Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

If you discussed your supermarket purchases in The Old Normal, you would have been shunned for discussing such mundane matters. But now, being excited about procuring toilet paper and paper towels is actually very interesting and worth sharing.

Karl Lagerfeld once said, “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat.” Tom and Scott think they’re a sign of the times. And while Tom says pants with a belt and zipper make him feel “on top of the world”, Scott wears his Old Navy slim French terry sweatpants constantly when he’s at home. Which is constantly.

In normal times, we would be freaked out by the arrival of giant killer hornets in the US. But when they appear in the middle of a pandemic, they’re less frightening than they are a welcome distraction.

In another positive change in The New Normal, open plan office spaces will be a thing of the past. Who ever aspired to be in the corner cubicle anyway? As more people work from home, is home jury duty on the horizon?

In our never ending quest to reevaluate old expressions, Tom discovers that the silver lining is that clouds don’t have a silver lining. Which means we can happily walk on a cloudy day unencumbered by the fear that chunks of molten silver will fall from the sky.

Tom and Scott offer inventive comedic observations as well as being actual inventors. On today’s show, Tom invents the Anything Bagel. And Scott creates a plan for a robust virus testing program for prospective dates.

On a very special May Day edition, Tom and Scott tell how workers in the US are being mistreated as International Workers Day is celebrated around the world except in the United States, where it originated

Today’s show is ripped from the headlines. From 1939 and the opening of the New York World’s Fair You’ll thrill to actual New York Tunes reporting from 81 years ago today. Plus, Harvard returned $8 million in stimulus funds. Should they also rescind Jared Kushner’s diploma?

Go behind the scenes of our podcast, as Tom and Scott describe the often arduous and demanding process of metaphorically mining for gold in the material our worldwide research department presents to us every day.

You’ve heard of a military coup, but how about a peaceful and scientific medical coup, where Trump and his political cronies are politely asked to leave and are replaced by a team of scientists, doctors and nurses?

Tom’s wife is in India, where it’s actually much safer than it is in California. And she’s living in a town with four open bookstores and the Dalai Lama! So we came up with a sitcom pitch where a brassy NY actress moves in with the Dalai Lama and the sparks really fly. And hilarity ensues.

Canned laughter was a staple of sitcoms for decades, so let’s have canned cheers and boos and bring baseball back with no crowds.

Tom and Scott continue their perhaps not wildly unlikely quest for the Nobel Prize by inaugurating an exciting and uplifting new segment where we try to find the silver lining in seemingly negative stories.

The Constitution should have a clause calling for the immediate removal from office of a President who suggests injecting disinfectant. Although we’re sure Trump’s sycophants will defend him by arguing that a Lysol bottle doesn’t specifically say “Do not inject into your bloodstream.”

Would the anti shelter in place protesters be more inclined to stay at home if they had a nicer home? Tom and Scott propose that the government pay for an Instagram worthy home for every American so they’ll all stay home and flatten the curve more quickly and effectively.

On a very special Earth Day edition, the Green New Deal is already being implemented as few people are flying or driving. And Tom and Scott are doing their part by recording this podcast at home, instead of at the sprawling Podcast City complex where the world’s podcasts are normally produced.

Not since the Civil War, has it made such a difference which state we live in. Tom and Scott are happy to live in California and New York because of their respective governors, and have no desire to move to Georgia, even after they reopened tattoo parlors.

In normal times, a trip to Gelson’’s Supermarket and CVS can be a meandering and relaxing experience. But as Tom tells us in gripping detail, much like a Hitchcock film, it can sometimes feel like playing Russian Roulette, with no offense intended to actual Russians.

It’s Sunday in New York(and LA), but because of exorbitant royalty fees, Scott and Tom can’t sing the soundtrack to the 1963 film of the same name. But we can hold on to our Sunday traditions and rituals, like luxuriating(or wallowing) in a pile of the New York Times, and ordering delivery of bagels, cream cheese and lox. And watching the Sunday news shows to see Mike Pence avoid answering any que...

Tom and Scott aren’t doctors, and they don’t play them on television. But we’re way more credible than the disgraced one name doctors, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew, who have made ignorant and dangerous comments about the pandemic.

Tom and Scott aren’t wearing face masks, because they’re at home, and the CDC doesn’t require them while recording podcasts. But where can they find them online? And no, it’s not easy to make your own. Plus, how we can help Biden win in November.

As more states require us to wear masks, do you have to be a surgeon to know how to put them on and take them off properly? And now that retired doctors and nurses are being asked to return to work, let’s bring back talk show hosts who comforted us after 9-11, like Jon Stewart.

Tom reports from the frontline, Gelson’s Supermarket, where he only shops in the least crowded aisles. And Scott proposes stay at home regulations require people to wear work clothes during the week, except for high school football coaches who can continue to don baggy sweatpants.

Obama endorses Biden after giving it a great deal of thought. Trump claims the Governors regional cooperation is mutiny and he’s Captain Bligh.  And we shout out to listeners a thousand years from now.

Domino’s Pizza algorithms know so much about us, just based on our toppings. And that’s the kind of invasion of privacy we love, because ordering comfort food is so, well, comforting, especially when Trump hints he might want to fire Fauci.