Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

We won’t ask you to answer a brief survey after you listen to this episode. We imagine a dystopian future where the typical survey for your Amtrak ride forces you to compose a 5,000 word answer that details your every thought as you stare out the window from Penn Station to 30th Street Station in Philadelphia.

This leap year’s February 29 didn’t make the front page headlines, but we’re thankful for the bonus extra day, which gave us the gift of time. We propose, in addition to our previous call for an eight day week, to put February 29 on your wall calendar every year. Why? It’s about time.

We slide into the baseball jersey and pants controversy, as Scott is a uniform “expert” going back more than 30 years. Will players someday ask to be traded to a team with colors they like? If the authentic jersey is so thin, will the replica jersey be made of tissue paper? Plus, how to deal with agents who go to a coffee shop after playing basketball, wearing long, baggy shorts that look like dre...

We’re the first to propose that our nation’s Poet Laureate be elected by the voters of the US. This will necessitate a campaign with candidates reading their poetry at diners and rallies across the country, complete with negative ads.

Tom’s breaking news makes us throw out our planned scripted opening, and do an entirely improvised episode. Our second attempt to have a dinner party with Sandy and Ginger is postponed when Tom takes a nasty fall at a coffee shop. He’s happily on the mend, but the question remains. When will the dinner party actually happen?

After describing his glorious Valentine’s Day dinner with Ginger, Scott is encouraged by Tom to pitch his story to Hallmark, and ask for more money than anyone has before. And if they balk at that price, then quickly accept even less than their original offer. Plus, we reintroduce our idea that most films should be 15 minutes with only happy moments, and no conflict or drama. It’s the gift of time...

The Super Bowl gives us some ideas for NFL reform. Instead of just penalties for excessive celebration after a touchdown, let’s give bonus years for a well executed end zone dance routine. Plus, let’s have a fan do color commentary since we come up with what the highly paid analysts say seconds before they do.

Scott celebrates Tom’s birthday 23 days late, but that’s how we procrastinators roll. But a fine lunch was had by all, punctuated by the lively art of conversation. One thing remote workers miss are those office birthday parties that provide copious amounts of cake on a regular basis. What if someone delivered that piece of cake to a remote worker’s apartment and what would ensue?

Tom becomes the “Einstein of Modern Dentistry” by applying his high stepping walking technique to avert trips and falls, to protecting teeth from being broken. His rubber sidewalk proposal is endorsed by The Great Pedestrian Scott, who will lend his support through full page ads in defunct magazines Life, Look and Saturday Evening Post, which we will bring back with a full staff for one issue only...

Instead of the predictably harried and put upon sitcom husband who hates shopping, Tom and Scott love perusing the aisles of Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods, especially with their girlfriends. If Trader Joe’s ran our government, it would run incredibly efficiently, and our leaders would wear Hawaiian shirts and be super friendly and helpful.

What does a “One Sport” like Tom do at the end of his beloved football season? Spoiler Alert: He’s not going to curl up in a fetal position. And Scott angles for a sideline reporter job talking only about uniforms.

As a 20 year old student, Scott once roamed the aisles of a supermarket nervously wondering what he could make for the first dinner he had to cook for his roommates. This week, Scott made a culinary breakthrough when, thanks to Ginger’s training, he cooked a salmon dinner. Food for thought and laughter.

Once again we announce an exciting new trend. The cozy movement. Yes, cozy and comfortable are the new words to live by, especially during these cold winter months. And since cozy actually sounds like what it means, it’s easy and fun to get cozy any time of the day.

The big news in DC isn’t the deal to avert a government shutdown, but Scott’s chance encounter there with Senator Joe Manchin. But the even bigger story might be that Scott wore earmuffs for the very first time shortly before he saw the Senator and his entourage at an iconic DC hotel. There are a million more questions than answers in this exclusive, not ripped from the headlines story.

Helpful tips on what to do and what not to say, if your guests don’t recognize your Pulitzer Prize at your apartment. Plus, we propose a bold new way to hedge your bets in the unlikely event the elevator is out in your building, when you’re expecting guests for dinner. Serve a small alternative dinner party in a corner of the lobby.

Scott scoops the Times again by revealing the new acronym TGIT. Thank God it’s Thursday, which is the new weekend. And Tom gets another scoop from his fiancée about workers returning to the office. You can wait a month to read it in the Times or hear it all right now on this episode.

Tom escapes a Bonfire of the Vanities-ish detour in the Bronx, which leads us to a joyous jaunt on our soon to be completed Time Traveler machine. Yes, we’re settled into a plush circular booth at Ciro’s circa 1950’s, telling the likes of Bogart, Lombard and other stars about the future. They laugh at first, but eventually we gain their trust, and their friendship.

Does Tom’s sea cure and Scott’s Gourmet Get Well diet make them candidates to be President at Penn or Harvard? Plus, Scott has an added edge at Penn since he already owns Penn sweatshirts and T-shirts. And Tom would be the first person in his family ever to President of Harvard.

On the second day of 2024, Tom introduces a look back at the first one, which is a lot easier than going through a whole year. Scott shakes up the nutrition and health industry by rolling out his Gourmet Get Well Diet, which features fresh food and fine cuts of meat and fish, that bring you back to good health.

Scott reveals for the first time that the first time he ate Chicago’s iconic Marshall Field created Frango Mints was just last Saturday at their Christmas Eve dinner that didn’t happen because of the elevator outage. And it was well worth the wait! It’s a Chicago centric end of year episode that you should listen to an hour earlier than you usually do.

We present a very different kind of Hallmark holiday movie called The Elevator Pitch. A planned Christmas Eve dinner with Tom, Sandy, Scott and Ginger is derailed by an elevator outage in Scott and Ginger’s building. But what happens next is stuff you can make up, but no one would believe you if you did.

Tom discovers magical, space age shirts that don’t need to be ironed and even washed! But amidst that joy, Scott reveals the awkward coming of age story of the workshirt he bought in high school that turned out to be an uncool permanent press shirt.

Scott sings the praises of his new neighborhood Murray Hill, and its famed Park Avenue, and all he needs now is George Peppard’s narrow lapeled 1960’s navy suit from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Plus, our continuing Adventures in Obscurity, where we reference William Windom’s short lived “My World and Welcome To It”.

Tom’s “sea cure” miraculously returns him to good health after a 24 hour malady. But an anxious and arduous flight connection in Frankfurt threatens to undo his health and sanity.

In the first known podcast transmission from a cruise ship in the Mediterranean Sea, Tom tells tales of his adventures on the high seas, including visits to Sicily, Genoa, Malta and Marseille, and how he lost his jacket and pants along the way.