Found Family with MaryB. Safrit

We've reached the end of our ninth season, which focused on purity culture, sexuality, and singleness. To wrap up this season, I have a brief message for you. We know that this season's subject matter was heavy. Maybe some episodes interested you, but you weren't ready to dive into them. Maybe you listened religiously. Maybe the one-a-week pace was too much for you. However this sea...

In today's episode, David and I cover a LOT of ground. You'll hear us discuss: the patterns of toxicity every ideology is prone to why we need the passionate side of love why singles (esp. gay celibates) get so much push back why church leaders need to come to terms with the social  and cultural privilege they have because of marriage, and literally so much more David Bennett is original...

In today's episode, you're going to hear Zach and I talk about:  learning the language of our sexuality  worshipping and celebrating God in spirit and in truth exploring the bravery of vulnerability and the beauty of the Black queer community. Zachary Gillis, born and raised in Northwest Indiana in the cities of Gary, Hammond, and Merrillville, has been proud to call South Bend home sinc...

In today's episode, you'll hear Meg and I talk about:  why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteous refocusing how we use our privilege what aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey how to not pass on false gospels and despair and the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with Jesus Meg Baatz is the co-founder of Kaleidos...

In today's episode, Sam and I discuss:  the unique kind of intimacy that's only possible in friendship what the Bible can teach us about affection in friendships (hint: it’s WAY MORE than you think) why purity culture is the antithesis of the gospel and learning healthy dynamics in our spiritual families Sam Allberry is a pastor based at Immanuel Nashville, as well as the author of sever...

In today's episode, Christine and I talk about:  the difference between pursuing good and avoiding bad why consent is the floor, not the bar, when it comes to good sex our struggle to use moral language to describe sex and how social inequities can make consent complicated Christine Emba is the author of Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, as well as an opinion columnist and editor at The Washingt...

In this episode, Kat talks about:  what led her to question the sexual script she'd learned in purity culture how she moved from shame and fear into freedom the difference between the desire for sex and sexual desire and what to do with our sexual desire as people who are single Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, author of Sexless in the City , and Founder of the online...

In today's episode, you'll hear Amber and I talk: about why we need to reckon with our idolatry of marriage how we can build community and family as singles why kids and parents need a comprehensive understanding of sexual stewardship beyond the birds and the bees talk many of us received and ways single parents can ask for help with hard conversations Amber is the Vice President of Impa...

In this episode, you'll hear Henry and Benaiah talk about:  The people, communities, and universes we miss out on when we enforce purity culture Purity culture throughout the years—and its impact in high school, college, young adulthood, and beyond  Abandoning the controlling nature of purity culture by releasing and letting go of control  The macro and micro decisions, choices, and responsib...

In today's episode, you're going to hear Bridget and I talk about: how modern context twists the intended message of Scripture who gets forgiveness the social forces that created and perpetuated purity culture and ways to shape our culture and society in a healthier direction Bridget provides support to churches and ministries seeking to improve their relationship with the LGBTQ communit...

In this episode, Matthias and I talk about:  why generosity feels terrifying—but is actually the thing that will free us  why survivors of purity culture must rebuild trust with self the unique shame those of us with little to no sexual experience might have and how to move through it and the importance of letting ourselves make mistakes Matthias Roberts (he/him) is a queer psychotherapist, podcas...

In this episode, Kendall and I talk about: what bread can teach us about unmet longing the struggle to capture and communicate the single experience the connection between diet culture and purity culture And what it looks like to let God meet our needs in unexpected ways Today you get to hear from a guest who was on our podcast back in season 5. We are so pumped to have Kendall Vanderslice back in...

TW: Sexual Violence was mentioned around the 10-minute mark. Kelly is a delight, and in today's episode, you'll hear us talk about: how to let our beliefs and desires evolve how purity culture still affects the way we treat singles the power of challenging gender roles and learning to take up space and why we need to give ourselves room to get things wrong As a heads up, this week's...

This season we're focusing on purity culture, sexuality, and singleness. You'll hear from theologians, counselors, an educator, a sociologist, and more--each of them single and Christian and full to the brim with brilliance and heart. They also represent a range of perspectives, convictions, and life experiences. You'll hear how they are reimagining, rethinking, and reconstructing t...

In today’s episode, Alysia and I talk about: how writing builds empathy what it means to embody our faith and the power of being honest with yourself Dr. Alysia Nicole Harris is an award-winning poet and spoken-word artist, an educator, and a linguist. In 2008 she featured on the HBO documentary: Brave New Voices where she wowed audiences with her piece "That Girl". In 2010 Alysia gradua...

In this episode, you'll hear Grant and I talk about: the intersection of a deeply rooted faith and LGBTQ culture how celibacy can be life-giving spiritual and found family understanding the nuance of attraction and more! We are resharing an episode from season 5, but now you get to hear the full conversation. Grant and I recorded this conversation in November 2020. This was one of my favorite...

We've made it to the season 8 wrap up episode. We spent this whole season hearing from some awesome guests about their experience being single and in the church--the good, the bad, and the awkward. For this wrap up episode, you're going to hear our favorite clips from each episode, which I'll string together with some solid narration. Audio clips are from Henry Abuto , Matt Linden ,...

In this episode, Katelyn and I discuss: the intersection of celebrity and marital status in the church how cultural context impacts how we singles see ourselves the problem with singles' events at most churches the power of being part of a spiritually nourishing community and more! Katelyn Beaty is a Midwest native living in New York City and editorial director for Brazos Press. But the most...

In this episode, Jason and I cover: navigating relational boundaries as a single pastor what we miss when we require pastors to be married how our assumptions create barriers in our friendships why equating marriage with righteousness doesn't work and more! Jason Adam Miller is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teac...

In today's episode, you'll hear Kayana and I talk about: lessons from being raised by a single mom learning and unlearning relational patterns why the church needs to talk about marriage differently how art can help us process and heal relational wounds and more! Kayana is a singer-songwriter and producer born and raised in New York. Music was Kayana’s first language, having learned pian...

TW: sexual assault and abuse In today’s episode, you’ll hear Matt and Anna talk about  the cost of touch deprivation Why non-sexual touch is so important how gender norms and sexuality play into our view of touch how we can move forward Anna is a 30-something single woman with a passion for singles’ advocacy in the church. She’s the founder of an online community called The Single Hearted Life, wh...

In this episode, you'll hear Yana Jenay and I talk about: the importance of being around other single Christians what to look for in a church as a single person the affect of healthy relationships between singles and leadership Yana Jenay's advice for single people and more!  Yana Jenay Conner is a writer and Bible teacher who seeks to help others think well about faith and culture. By G...

In this chat, you'll hear about Mutuality: the missing ingredient in too many friendships between marrieds and singles  What single friends need from their married friends—and vice versa How to identify and express our needs—and unlearn what the Church has taught us about ignoring our need Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denomi...

In this episode you'll hear about:  The weird ins and outs of Christian dating culture The underrated value of clear communication Why Landen says "if" rather than "when" when talking about marriage How purity culture reinforces ring-by-spring culture And so much more! Landen Swain is an author, viral content creator, speaker, playwright, and lyricist. Moved to compassiona...

In this episode, you'll hear about: untangling cultural Christian expectations  how to treat singles as whole people allowing for all feelings in singleness which kinds of relationships deserve more attention (and why) and so much more! Today is an extra special episode of Unsuitable , because you're going to get to hear from two guests at once! Audrey Elledge lives in New York, where sh...