For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Jack Pitt-Brooke are joined by football writer Jonathan Wilson for another edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Wilson's selections feature goals curled into the top corner, tiny footballing plot holes in TV crime dramas and why elite-level goalnets have lost all their personality... Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel explore some potential names for an independent footbal...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare welcome Vithushan Ehantharajah on loan from the Independent and the Football Ramble to explore football stadiums....or should that be stadia? Is it "stamping ground" or "stomping ground"? What constitutes a "fortress"? What’s the most patronised ground in football? How does a stadium become a cauldron? And whatever happened to those Qatari World Cu...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and James Maw convene for another extended session of the Adjudication Panel, where they enjoy a strong candidate for the most aurally-pleasing goal of 2021, speculate on how and where Gareth Southgate saves his England squad list, and take a deep dive into just how a footballing "Matt" becomes a "Matty". There is also the bizarre backstory to one of the gr...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and James McNicholas are joined by singer, songwriter, producer and ex-Manchester City youth player Shura for another edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Shura's selections include her deep love for slide-tackling, David Seaman's "Refreshers" goalkeeper kit at Euro '96 and an irrational aversion to Jack Grealish's barely-existent shinpads. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel d...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker pick through the rubble of the 48-hour-long European Super League and what it meant for our consumption of modern football. How did Gary Neville become the Pied Piper of football discourse? Why did nobody use the words "game's gone" despite the game quite literally nearly going? Did we witness the worst-ever instance of politicians de...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox navigate their way around the language of the football pitch, from the fabled "mixer" to the sovereign state of "James Ward-Prowse territory". How big is a "pocket of space"? How exactly does a goalkeeper find themselves in "no man's land"? And will football ever go fully metric? They also discuss whether "cheese slice" is ever an acce...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by TV and radio presenter and former GamesMaster host Dominik Diamond for another edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. Dominik waxes lyrical about ticket-touting priests in Barcelona, 10-year-old matchday gangsters in Glasgow, hilariously polite Canadian soccer fans and how he was partly responsible for David "Calamity" James' Liverpool blu...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker celebrate the return of grassroots football by taking a voyage through the classic Sunday League lineup, an XI of precious goalkeepers, dutiful right-backs, reluctant left-backs, chatty centre-halves, spherical but untouchable midfield playmakers and The Big Man Up Front. They also examine the anatomy of every half-time Sunday League...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by rapper, comedian, actor and writer Ben Bailey Smith, aka Doc Brown, for another edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. Among the things Ben can finally get off his chest are weirdly old-fashioned football chants, the pure joy of Ian Wright and a deep, deep dive into the mandatory punditry phrase that is "in and around". Meanwhile, the Adju...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller convene for an extended meeting of the Adjudication Panel, in which they try and untangle the statistical chaos of Pele vs Cristiano Ronaldo, celebrate the phrase “basement boys” and decide which footballing things would survive a nuclear apocalypse. They also decide if anyone has the patience for a summer of “Zlatan” at the Euros, pon...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Jack Pitt-Brooke are joined by actor and comedian Tom Rosenthal for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. Tom's gloriously niche picks for his loves and hates of modern football include teams wearing emergency kit combinations, the humiliation of celebrating goals that don't actually go in, and fans who shout futile tactical advice from the stands. Meanwhile,...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by the Mirror's chief football writer John Cross for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. John's picks for his loves and hates of modern football include eavesdropping on the mundane chats of substitutes, the eternal magic™ of the FA Cup, glorious retro football TV shows and a deep dive into why commentators keep using the word "...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Amitai Winehouse examine the art of co-commentary, from the relaxing chattiness of Ally McCoist to the A-list authority of Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher — and why "Relight My Fire" by Take That (feat. Lulu) is an unlikely but perfect showcase of why we need co-commentators. They also discuss some not-quite-so-seamless Match of the Day commentar...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke celebrate the return of the European action by selecting their all-time Pure Champions League XI: a lineup of players who encapsulate everything about the modern era of continental football, from hapless Russian goalkeepers to bland UEFA-approved playmakers. They also examine the classic but previously unexplained punditry phrase...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and George Caulkin examine the evolution of footballing outrage: from the backpass law to the 39th Game, from expected goals to players swapping shirts at half-time...and why poor, old Stockley Park has become the supposed resting place for football as we know it. But what exactly does "the game's gone" even mean? They also discuss whether you can you...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and Michael Cox flick through a brief history of football magazines, including glossy adverts for shinpads, dissecting every quickfire footballer interview ever, the story of Icon, the ill-fated magazine created by Jamie Redknapp and Tim Sherwood....and the eternal debate: Shoot or Match? They also discuss football's disappointing lack of eponymous adjectives,...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller are your transfer experts in the lead-up to deadline day as they explore the seven classic types of January signing, propose some possible deals that make almost perfect sense for everyone involved, and select their ultimate Transfer Rumour XI. They also forecast the likely Chelsea career trajectory of Thomas Tuchel, discuss who has th...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by football commentator Peter Drury for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. Peter's picks for his loves and hates of modern football include gloriously biased local radio commentary, meaningless statistics and teams wearing their away kits for absolutely no reason. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also discuss whether we should...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Nick Miller and James Horncastle present a brief history of foreign players in the Premier League, from the flops to the superstars.  They look back at some of the more naive unveilings of exotic new signings - including Paolo Di Canio and a frozen pizza - the traditional challenges faced by Premier League imports and, once and for all, get to the bottom of the concept...

Bald American goalkeepers, giant hapless centre-halves, functional wide men, set-piece specialists, defensive midfield enforcers signed off the back of a 7/10 major tournament, flash-in-the-pan foreign goalscorers….and Yakubu? The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller bring you the definitive Barclays Premier League ELEVEN! Subscribe to The Athletic Right now you can enjoy the...

The pros and cons of actual jumpers for goalposts, the goalscoring word crisis, the uncertain future of “You’re Shit Aaaaaahhhhh!”, the theory behind a perfect knee-slide celebration, the Cliches quiz scandals of 2020, the psychological challenges of office 5-a-side, the most Champions Leaguey group possible, how to get your Soccer Saturday roving reporter name, the art of footballing small talk,...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey delves into the weird and wonderful world of football mascots and is joined by the foremost authorities on the subject - the man who literally wrote the book on mascots, Nick Miller, and a woman who has actually designed a real life mascot herself, Katie Whyatt. We look at problematic shrimps, diving hornets, the cult of Boiler Man, mascot marriages, the mascot Grand Nat...

The Football Clichés Quiz returns! Six months after winning it in controversial lockdown scenes, the Athletic's Oliver Kay returns to defend his title against new challenger Jack Pitt-Brooke, over five rounds of questions including Famous Football Quotes Put Through Google Translate, the film cameos of Premier League managers, and "Have these men ever played for West Ham or Aston Villa?" Hosted on...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Sky Sports and BBC Radio 5 Live presenter Kelly Cates for another edition of of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. Among Kelly's nominations are the visual spectacle of pyro on a European night, the smell of Deep Heat, the acute joy of an undeserved win and football fans using players' nicknames as if they're best friends. Meanwhile, the Adjudica...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by comedian, actor and Swansea City fan Elis James for another edition of of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'. Among Elis's nominations are the curious cliché of The Kop "sucking the ball in" at Anfield, commentating over the top of his own goals at 5-a-side, the absurdly baggy sleeves of mid-1990s football shirts, and when TV and film just get foo...