Garbage Fire Podcast

Wherein your hosts talk about how goddamn weird I Am The Night is, which Chris wins in a 64-man tournament (spoiler alert: you already know), why Bradley Cooper's best role is the one where you can't see his face, why the Oscars were kinda meh, whether or not HTTYD 3 is the best animated movie of all time, and why buying pants is a futile venture.

Wherein your hosts talk for a LONG time (seriously, an hour) about books they loved, hated, and haven't read, why the term "well-read" is a lot of garbage, which trash male fictional character(s) they'd bang, why 'dickhole' is a great insult, what they'd sacrifice for Taylor Hall to return to Edmonton (the answer WILL surprise you), and which choking hazard candy they'd banish forever.

Wherein your hosts talk about the return of Sam Gagner, what jobs your favourite hockey personalities would have done in the 19th century, how perfect John Mulaney is as SpiderHam, why Venom was much less horny than anticipated, why Hamilton is the absolute greatest (and why you should download the cast recording yesterday), which sporting event they want to see before they die, and why Jamie Benn...

Wherein your hosts talk about how to survive both physically and mentally during a cold snap, why this season of Outlander was both underwhelming and satisfying, why The Last Kingdom is must-see TV (even if it's hard out there for a woman), why Edmontonians should eat at Arbys, and why you shouldn't use frozen lip balm.

Wherein your hosts try to guess the plot of various Oscar nominated films, why The Last Kingdom is just violent enough to be enjoyable, why exam break in a high school is the best time of year, and whether or not K will cry when she sees Hamilton live.

Wherein your hosts talk about Vice and its cast, what secrets and hard truths they would never tell their students, why they were a little confused about Outlander, what new movies and TV shows they're looking forward to, how (the lack of) Pitch is still a sore spot, whether or not Miles Wood is pretty good, which one for one trade should die in a fire (spoiler: not that one), and some controversi...

Wherein your hosts talk about why Aquaman is worth a watch, why Mary Poppins Returns is better(!) than the original, which books they have read and are reading right now, why it's important to read and watch new things instead of reconsuming the same stuff all the time, whether or not the Oilers have hit rock bottom (spoiler: no), and why Jamie Benn gets killed this time.

Wherein your hosts talk about why the Oilers are a tire fire, why the Wilmington episode of Outlander was both satisfying and not, what their favourites of 2018 were (including a brand new ranking of the Chrises), what memes they didn't get, why the people on House Hunters are the absolute worst and what Connor McDavid calls his hockey pants.

Wherein your hosts talk about Puck Soup and what they are going to miss about it (hint: it's the scallops and the sighing), Outlander (and how to fix it), just what they think the Society for the Appreciation of English Beefsteak actually is, why The Christmas Chronicles is a real good family Christmas movie that doesn't involve a Christmas Man, what kind of character would be in their next origin...

Wherein your hosts talk about the relationship between Gritty and the Philly Phanatic, why Megan is a Swim Dad, how many enemies are on their lists, why it's more fun being a fan of a bad team than a good team, which sports league is the worst, what gifts they'd want for the twelve days of Christmas, and what the coldest place on earth is.

Wherein your hosts talk about the last episode of Outlander and why Claire is super frustrating, how time travel works, why The Last Kingdom is more than just fucking and fighting, Kelsey's unscripted review of A Quiet Place, whether or not a woman could coach the Cleveland Browns, who Sleezy Swallows is, what they're looking forward to about Christmas, why Archie Andrews needs to die, and how to...

Wherein your hosts talk about why early mornings are the worst, how The Outlaw King left them wanting and how we need to #normalizeit, what they're most looking forward to in season 4 of Outlander, what books they've been reading, why The Walking Dead is better than last season, why winter in Edmonton is MUCH different from winter in New Jersey, and why Kelly Buchberger will be the Oilers next hea...

Wherein your hosts (and special guest Amanda) talk about how great Sweden is, how bad America is, some of the intricacies of sports law, why and how Drew Doughty definitely got hosed on his contract extension, their predictions for the NHL Global Series game, who they think is going to win the Stanley Cup this year (and why Megan will cry if Patrick Marleau wins the Cup), how hard it is to answer...

Wherein your hosts talk about the things they (don't) like about the 2013 Baz Luhrmann film, including everything except Joel Edgerton and the scene with the shirts. Stay tuned for their recasting, featuring some very unsurprising choices.

Wherein your hosts talk about why September felt like a year, why water polo with horses would be awesome, why The Fosters is worth watching even though it's SO BAD, who Tim Riggins actually belongs with, why Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean are doomed, why spicy apple water is the best hot beverage, and whether or not Jamie Benn has been rooting around in Librarian Mike's garden.

Wherein your hosts talk about being exhausted after only one week of work, the whole Serena Williams US Open debacle, why Nathan Peterman is a bad quarterback (and why Colin Kaepernick should have an NFL job), why Crazy Rich Asians was both delightful and necessary, which athletes' phone numbers they would want to have (the answers shouldn't surprise anyone), which WWE wrestler they'd marry, and w...

Wherein your hosts talk about all the calamity on Long Island, why switching cars with your friend is a terrible idea, why careless people are the worst kind of people, and whether or not Gatsby meant to go swimming.

Wherein your hosts talk about Hayley Wickenheiser getting hired by the Leafs, why BlacKkKlansman is absolutely required viewing, how To All The Boys I've Loved Before is the best romantic comedy in years (and why Peter Kavinsky is the absolute best), whether or not they'd panic if they were locked in a room, what the Oilers house band name would be, and if Jamie Benn likes Tootsie Pops.

Wherein your hosts delve into Gatsby's past (and whether or not his self-made status is holding him back), why Tom Buchanan is such a colossal asshat, whether or not Gatsby truly loves Daisy (and vice versa), whether you can repeat the past (spoiler: no), and whether or not Tom and Daisy hold any affection for one another.

Wherein your hosts dissect the horribly awkward meeting between Gatsby and Daisy, laud Nick for some of the decisions he makes, talk about the shirts and why that scene is the best in the book (and movie), and try to determine what, exactly, is perfect happiness.

Wherein your hosts talk about whether or not Nick is a reliable narrator, why Meyer Wolfsheim's cufflinks are so notable, whether or not Gatsby's intentions are pure, and what, exactly, Gatsby stares at off the end of his dock.

Wherein your hosts do a midsummer update (because they're reunited and it feels so good) and talk about why Ben Wyatt is not a great character (and why Ron Swanson is), which animal would be best to size up to horse size, what video game cheat codes should be real, which body part should be detachable, what mythical creature should exist on earth, how spaghetti and weather are related, and whether...

Wherein your hosts talk about competing idea of wealth (and which characters possess which kind), whether or not material wealth can bring happiness to a person, what it means to be casually sorry, and why there are so damn many ghosts on Long Island.

Wherein your hosts dive into chapter 2 of The Great Gatsby, discuss the asshattedness of Tom Buchanan, whether or not Nick is complicit in the chaos (spoiler: yes), why the 'party' in this chapter is grotesque above all else, whether or not the Valley of Ashes is aptly named, and just what the heck the eyes of Dr T.J. Eckleburg are looking at.

Wherein your hosts begin their discussion of F. Scott Fitzgerald's 'The Great Gatsby", try to figure out the motivations of particular characters, decide whether or not Daisy Buchanan is an intellectual, and assess the success of the first party on Long Island Sound. (This is Part 1 of 9, and will continue through July, with a normal garbage episode in August, and then back to the book talks until...