loss, compassion, “sainting the person,” is discussed in this pretty raw interview. How do you engage the other family members who are grieving themselves and yet protect your new famil...

In a marriage, the sexual experience is the highest form of communication. In their playful, real style, Gil and Brenda talk about the subject of the sexual relationship in your marriage. And, as usual, they don’t just talk about it from the 30,000 ft level, but they go deeper. Where does the heart come into play? In what ways can you be more intentional in this part of your relationship? How do y...

You’ve never heard an interview like this one. Gil and Brenda hadn’t. You probably hear a lot about the person who was left in the marriage by their spouse. People rally around them to give them support through their “train wreck.” What about the people who left the marriage? Is there forgiveness for them? No matter what side of the fence you are on, listen in for some raw conversation about being...

Most people who get remarried and have adult stepchildren feel that they won’t have any problems. That is a myth, big time. Gil and Brenda discuss the nuances of having adult stepchildren. Yes, there are situations where everything is fine...no doubt. But adult stepchildren are experiencing the same feelings that our little ones who are in the home are experiencing. They are just better at verbali...

Gil and Brenda are here to encourage Stepmoms on Mother’s Day by helping their husbands know what to do! This special day is loaded with emotions and expectations. It can be a party and celebration for some, and yet for others, there is radio silence from their stepchildren. Gil shares 3 pointers to help husbands love their wives through this holiday… with sensitivity, honesty and some laughter. A...

Leisure Time = Marital Happiness. This shouldn’t be rocket science…but sometimes it feels like it! Gil and Brenda have some fun as they share the benefits of married couples dating, and 12 date rules (an addition to Brenda’s already established dating rules!) You are free to add your own! How do you smell? That could be a very important point to talk about. No time for conflict. Not a therapy sess...

Gil and Brenda interview Laura Petherbridge who is an author, international speaker on many topics, and a stepmom cheerleader. In this episode, the conversation covers stepmoms and stepdads who did not bring any biological children into the marriage (although ALL stepmoms/dads will benefit). There are some different moving parts with this type of stepfamily. These new stepmoms can be ambushed by t...