Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

As he prepares for his first trip to Paris, Scott deals with the competitive emotions of the clothes in his closet, all hoping to be chosen for the journey. And Tom counsels Scott on what to do if he is somehow selected to run for President of France while he’s there, and wins.

Tom and Scott are relieved they’re not famous, because they can stroll the streets of the city without being hounded by overeager autograph hounds and selfie takers. And they revel in the fact that they can avoid the fate of those who go from famous to infamous in seconds.

Daytime Forever Time is our latest invention, which will make it light out 24 hours a day. We haven’t worked out the specifics on how to do this, but except for the fireworks industry, everyone will benefit from the elimination of darkness. And nightclub owners, don’t worry. You’ll still be able to call them nightclubs, even though it’s light outside.

You’ll be smiling when you hear Tom and Scott delve deeply into the smile, the most important thing on earth, next to gravity. A smile can make you fall in love, and also be used inappropriately by television news anchors. since the relentless drumbeat of bad news doesn’t call for any smiling.

Scott’s euphoria finding a great deal at a sample sale turns to panic, as the zipper of the shirt jacket he tries on gets stuck. Will he have to wear it for the rest of his life? And have it get soaked every time he takes a shower? The answer to these questions and much more will be revealed.

In an historic episode, Tom reveals, in raw and honest detail, his prostate laser surgery, and how this very podcast is helping him get through this. And we come up with a pitch for a BBC comedy series called On The Mend, featuring a cranky older man with prostate issues, and his caustic but lovingly attentive wife, played by the marvelous Judi Dench.

A case of mistaken identity leads us to ponder how far one can go to appear to be someone they’re not without illegally impersonating them. And the shocking difference between saying “If I may” and “If you will”.

Take a road trip with us without leaving your home! We share our anxieties about driving, while also lauding Tom’s journey from a fearful novice to a skilled navigator of hairpin turns and cross country trips. Scott is determined to become a relaxed driver who doesn’t just look for restaurants on the right hand side of the road.

As part of our ongoing mission to scrutinize cliches and much repeated expressions, we decry the endless use of “nothing burger” by pundits responding to charges against powerful officials, when in fact, the opposite is true. Plus, we think it’s time to stop inventing new words, and start using the thousands of words we never use.

Scott performs his solo show in Manhattan for the first time in many years, in the very 42nd Street neighborhood where he and Tom got their comedy chops at the Manhattan Punch Line Theater in the early 1980’s. In lieu of waiting for reviews of his show at Sardi’s, Scott hears Tom’s glowing review that literally illuminates in the dark.

New York was the winner on Tuesday, with Trump’s arraignment and Marjorie Taylor Greene getting booed off the stage after five minutes like at a bad open mic. There was the calm before the storm, the calm after the storm, and the calm during the storm, as the city kept the tiny contingent of red hatted intruders at bay.

Tom’s aversion to reading his mail leads to a mile high stack that must be scoured to find important tax documents in a race against the clock. While Scott has a more relaxing experience settling his return with a lighthearted and breezy 20 minute call with his accountant.

Scott discovers that NYC nightclubs are alive and well, as he and Ginger take in a thrilling show at Birdland, where they are happily surprised to be seated at a front and center table. Tom exhorts all of our listeners to “get out there” and not stay home all the time, which will no doubt become a very successful marketing campaign.

When a server asks if Scott wants to wear a sombrero at his birthday dinner, Tom steps in and declines, saving Scott from having to hire a crisis management team for cultural appropriation. Tom’s generous and thoughtful dinner was 20 days after Scott’s actual birthday, leading us to call for a Birthday Week, Birthday Month, and eventually a Birthday Year, where we celebrate nonstop. And no more us...

In a new dispatch from Tom and Scott’s ProcrastiNation, Scott moves a step closer to opening the box, assembling and using the Waterpik WaterFlosser. Tom reveals, in a shocking confession, why he stopped using the WaterFlosser from his White Sink Days, when he lived in LA. We discuss our plans for a Museum of Procrastination, coming pretty soon, and we also salute the world leaders who are procras...

It’s the first day of Spring, when a young man’s fancy turns to visitors from outer space. We express both relief that extraterrestrial travelers have not arrived here, with the attendant traffic issues, as well as a desire for them to not just send small advance parties as they have already conceivably done, but to land a large spaceship with many on board, to help save our planet.

We welcome the return of Daylight Savings Time, support the bill that would make it permanent, and as one Senator said, “give Americans two more months of sun.” But we also love that moment when we set the clocks ahead and rejoice in the longer and lighter days. Perhaps letting everyone choose their own Time and time zone is the answer.

We introduce a new way of walking that involves raising one’s knee an inch or two higher than usual, to ward off embarrassing spills on city sidewalks. This “urban marching “ is undetectable to passersby, and is part of our concept of “pedestrianism”, which honors and exalts the pedestrian, wherever they may be.

Scott has just 1000 pages left to read in The Power Broker, which he was inspired to begin reading by the documentary Turn Every Page, which Tom has just seen as well, detailing the decades old working relationship between Robert Caro and Robert Gottlieb. In addition to his powerful and precise writing, Caro exemplifies the German word, referred to in the film, “sitzfleish”, the ability to focus,...

Scott celebrates his Birthday with a Capital B, as he and Ginger love every moment in Washington DC, unlike those Republicans who hate spending time in the city where their job is located. And in an instructive and inspirational moment that should be played for all journalism students, Tom points out how one word can change the meaning of a sentence, and ultimately prevent all wars.

Scott discovers the French word that describes what he and Tom have always been. A Flaneur, walking the streets as urban spectators, marveling at the architecture and people along the way. And there is no English translation that does flaneur justice. So when anyone makes a derisive comment like, “So you just walked around all day?”, we can tell them we’re doing what Degas, Renoir and Cartier-Bres...

Among the many reasons we want workers to return to their offices, is the need to keep creating new films and television shows set in an office. Compare the joys of an office comedy to the tedium of a lone, forlorn person working remotely at home. And another more personal reason is to make Tom’s girlfriend’s office cleaning company flourish again, so they can go back to enjoying burlesque and oth...

By expressing his amazement at AI and ChatGPT, Scott runs the risk of “being a little late to the party”, but he and Tom decide it’s actually better to be a little late, than be on time and the first one there. Because that necessitates a nervous laugh, that Tom suggests that Scott teach for a semester at an Ivy League school.

Tom is opposed to people living forever, which is a possible application of CrispR, the Nobel Prize winning gene editing technology created by Mme Charpentier and Doudna. Scott stages another non intervention to assure Tom that his position will not adversely affect our future friendship with this Nobel Prize winning duo, and may even lead to us winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

It feels great to dress up! Yes, it’s fun to wear your Sunday best, as Scott did for his day after Valentine’s Day dinner with Ginger. And there are other practical benefits to putting on a suit and tie and strolling down Madison Avenue. Since so many offices are still empty, just by taking the elevator to a random floor, you may be given a high paying job and a corner office, just for showing up!