Gay Men Going Deeper

Today we’re diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels. In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with categories like “twink,” “daddy,” “masc,” “otter,” “guy next door,” and every micro-label in between… and how these identities shape the way we date, belong, and see ourselves. We explore: Why labels can feel empowering (and sometimes limiting) Ho...

Today we’re talking about The Slow Fade :  that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one day…it’s just silence. In this episode, we’re unpacking: Why we quietly quit people instead of having real conversations What’s actually happening beneath the surface for both sides — the Fader and the Fadee Who deserves an explanation and w...

What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is “nesting” and why is...

We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it? In this episode, we’re going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm’s length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we’re unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most). You’ll learn: Why receiving love can feel ha...

Some of us don’t fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael DiIorio and therapist, Michael Pezzullo , explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external v...

Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers : those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well. We explore: The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present. How trauma and disappointment condition us to exp...

What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your guiding light? Your compass? What is in the way of you experiencing more joy in your life?  What if you could find joy in how you dress, what you eat, how you exercise, where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, and how you nav...

Joy isn’t just fireworks and big milestones; it’s in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find.  In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re diving into what joy really feels like, how it shifts as we evolve and age, and why it’s less about chasing highs and more about cultivating presence. We’ll explore: The difference between joy...

You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear.   In this episode, Michael is joined by special guest Scott Stirrett as they share their own stories of hustling for achievement and how they’ve learned to stay ambitious without destroying themselves in the process. Together, they unpack how perfectionis...

In this final installment of our 4-part series on grief, we explore the powerful practice of Radical Acceptance —what it means, why it’s so difficult, and how it becomes the turning point in your healing journey. Whether you're grieving the person you used to be, mourning a friendship that faded, or facing the slow heartbreak of watching your parents age, grief often leaves us wrestling with reali...

As our parents get older, many of us are faced with a new kind of grief- the quiet, ongoing loss that comes not from death, but from watching the people who once raised us begin to slow down and need us in ways they never did before. In this deeply personal episode, we open up about the emotional complexity of witnessing our parents age. From role reversals and unresolved wounds, to meaningful mom...

Not all grief is about death. Sometimes, the hardest losses are the people (or pets) who are still alive—but no longer in our lives. In this episode, we’re talking about the heartbreak of losing relationships: romantic breakups, friendship fallouts, and the deep sadness that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved pet. We explore how grief shows up emotionally, mentally, and even physically—and the...

Grief isn’t just about death—it’s also about the quiet losses we carry as we grow and evolve. In this episode, we’re kicking off a 4-part series on grief by exploring what it means to grieve your past. Whether it’s a version of yourself that felt more confident, more desirable, or more socially “relevant,” we often feel a deep emotional pull toward who we used to be. From aging and identity shifts...

Most of us want to be seen, heard, and understood, but the fear of judgment can stop us from doing so. Whether it’s being more social, speaking your feelings, or sharing creative work, putting yourself out there can feel risky, especially when we’ve been conditioned to play it safe due to past hurt or rejection.  In this episode, we’re sharing: Our personal journeys from shy and self-conscious to...

We all know self-love is important, but what happens when it goes too far in the wrong direction? In this episode, Michael DiIorio is joined by therapist Michael Pezzullo for an honest conversation about the shadow side of self-love. Together, they explore: The difference between self-comforting and self-coddling How emotional sensitivity can become emotional fragility Why self-bulldozing is just...

Some of us didn’t choose to become lone wolves—we were shaped into them. Many gay men have learned to rely only on themselves, and while that self-sufficiency can feel empowering, it often comes at the cost of connection and intimacy. In this personal and vulnerable episode, Michael and Matt open up about their own lone wolf energy—where it comes from, how it’s served them, and the moments when it...

In this episode, Matt speaks with queer relationship coach Lonay Halloum about why we attract unavailable men. This episode will provide you with a deeper understanding of your relationship patterns and why you might be attracting unavailable men. This episode was inspired by a deep desire to help you heal the subconscious programs that lead to self-abandonment so you can end this exhausting cycle...

Why do so many gay men struggle with deep fears of rejection—whether in dating, friendships, or even at work? In this episode, we’re unpacking rejection sensitivity : where it comes from, how it shows up in everyday life, and why it can feel so intense for us. Some of the topics we cover: The early roots of rejection sensitivity (hint: it starts young) How social norms, internalized homophobia, an...

How would you, your life, and your experience be if you were free from uncertainty, instability, and insecurity? While it can’t be promised you won’t have to experience these again, in this special solo episode, Reno shares personal experiences, perspectives, anecdotes, and practices to help you relate to them in ways that do create more freedom, creativity, resourcefulness, resilience, discernmen...

We may be adults, but a lot of us are still living in emotional childhood—blaming others for how we feel and how we act. When you give other people control over your emotions, you give away your power. In this episode, we're breaking down what it means to take responsibility for your emotions and why it is fundamental if you want true freedom, stronger relationships, and genuine self-confidence. W...

In this episode, Matt speaks with author and love advocate, Scott Stabile. Together, they break down the psycho-spiritual aspects of the inner critic and how to best work with it from a place of love. If you are someone who is hard on yourself and has a tough time finding self-love and self-compassion, this episode will help you develop greater awareness of your inner critic, where self-judgment o...

What happens when we avoid feeling our emotions? In this episode, we explore the importance of emotional awareness: tuning in instead of checking out. We share what happens when we suppress our feelings, and how to navigate the tough ones with compassion and care. We also explore: The link between emotional avoidance and things like addiction, depression, and burnout What blocks us from feeling ou...

It’s Pride Month, and with everything going on in the world right now, it feels especially important to pause and reflect. In this special panel discussion episode, Reno Johnston is joined by three incredible guests—Mark Fleming, Keone Wales, and Jordan Layne—for a candid panel discussion on the meaning of Pride: where it began, how it’s evolved, and what it means to each of us today. Together, th...

In 2025, LGBTQ rights are facing renewed challenges- from the rise of far-right populism to legislative rollbacks and the rise of hate sweeping across the globe. But how serious is the threat? And if the fight is back on… are we ready? This week, Michael is joined by author and longtime activist, Tim McCaskell , who’s been on the front lines of LGBTQ+ resistance for over five decades. From the bat...

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a question many in our community have been quietly (or loudly) asking: Has Pride lost its meaning? In this wide-ranging conversation, we reflect on how Pride has evolved from its radical roots in activism to its present-day celebratory scene shaped by media, politics, and corporate sponsorships. We talk about what’s been gained, what’s been lost, and what stil...