Garden Plots with Skeletor

BE SURE THAT YOU HAVE PUT YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER, BECAUSE YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE THE SPOOKY EXPERIENCE THAT IS EPISODE 20! OF COURSE, WHEN YOU ARE AS INHERENTLY TERRIFYING AS I AM, ALL YOUR WORKS CARRY A CERTAIN SPOOK FACTOR TO THEM, AND THIS EPISODE IS NO DIFFERENT REGARDLESS OF A CERTAIN HOLIDAY! AFTER DEMONSTRATING MY UNQUESTIONABLE GRASP ON YOUTH SPEAK, WE COVER THE PRACTICALITIES OF HARVESTING AN...

YOU CANNOT RESIST THE UNIMAGINABLE FORCE AND MAJESTY OF EPISODE NINETEEN! YES, I REALIZE THAT LAST EPISODE WAS SOMEWHAT ATYPICAL OF THIS SHOW, BUT *THIS* EPISODE... IS ALSO SOMEWHAT ATYPICAL! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! THIS IS MY SHOW AND SOMETIMES THINGS THAT SEEM OFF-TOPIC AND UNUSUAL ARE SIMPLY PART OF A GREATER PLAN! AND SOMETIMES LINGERING ISSUES NEED TO BE ADDRESSED! ISSUES LIKE MINION-BASED BETRAYA...

ugh, i can't even with this. it's like, i get why he's mad, but he has no idea why *i'm* mad? not even a little bit? what a jerk. you know what, i'm glad uncle hordak is still around. at least then they can be jerks at each other some of the time instead of at me all the time. i guess i should probably write something about this episode. i dunno, skeletor talks about cilantro for a bit and how muc...

BEG ALL YOU WANT, PLEAD ALL YOU LIKE, IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD AGAINST THE BOUNDLESS FURY OF EPISODE SEVENTEEN! ALL YOU WOULD-BE CULTIVATORS OF AQUATIC PLANTS CAN THROW YOURSELVES AT MY FEET IN BREATHLESS GRATITUDE, FOR IT IS IN THIS EPISODE THAT WE DISCUSS WATER GARDENS! MER-MAN, MY MOST MOIST OF MINIONS, JOINS ME ON THE MIC AND SHARES BOTH INSIGHT INTO THE BENEFITS OF WATER GARDENS, AND THE OCCASI...

IF YOU NEED PROOF OF THE EXISTENCE OF A HIGHER BEING THAN YOURSELF, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN EPISODE 16! AND THERE ARE CERTAIN MINIONS AROUND SNAKE MOUNTAIN THAT WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT THEY, TOO, ARE BEING WATCHED BY A HIGHER POWER... ONE THAT SEES ALL, KNOWS ALL, AND IS EAGER TO DOLE OUT WELL-DESERVED PUNISHMENT! BUT THAT COMES LATER! FIRST WE GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT TREACHEROUS PLANTS LIKE THE...

BANISH FROM YOUR PUNY MINDS ANY MISCONCEPTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM THE TERRIFYING POWER OF EPISODE 15--I ASSURE YOU, YOU CANNOT! AFTER BRIEFLY INDULGING ALL OF YOU WITH DARING TALES OF MY ESCAPE FROM ETERNIAN PRISON, I INDULGE YOU EVEN FURTHER BY ANSWERING YOUR INANE QUESTIONS ON-AIR! WE DISCUSS MY SHOPPING PREFERENCES! WE MENTION HOW YOU CAN AP...

sup y'all, it's riley again. yeah, skeletor was still locked up for this episode, but i wasn't gonna get arrested by trying to bring the recording equipment back to his cell, so i figured i'd just wing it this week. turns out though, a lot of skeletor's minions actually have a lot to say when a certain someone isn't screaming at them constantly. evil-lyn talks about her ambitions. beast man gives...

hey fam, riley here, and you know what that means. yup, skeletor couldn't write the description for this ep. turns out eternia has some pretty strict laws when it comes to, you know, trying to conquer the world or whatever, so he's not exactly in a position to make it to the usual recording studio, if you know what i mean. we do what we can, though. we still manage to talk about... uh, moss, i thi...

ENJOY WHAT REMAINS OF YOUR PITIFUL STATUS QUO, FOR EPISODE TWELVE HAS ARRIVED TO SMASH ALL OF YOUR PRECONCEPTIONS! AFTER RILEY WASTES ALL OF OUR TIME BY REFUSING TO ADMIT TO HER OWN GARDENING INCOMPETENCE, WE GET INTO THE EPISODE PROPER BY SPEAKING ABOUT MONSTERAS! WE INTERROGATE THE MARIGOLD AND ITS POSSIBLE BEAST MAN-KILLING PROPERTIES! WE SPEAK OF THE USES OF INSECT MINIONS IN YOUR GARDEN DURIN...

REMEMBER WELL THIS DAY, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNPARALLELED EPISODE ELEVEN! AND THIS IS AN ESPECIALLY INSTRUCTIVE EPISODE ABOUT WHY IT IS UNWISE TO CROSS OR DISAPPOINT ME! WE START WITH TALKING ABOUT HOW TO SELECT, AND THEN STEAL, PLANTS FROM LOCAL NURSERIES! BUT THAT DISCUSSION IS CUT WOEFULLY SHORT--BECAUSE OF SOME BUNGLING FROM AN ESPECIALLY INCOMPETENT MINION, WE ARE FORC...

YOU MAY COMMENCE THANKING ME PROFUSELY FOR THE GLORY AND WONDER OF EPISODE TEN! AND FRANKLY, I EXPECT A LOT MORE GRATITUDE IN GENERAL GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF WISDOM AND GUIDANCE I PROVIDE FOR YOU PEOPLE ON A REGULAR BASIS! SINCE I HAVE NOW PROVIDED YOU WITH TEN FULL EPISODES OF SAID WISDOM AND GUIDANCE, IN FACT, I HAVE DECIDED TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE A GLIMPSE INTO MY INNER LIFE WITH ALL OF Y...

JUST AS THE DARKEST OF PROPHECIES PREDICTED, EPISODE NINE HAS ARRIVED IN ALL ITS HORRIFYING GLORY! PREPARE, IF YOU CAN, FOR AN ESPECIALLY EDUCATIONAL FERAL FOLIAGE SEGMENT ON THE DASTARDLY DANDELION! STEEL YOURSELVES FOR MY SAGE WISDOM ON SELECTING TRANSPLANT SEEDLINGS! TRY NOT TO BE OVERCOME BY AWE AS I ADVISE A LISTENER ON DEALING WITH UNWANTED HERBIVOROUS PESTS! AND... LOOK, LISTENERS, I'VE ONL...

YOU MAY HAVE PRAYED FOR DELIVERANCE FROM EPISODE EIGHT, BUT THOSE PRAYERS HAVE FALLEN ON DEAF EARS! IN THIS EPISODE, I MAGNANIMOUSLY SHARE MY PRECIOUS AIRTIME WITH A GUEST, ONE WHO BRINGS AN... UNCONVENTIONAL VIEW OF PLANTS WITH HER! SHE AND I (REALLY JUST ME) HELP MY SOUND MINION RILEY WITH HER LAUGHABLY REMEDIAL BIOLOGY HOMEWORK! WE TRY AN OFFERING OF LIBATIONS GIVEN TO US BY A LISTENER! AND NOW...

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE, EPISODE SEVEN LEAPS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS! AND DESPITE THE... BRIEF SETBACK OF LAST EPISODE, MY VILLAINY IS ONCE MORE IN FULL SWING THANKS TO AN INSPIRING NEW SECRET WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL OF EVIL! BE GLAD, THEN, THAT I HAVE CHOSEN ONLY TO BRING YOU PLANT KNOWLEDGE INSTEAD OF OUTRIGHT DESTRUCTION! THIS EPISODE TOUCHES ON THAT POWER-HUNGRY HERB KNOWN AS MINT! WE SP...

hey, it's riley. skeletor didn't feel like doing one of these description things for this episode, so i guess i have to be the professional one. it's a whole thing, you'll see. anyway, we talk about finding dead plants in feral foliage. we see if swedish ivy will kill beast man. we take a question from a listener about watering their peace lily. but mostly it's mer-man going over the latest plot a...

YOU CAN NEITHER RUN NOR HIDE FROM THE TERROR OF EPISODE FIVE! NOR SHOULD YOU WANT TO, UNLESS YOU FEAR QUALITY GARDENING KNOWLEDGE OFFERED IN A PLEASING AND FORCEFUL FASHION! I TALK ABOUT TRANSITIONING YOUR GARDEN AS THE WEATHER BEGINS TO CHANGE! WE TOUCH ON THE FEARSOME AND IMMORTAL TILLANDSIA AND ITS POTENTIAL LETHALITY REGARDING BEAST MAN! I GRACE YOUR IGNORANT EARS WITH PRICELESS KNOWLEDGE REGA...

LOOK UPON EPISODE FOUR, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR! YES, I'M TALKING SPECIFICALLY TO YOU, HE-MAN! I GIFT YOU WITH A SLIVER OF MY VAST KNOWLEDGE OF PEAS! WE SPEAK OF THE RUBBER PLANT AND ITS ADMIRABLY DARK AESTHETIC! A LISTENER QUESTION PROMPTS AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISCUSSION WITH A MINION WHO, FRANKLY, NEEDS TO LEARN TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS! I ESTABLISH MY UNQUESTIONABLE SUPERIORITY OVER A PUNY HOLIDAY!...

NOTHING IN YOUR PITIFUL MORTAL LIFE COULD HAVE PREPARED YOU FOR THE GRANDEUR OF EPISODE THREE! I INTRODUCE A MONUMENTAL NEW SEGMENT THAT WILL HAVE ALL OF ETERNIA TREMBLING AT MY FEET! I EXAMINE THE HIDDEN POWER OF THE OTHERWISE UNASSUMING SNOW DROP! I DEIGN TO SHARE WITH YOU THE SECRETS OF A SPECIALLY-MADE HOT BED! I EXPOUND UPON THE CORRECT WAY OF GROWING SAGE IN YOUR HOME! I RIGHTFULLY LAMBAST A...

BEHOLD, IF YOU DARE, THE MONSTROUS VISAGE OF EPISODE TWO! WE APPARENTLY NEED TO SPEND TIME TALKING ABOUT MY NEW SOUND MINION, BUT AFTER THAT WE MOVE ON TO DISCUSSING CARING FOR PLANTS IN WINTER! I CRUSH MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT GMOS AND HEIRLOOMS LIKE THE PATHETIC VERMIN THEY ARE! I UNFORTUNATELY FIND THE NEED TO EJECT A MEDDLING MINION FROM MY RECORDING LAIR! SPEAKING OF MEDDLING MINIONS, WE EXAMINE...

TREMBLE BEFORE THE TERRIFYING DEBUT OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR! AFTER A BRIEF AND FRANKLY UNNECESSARY INTRODUCTION OF YOURS TRULY, WE MOVE INTO AN EXAMINATION OF THE SNAKE PLANT AND HOW TO BEST KEEP IT ALIVE DESPITE YOUR CONSTANT BUNGLING! THERE IS A LISTENER QUESTION! WE EXAMINE WHETHER POINSETTIAS WILL KILL BEAST MAN! MER-MAN VALIDATES MY LONG-HELD OPINIONS! AND MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST OVER ET...

Are you looking for gardening guidance but can't stand the vague, wishy-washy answers to your plant problems? Are you sick and tired of advice from people you wouldn't trust to peel an orange, much less fertilize an orchid? Well you're in luck, because it is I, Skeletor, here casting pods at you. If you know anything about my work, and you should, it's that I am the sworn enemy of He-Man and the r...