Football Ramble

Juventus and their sentient statue Giorgio Chiellini bring Spurs’ Champions League dream to an end, Aleksandar Mitrovic rubs further salt into Geordie wounds and there are rumbles of discontent at West Ham. Again. Furthermore there’s a welcome return for Jaffa Cakes, we hear of your nemesi and there’s a further chance to restore some family honour… This show is sponsored by bet365 Search ‘Football...

Dear Listeners, Once again we want to show some love to the many of you who send in your correspondence. In this special you’ll hear us discuss a potentially dark twist in the future of VAR, fake warmth (the scourge of League Two) and what football can learn from Wrestlemania.  You want more? You got it. There’s Stuart Pearce kicking off at the opera, more warlock chat, and footballers at wed...

The lining of Carlos Carvalhal’s jacket inspires his rejuvenated Swans to victory over generous West Ham, Arsenal’s holograms at least manage consistency and Antonio Conte simply doesn’t seem that fussed.  Alongside all this, Garth Crooks attacks science, we discuss our various personal vendettas and Marcus is keen to fill up that England plane, potentially with Championship players. Why not...

Both snow and goals fell heavily at Wembley as Spurs march on in the FA Cup, Burnley and Everton brick up their nets and scoff at the very idea of something as fancy as scoring, while the lucky boys of Liverpool look forward to a visit from Newcastle.  Elsewhere Pete faces a difficult choice between two of his great loves, we witness the beginning of a family feud, and request your tales of f...

Pep Guardiola gets his first trophy as Man City manager, inspires another dissection of Arsenal and is accused of harbouring a fugitive all at once, while Jose Mourinho emerges victorious in a rare on-pitch ding dong with Antonio Conte, and down at The Hawthorns Alan Pardew is as bemused as the rest of us. On top of all this there’s a warlock, an earful for Tony Pulis and though there may be bad b...

The FA Cup has delivered again, as just when it looked like Man City might win everything, up stepped Wigan, and then for some reason Peter Reid.  Composing ourselves after this development we look ahead to the Carabao Cup Final, look back at Pete’s red carpet adventures and reflect on Nobby Solano’s choice of holiday destination.  Meanwhile, on the same show, Patrice Evra Patrice Evras,...

This week brings wonderful drama from the FA Cup courtesy of Rochdale and their manager Keith Hill, a man who in a way is all of our dads, Carlos Carvalhal distracts from a goalless draw with some welcome Police Academy chat and in The Championship Mimin’ Mick McCarthy is gloriously tetchy after the Old Farm Derby. As well as all this precious gold there’s the novel concept of tackling above the h...

After a time getting acquainted with Claude Puel’s radiator Riyad Mahrez is ready for FA Cup action, as are Spurs as they head to Rochdale’s obstacle course of a pitch, and Man United hope to cause an upset by finding a way past Huddersfield.  There are special days for Neymar and Kevin Keegan, an expose on the devious Going for Glold tactics of our dear host and a lot of painful, disruptive...

This show features that rarest of beasts; a happy Pete Donaldson, giddy from a Newcastle win and a mutant chicken binge. Not only that, we have the North London Derby, chaos between Stoke and Brighton and more importantly, a penis being seen.  If that isn’t enough there’s also time for revelations about football’s bald illuminati, Tim Sherwood’s surprising sideline and our interest being piqu...

The North London Derby looms and will be particularly interesting as diving has now officially been declared fine, Ederson eases Man City’s injury crisis by reinventing himself as a midfielder and David Moyes gets a cheerleader in the form of fun-time Patrice Evra.  We also shine a light on the maudlin nature of Antonio Conte’s current work, discover that fruit may work as an injury treatment...

Jurgen Klopp pops his top at Anfield after more referee related grievances (but luckily Pete’s devised a novel way to improve them once and for all), Arsenal roar back into the title race and the relegation scrap stays determinedly tight.   Elsewhere there’s a welcome return for Ramble (Marcus) favourite Joe the Goal, we make a splash in Vietnam and there are worrying developments in Rus...

As another transfer window slams dramatically and confusingly shut we do our best to assess who has done well and what Arsenal were actually planning, Dele Alli shows all the signs of following in the footsteps of many an England great at the World Cup and those resurgent swans of Swansea start to fly up the table.  Within our usual ‘professionality’ there’s also talk of club therapists leaki...

And there you were thinking there'd be no action at St James's Park on Transfer Deadline Day! As promised in the 12 Rambles of Christmas we’re back to shine a light on Mike Ashley’s reign of errors at Newcastle United, courtesy of competition winner Matt Baker! There’s the return (and subsequent mugging off) of Kevin Keegan, the Cockney Mafia, Joe Kinnear swearing, a lot, er Alan Pardew also swear...

The FA Cup rolls on with a delightful cameo from Shola Ameobi, West Ham fans get angry and we hear more tales of humility from Man of the People Carlos Tevez. Elsewhere Mick McCarthy turns a phrase, Leeds get lost in translation and Marcus gets his hope back.  There’s also time to hear about Luke’s trip to Fratton Park, play a vintage edition of Going for Glold and an honest assessment of Rod...

It’s FA Cup weekend again and Marcus’ soothsmelling nose sniffs a cup upset, the Class of ’92 make some noise to check that nobody has forgotten they were really good and as usual there’s plenty of weasel chat.  As we further survey the footballing land we spy on Chelsea’s transfers shenanigans, yet more woe from the Stadium of Light and, as is only correct, Neil Warnock is heavily involved.&...

An eventful show as Watford engage in their traditional managerial sacking, Man United and Arsenal engage in the lesser-spotted swap deal and Chelsea for some reason continue their attempts to create a basketball team.  And there’s more! Marcus has a new crush, we learn about Sean Dyche’s seduction techniques, Carlos Tevez gets some bad press and Jim strikes a blow in his ongoing yet previous...

Marcus returns from Argentina and even beef lag can’t keep him down, especially not when there’s talk of Andy Carroll moving to Chelsea, the criminal investigations of the Mayor of Liverpool and a gob full of worms to chew over. So to speak.  On top of all this the long mooted Newcastle takeover careers into the buffers, we have one of our all time great pieces of correspondence and Ronaldinh...

Wow! Liverpool vindicate one of Moorestradamus’ recent visions with a narrative-shredding performance at Anfield, the bottom end of the table heats up as the Pardew Bounce finally arrives and the Crosthwaite family of SW6 make life difficult for Chelsea. Elsewhere Ryan Giggs earns a chance at Wales, Joselu pops up as he will all too occasionally do and there are the warmest of words for James Miln...

Bristol City provide the gifs that keep on giffing after their narrowbao Carabao Cup defeat to Man City, Chelsea and Arsenal play second fiddle to the VAR narrative because they managed to play a game in which nothing happened and we look ahead to what is potentially the thigh rubber of the season as Liverpool welcome Man City to Anfield.  On top of this bonanza there are important dentistry...

The 3rd round of the FA Cup doesn’t disappoint as it features upsets, wonder goals and gallon upon gallon of claret. We dissect Arsenal’s fey misanthropes, bask in the glory of how good Virgil Van Dijk is when he’s trying and say “thanks for the memories” to Mark Hughes. Elsewhere we offer the insightful perspective on modern dentistry that we’ve become synonymous with, lament a rarely seen type o...

Arsene Wenger’s crusade against referees continues as he blows his top following a pulsating draw with Chelsea, Swansea and Spurs overcome a Bible-level flood event and the fun keeps coming as FA Cup weekend kicks off with the Merseyside derby. BUT THERE’S MORE! The fixture pile up has sent Alan Pardew straight to the bottom of the Pardew slide, another statue arrives, we have some excitable corre...

We’re back in a brand new year and there has been sooo much football. The Mark Hughes fuse looks close to blowing, Liverpool get good at dragging games over the line while their players head off to awards ceremonies and Manchester United come under siege from the Kings of Rock ’n Roll.  Elsewhere, surprisingly proportioned statue, Sadio Mane’s delightful former club and a heartwarming tale of...

Hello! It’s that weird week between Christmas and new year where nobody knows what day it is but it’s fine because there’s loads of football, and about football we chat. There’s Harry Kane’s magnificent calendar year, Yaya Toure’s annual wheeling out in what’s becoming his own personal panto season, and the merciful end to Virgil van Dijk and Liverpool’s transfer saga.  Elsewhere there’s your...

At the top spot on our list, it's the two greatest players to have ever lived. It would be fantastic had just one of these men come along at the same time as The Football Ramble, but to have not one but two, both seemingly vying for that right to occupy the title of Greatest Player Ever in our time is incredible. As we finish our Christmas countdown of the best, most interesting events and themes...

Potentially the greatest club manager to have ever walked the Earth, Sir Alex Ferguson retired in 2013 after 26 years and an astonishing 38 trophies at the helm of Manchester United. What followed was chaos as the sublime turned into the ridiculous and United struggled to replace such a colossal figure. Nearly five years on Jose Mourinho rules the roost at Old Trafford, but the shockwaves of Fergu...