FreedHearts

Okay, let’s talk about sex!  Did you know that term “unnatural sex” that we read about in the Bible is any sex that's not procreative?!  One theme emerged that shifted our view of the nonaffirming church and drove our deconstruction. That theme is the motivation to protect the institution even as it diminishes and even destroys the people within.  So today, we’ll look at patriarchy and misogy...

Abuse is basically someone in power using, misusing those without power. Whether it’s emotional, spiritual, physical, or sexual. It’s someone with more power abusing someone with less power. Is your church spiritually abusive? Today, we give you ways to know for sure. To discover this can be troubling, depressing. But it is so beautifully freeing.  Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EM...

What Does it Really Mean to Deconstruct My Faith? When you leave your previous understanding of your faith, it may feel as if you lost your entire identity because of how tightly you held those beliefs. In this episode, we talk about what it really means to deconstruct your faith. What affirms our deconstruction is realizing that God is in all the places we were told not to go.  Send us a private...

Do you wish you could get away from that internalized voice of disapproval and shame?  This is one of the hardest issues to face for LGBTQ+ people on their path to acceptance, and for families and loved ones — especially those with a faith background.  Today, we talk about the enemy within: internalized queerphobia.  Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us...

What a time it is! I’ve had to pull myself back from living in a constant state of fight or flight. How about you?  Fight or flight is meant to be a temporary state, a brilliant way to protect us from that proverbial tiger. But that should be a very small portion of our lives.  If we find ourselves stuck in fight or flight - what’s the alternative? What is the ideal state look like? Send us a priv...

This episode is for parents of LGBTQ children; or LGBTQ people with parents; or those allies and friends who know parents. In other words, this is for you! In our work with tens of thousands of parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer children, there are 5 questions that almost always come up. Things they are concerned about; things they wonder and worry about. In this episode, we...

It’s common in today’s non-affirming church teaching to talk about the Bible as “the inerrant, unchanged word of God,” meaning, if you even question what you’ve been taught about the Bible or what it says, you are labeled a heretic! But, as we have discovered on our own deconstruction journey, there are a lot of problems with that! In this episode, we talk about what to do with the Bible in the mi...

I went to seminary as an evangelical. I had no idea it was going to hold so many surprises. Here are the top 7 shockers that change the entire game of Christianity.  Knowing these will help us continue to unravel the hurtful, destructive teachings that, in truth, really have nothing to do with Jesus, God or the Bible.  It was the beginning of the deconstruction of my faith, and the beginning of a...

The teaching of contempt, the teach of “ us vs them, ” has seeped into our culture and thinking.  There’s no magic answer to fix it, and it has taken root in our lives, in society. So, what can we do?  In this powerful episode, we discover how to recognize and deal with contempt in our lives - that we are receiving and that we are giving. This episode is about beginning to truly see ourselves and...

If you could write a love letter to your past self - to little Susie Q or little Bobby - what would you say?  And if you could write a love letter to your future self - in 10, 20, 30 years - what would you say? In this episode, we talk about the thread of love running through your life, what may be hindering that, and how we can free our hearts to love and be loved - as we deserve.  The most impor...

How often do you find yourself responding to the same old questions and hurtful comments from non-affirming people? In this episode, we discuss why you should never waste your time, never waste your heart debating with, or explaining yourself to someone who is committed to misunderstanding you. It can be toxic! You don't deserve it, and we'll talk about how we can respond instead.  Send...

By the time Susan turned 24, both her parents and three brothers had died! She had been relentlessly bullied; and was married and divorced. This personal, intimate episode is for those of us who have experienced pain and heart-breaking loss, and how to turn that into heart-freeing love. Susan opens up and shares her heart and her incredible story in this special episode.   Send us a private messag...

So much pain has been inflicted in the name of God. We have been deeply hurt, we get triggered and we want nothing to do with Jesus. But what has been used to hurt us has been absolute lies and is not really about God or Jesus ! One of the worst things that ever happened to Jesus was the religion of Christianity, and non-affirming Christianity has largely gotten him wrong. Jesus is still one of th...

In this beautiful, intimate episode, Susan talks openly about her decision to have her breasts and ovaries removed as part of her battle with cancer, and how it impacted her femininity. "I learned the power of loving my body. I learned how much I took my body for granted and how much more I wanted to love it. We have tied our femininity so much to our body -- our shape, our size, our sexiness...

In a beautiful, very special holiday episode, we share three stories - one from Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple ; one from Sandra Cisneros; and a unique retelling of the Biblical story for us outliers, the rest of us.  I hope these unwrap the way we see and celebrate this Christmas holiday season.   It is about reconstructing Christmas in the midst of a deconstructing faith.  Celebrating...

Why do parents struggle with loving their LGBTQ children?  The false teachings and faulty arguments that lead parents to reject their LGBTQ children.  Why do LGBTQ struggle with internalized homophobia, with loving themselves? The false teachings and faulty arguments that lead LGBTQ people to reject themselves.  Important information; and a tender, powerful message on how to respond to those who u...

Our first visit to the FreedHearts Podcast Inbox !  In this special episode we answer questions we have received from our listeners. I am pretty sure you have heard them, or even asked them yourself! Questions about supporting an LGBTQ person who is in the middle of a very non-affirming environment; talking to anti-gay pastors and church leaders; the difference between a welcoming and a truly affi...

“My child is walking away from God!” “I know I don’t believe what I used to but I don’t know what I believe now!” “How can I believe in God at all anymore?” What happens when your faith starts to change? Deconstructing our faith is letting go of any part of whatever you believe that does NOT tell you that you are absolutely, unconditionally acceptance, included, loved and beloved. It can be scary...

Have you been uninvited to a holiday or family gathering?   Is that kind of event the last place you would want to be because of things that are said or just because of how you are made to feel?   Let’s talk about how to navigate difficult family situations, and also about options for when you can’t, or don’t want to go home for the holidays.  Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL A...

How do we deal with infuriating family fanatics?   When we are afraid, angry, and even hurt, how do we love people we don’t even like that much?  What does that mean, and what does it not mean?  Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show

What a time it has been! We have been through a lot, almost like going through a war together. Many of us are exhausted!  And for a lot of you, all of this is in addition to the daily rejection and hurt we receive from family and friends - just because you are LGBTQ.   Now is the perfect time for self care.  Now is the perfect time for a love letter… to ourselves.   Send us a private message. *Not...

Even the most optimistic people, this year is doing a number on us. It seems as if every day something else is happening – wildfires, floods, protests, politics, racial tension, and deaths and suffering on so many levels from COVID. Our emotional and mental health is fragile. We just can’t seem to get our footing. And it just keeps piling up. We are stressed, afraid, angry. The present is overwhel...

There has been so much hurt justified “in the name of love.” We all think we’re loving, so why do so many people feel unloved?  What is love, really? The answer may surprise you. We will give you the definition of love in 14 beautiful, powerful words. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show

In this episode, we talk about one of the two deadliest teachings in all of humanity. It is at the heart of our division . It is responsible for some of history’s most brutal treatment of ethnic groups, religious groups, women, LGBTQ; and it is rampant today. What is it and what can we do?  Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the...

We have gone from being leaders in the evangelical church to fully affirming parents of two LGBTQ children, as well as fierce advocates and allies. Our faith evolved without asking our permission. What can you expect on a journey that asks you to deconstruct your faith? How does that impact our core beliefs and our community? Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'...